Paint Drying

Paint Drying

I want to apologize for the past few weeks I've wasted time on not being here for you or getting anything done. I was so focused on irrelevant nonsense that it caused the flame inside me to die out, and in an ironic tragedy, the absence of that creative spark was only making it worse. For well over a month I was on a downward spiral, constantly going more and more insane as I made less progress in school, thinking that sitting back and doing nothing once I got home was somehow the solution. I realize now that movies truly are the thing that keeps me going in life, and that without it I would be nothing. Maybe that sounds like a sad reality, but that's the one I chose to dedicate my life to, and it's my responsibility to keep it moving forward. Nothing depresses me more than not thoroughly showing my love for animation, and that's difficult to deal with when you sometimes want to try something new while also having an addictive personality.

My breaking point was last Monday when I caught Covid a second time and was forced to stay home with genuinely nothing to do for 4 days straight, it made me realize just how much I love school and how much rather I would sit there drawing until 10 in the evening, especially when I came back today and walked out the happiest I've been since I wrote that Fantastic Mr. Fox review back in January, just having fun with friends, getting shit done and not being so hung up on bullshit. I was objectifying my work so much and focusing so hard on my teacher's expectations that I wasn't even able to have fun doing it anymore. Well, to that I say Fuck 'em! Fuck my rapport card and fuck that one teacher that completely shat all over my work last semester! I wanna go back to being the oblivious Satoshi Kon loving dumbass I used to be before that whole debacle happened. To hell with whatever's coming to me in a month, let's focus on what I can do today, and the first step is to open my watchlist and go back to being the little asshole that got me this far.

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