*opening credits are cut between clips of women being abused by dudes in suits*
What kind of perverse monster would start off a movie this way?
*cuts to logo of Brett Ratner's production company*
Oh that makes sense.
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Ant-Man and the Wasp 2018
If you're looking for a sequel to a fun movie to challenge you on a emotional level: watch Paddington 2.
If you're looking for a sequel to push its narrative in a fresh direction: watch Paddington 2.
If you're looking for a script that has anything resembling ambition or ingenuity: watch Paddington 2.
If you want to continue giving these movies a pass even though I'm positive you know this one was kinda sucky because #Marvel #Is #Fun: Maybe watch…
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Roe v. Wade 2019
The cinematic event of a generation as it's the biggest collection of dumbfucks since the 2016 republican national convention.
Milo
Tomi
Jon Voight
Jamie Kennedy?This is the avengers of fucking morons.
Here's the synopsis, which is the funniest thing I have ever read:
"The 2019 film Roe v. Wade is based on the American landmark decision of the same name, issued in 1973 by the U.S. Supreme Court on the issue of the constitutionality of laws that criminalized or…
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Thor: Ragnarok 2017
The following transcript is taken from a recent interview between Mr. Merritt and Marvel Cinematic Universe Producer Kevin Feige.
MM: Hi Kevin, thanks for making the time to chat.
KF: No problem, bro. We're 9 months into filming Infinity War so this car basically drives itself haha.
MM: Fantastic. So, I just saw Thor: Ragnarok...
KF: And you loved it?
MM: I wouldn't say that.
KF: You thought it was totally awesome and a really fun time?
MM: Well, I.....…
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Triple Frontier 2019
A bloody, morose, white knuckle affair about greed and its ability to ruin decent people inside and out.
Chandor directs as if he’s auditioning to make the next Mission: Impossible and we’re all the better for it.
Grade: 8.5/10
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No Time to Die 2021
In 2006, they needed a win. They had a new Bond, there was backlash, and they needed a win.
In 2012, they needed a win. The studio was in dire straits financially, a film hadn't been made in four years, and they needed a win.
Both times, they got a win.
In 2021, they once again needed a win. A director/script change at the last second and three delays due to a global pandemic made it so that a film…
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Conclave 2024
Nothing hits quite like a pulpy, throwaway airport thriller turned into a prestige drama. That this flows this smoothly and builds to a satisfying emotional and almost lyrical denoument makes it all the more wonderful.
In this particular moment in time (I will never write that phrase again, I promise) I also think it’s an important statement that we are not our institutions, and our institutions are not us. That it’s important to release ourselves from the past. How a…
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Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri 2017
Billboard 1: Wonderfully composed characters
Billboard 2: Honest storytelling, sharp humor
Billboard 3: Thank you, Martin McDonagh!
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Mary Poppins Returns 2018
I have a rule when it comes to grades.
If I cry due to an emotional bond I've built with a character, the movie gets 4 ½ stars immediately. If a movie is genuinely able to pull an emotion like that out of me, a person who occasionally closes themselves off from those things, I can’t pretend it’s anything other than a huge feat.
Rather than name the number of times I cried (and embarrass myself), I’ll highlight the one…
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A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood 2019
Tom Hanks playing Mr. Rogers is the equivalent to LeBron James stealing the ball at mid-court and throwing down a 360 tomahawk dunk with no one bothering to even give chase.
Hoping it breaks his ridiculous 19-year Oscar nomination drought.
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Cold Pursuit 2019
A february Liam Neeson revenge thriller shouldn't be this good, and yet, here we are.
If you're in the mood for a violent, intelligent, gorgeously shot action thriller that also happens to be cheeky as hell, Cold Pursuit is the movie for you. Hell, even if you aren't looking for those things, Cold Pursuit is probably still for you.
Hans Petter Moland's remake of his own film is directed as confidently as you'd expect from someone in his position. He…
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Oppenheimer 2023
Dr. Oppenheimer or How I Learned to Start Worrying and Hate The Bomb and Also Myself
Need to watch again to fully process but holy shit.