Longlegs
Hexagore

Review by Hexagore Patron

Longlegs 2024

★★

Watched 19 Jul 2024

I went to the cinema to watch Osgood Perkins' beloved "Longlegs." Perkins' previous work has been hit or miss for me; I enjoyed "The Blackcoat’s Daughter (2015)" but couldn't connect with "Gretel & Hansel (2020)."

Unfortunately, history repeated itself. Many of the problems I had with "Gretel & Hansel" reappeared. Technically, the film was top-notch, conveying a David Fincher-style mood with lots of browns, low contrast, and a somber atmosphere with low-key lighting. Add a Super 8 format for flashbacks, and you've got another arthouse-infused indie horror product. The procedural "Silence of the Lambs (1991)" / "Se7en (1995)" mystery plot initially raised my hopes, but then it turned into the current wave of "elevated horror" trends, which are starting to irritate me beyond measure.

The plot is essentially twenty minutes stretched to 101 excruciating minutes with biblical symbolism, emotionless acting, long pauses, slow talking, and red herrings so obvious that it's clear within the first half-hour where everything is heading.

The gist is about special FBI Agent Lee Harker (Maika Monroe), who has clairvoyant tendencies, following up on the cold case of serial killer "Longlegs" (Nicolas Cage bringing his rage cage into the mix for a couple of minutes). He never commits the murders himself but triggers fathers to kill their whole family the day before their kids' 14th birthday. Sounds great, right? Well, I was pumped and ready, but halfway through, I was quite done with it.

I couldn't connect with its characters and puzzle-structured story with exposition dumps through symbolism, coded letters, and Bible texts quoting the "Book of Revelation." If it were an interactive point-and-click adventure game, I'd be more engaged, but I'd also be equally disappointed with its ambiguous final act/ending. A couple in our row stood up and left after 80 minutes, and the young girls in front of us exclaimed, "What the fuck?!" when the end credits rolled. The plot is straightforward, presented in dialogue and exposition, but it felt mostly forced, pretentiously constructed as a fever dream with a wasted Nicolas Cage.

I rather like the idea of it bringing in positive box office results because it's a horror film, which will ultimately lead to more horror projects reaching the multiplexes. The plethora of choice will statistically lead to more films I can connect with and enjoy. I sure hope so. However, I think I'm done with this type of unfulfilling slow burn "elevated horror" schtick that annoys me instead of entertains. It's time for a different type of horror film that isn't too ashamed to be a horror film.

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