英検2級ライティング添削お願いしますToday, some schools help students do volunteer activities. Do you think schools should give students more chances to do volunteer activities? I think schools should give students more chances to do volunteer activities. I have two reasons to support this opinion. First of all, it will be a good chance to meet various people.For example, we go to strange cities as a volunteer,we can meet new people who have different ideas.therefore,we can learn many things.Second of all,it is very useful for themselves.For instance,volunteering gives me confidence and motivation.Therefore,I think schools should give students more chances to do volunteer activities.

◆全体 14点／16点中 語い：3／4 文法：3／4 内容：4／4 構成：4／4 ⸻ 文ごとの指摘と改善例 1、I think schools should give students more chances to do volunteer activities. → 明確で正しい文です。導入として適切。 ⸻ 2、I have two reasons to support this opinion. → 自然な文ですが、「for my opinion」より「for my idea」や「for this opinion」が少し形式的。OKです。 ⸻ 3、First of all, it will be a good chance to meet various people. → 「a good chance」でも通じますが、「a great opportunity」の方が英検では高評価の語い。 改善例: First of all, it will be a great opportunity to meet various people. ⸻ 4、For example, we go to strange cities as a volunteer, we can meet new people who have different ideas. → 「strange cities」は「奇妙な街」という意味になるので、「unknown」や「different」が適切。また、カンマで2文をつなぐのは文法ミス。 改善例: For example, when we go to different cities as volunteers, we can meet new people who have different ideas. ⸻ 5 therefore,we can learn many things. → 「Therefore」は文頭は大文字に。「many things」よりも「a lot from them」など具体的にするとより自然。 改善例: Therefore, we can learn a lot from them. ⸻ 6 Second of all,it is very useful for themselves. → 「themselves」は「they」に対応するが、主語は「it」。ここでは「students」に合わせて「them」が正しい。 改善例: Second, it is very useful for them. ⸻ 7、For instance,volunteering gives me confidence and motivation. → 良い例ですが、「me」を使うと個人的すぎるので「students」にすると統一感が出ます。 改善例: For instance, volunteering gives students confidence and motivation. ⸻ 8、Therefore,I think schools should give students more chances to do volunteer activities. → 結論として良い締め方です。

かなり良いと思います！強いて言うならstrange cities よりはother cities やdifferent citiesの方が自然な気がします！as a volunteer のところは主語がwe なのでas volunteersが正しいですかね。2つ目の理由のところはvolunteering gives them(students)ですかね。 全体的にいい構成なので更に高めるならfor exampleやfor instanceの他にもas a result や alsoなんかを加えられるとよりまとまりの良いものになると思います！！頑張ってください！