Paint Drying

Paint Drying

Well, I’m 18. Quite scared for what now I’m sure are obvious reasons. But there’s still hope. While I’m not much better from where I was a year ago there’s things to look forward to. I’m seeing a brand spanking new therapist and on some new medication that is almost guaranteed to help and if it doesn’t, it’s a stepping stone to something that will.

While I’m also turning 18 it’s also one days away from the one year anniversary of my last suicide attempt. I attempted on the night of January 31st. The fucked up part is when I was commiting I didn’t even realize it was one day after my birthday. It’s depressing to see I haven’t grown all to much since then. I still have the same fears. But I’ve also gained friends and family. And that’s something to be grateful for. I also reached 1,000 followers in between that time so that’s exciting.

No matter what the outcome of this next yeat I just want to say thank you to all.

Block or Report

BlakeMower liked these reviews

All
' ].join(''); if ( adsScript && adsScript === 'bandsintown' && adsPlatforms && ((window.isIOS && adsPlatforms.indexOf("iOS") >= 0) || (window.isAndroid && adsPlatforms.indexOf("Android") >= 0)) && adsLocations && adsMode && ( (adsMode === 'include' && adsLocations.indexOf(window.adsLocation) >= 0) || (adsMode === 'exclude' && adsLocations.indexOf(window.adsLocation) == -1) ) ) { var opts = { artist: "", song: "", adunit_id: 100005950, div_id: "cf_async_562dffb8-4d2d-4858-8049-a8ef140d6ebd" }; adUnit.id = opts.div_id; if (target) { target.insertAdjacentElement('beforeend', adUnit); } else { tag.insertAdjacentElement('afterend', adUnit); } var c=function(){cf.showAsyncAd(opts)};if(typeof window.cf !== 'undefined')c();else{cf_async=!0;var r=document.createElement("script"),s=document.getElementsByTagName("script")[0];r.async=!0;r.src="//srv.tunefindforfans.com/fruits/apricots.js";r.readyState?r.onreadystatechange=function(){if("loaded"==r.readyState||"complete"==r.readyState)r.onreadystatechange=null,c()}:r.onload=c;s.parentNode.insertBefore(r,s)}; } else { adUnit.id = 'pw-562dffb8-4d2d-4858-8049-a8ef140d6ebd'; adUnit.className = 'pw-div -tile300x250 -alignleft -bottommargin'; adUnit.setAttribute('data-pw-' + (renderMobile ? 'mobi' : 'desk'), 'med_rect_btf'); if (target) { target.insertAdjacentElement('beforeend', adUnit); } else { tag.insertAdjacentElement('afterend', adUnit); } window.addEventListener('DOMContentLoaded', (event) => { adUnit.insertAdjacentHTML('afterend', kicker); window.ramp.que.push(function () { window.ramp.addTag('pw-562dffb8-4d2d-4858-8049-a8ef140d6ebd'); }); }, { once: true }); } } tag.remove(); })(document.getElementById('script-562dffb8-4d2d-4858-8049-a8ef140d6ebd'));
' ].join(''); if ( adsScript && adsScript === 'bandsintown' && adsPlatforms && ((window.isIOS && adsPlatforms.indexOf("iOS") >= 0) || (window.isAndroid && adsPlatforms.indexOf("Android") >= 0)) && adsLocations && adsMode && ( (adsMode === 'include' && adsLocations.indexOf(window.adsLocation) >= 0) || (adsMode === 'exclude' && adsLocations.indexOf(window.adsLocation) == -1) ) ) { var opts = { artist: "", song: "", adunit_id: 100005950, div_id: "cf_async_6120240e-3cac-4c4f-9a03-bea5a7c1a489" }; adUnit.id = opts.div_id; if (target) { target.insertAdjacentElement('beforeend', adUnit); } else { tag.insertAdjacentElement('afterend', adUnit); } var c=function(){cf.showAsyncAd(opts)};if(typeof window.cf !== 'undefined')c();else{cf_async=!0;var r=document.createElement("script"),s=document.getElementsByTagName("script")[0];r.async=!0;r.src="//srv.tunefindforfans.com/fruits/apricots.js";r.readyState?r.onreadystatechange=function(){if("loaded"==r.readyState||"complete"==r.readyState)r.onreadystatechange=null,c()}:r.onload=c;s.parentNode.insertBefore(r,s)}; } else { adUnit.id = 'pw-6120240e-3cac-4c4f-9a03-bea5a7c1a489'; adUnit.className = 'pw-div'; adUnit.setAttribute('data-pw-' + (renderMobile ? 'mobi' : 'desk'), 'sky_btf'); if (target) { target.insertAdjacentElement('beforeend', adUnit); } else { tag.insertAdjacentElement('afterend', adUnit); } window.addEventListener('DOMContentLoaded', (event) => { adUnit.insertAdjacentHTML('afterend', kicker); window.ramp.que.push(function () { window.ramp.addTag('pw-6120240e-3cac-4c4f-9a03-bea5a7c1a489'); }); }, { once: true }); } } tag.remove(); })(document.getElementById('script-6120240e-3cac-4c4f-9a03-bea5a7c1a489'));