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Here is a cookie:
See this cookie? They had piles and piles of these cookies (and also chocolate chip and oatmeal) in front of the security gates this morning around 11 at work. They were there as a Thank You, I guess, for putting up with the fire drill they had just put us through. And I am guessing they felt they had to give us make-up cookies for putting us through a second drill so soon after the last one.
But do you know why we had a second drill so soon after the last one? Because we SUCK. Everyone in that building SUCKS at fire drills. They shouldn't be giving them cookies, they should be giving them LASHES. The behavior of our buildings' residents during fire drills makes me want to PUNCH people. Usually in the back of the neck while I am stuck behind them in the stairwell during the fire drill.
Here are the ways we sucked the first time around: People brought their drinks with them, despite the explicit rule to not do so (one dropped drink means how many people sliding on liquid in an emergency?) People chatted on their cell phones. People texted on their way down the stairs. One person decided to go down 14 flights with their crutches (Yes, there are provisions in place for people who need to take the freight elevator in an emergency). Our time in getting everyone out of the building sucked so bad we got a lecture about it from building management.
And here are the ways building management sucks at the fire drill: the people with disabilities are told to wait at the freight elevator to be taken down. But, once they got there, the people assigned to take them told them it is just a drill and sent them back to their desks. So, as far as I can tell, they never actually *tested* how fast they can get everyone who needs assistance out of the building, or how many trips it is going to take. Way 2: If I am spotting building employees every third landing with trash bags to take away drinks from people who brought drinks, then you have given away the fact that this is a drill, and removed any sense of urgency that might have otherwise spurred these layabouts into movement. Way 3: Ditto if there is SOMEONE FILMING THE ENTIRE OPERATION WITH THEIR IPHONE.
It has reached the point where when the little pre-alarm speech goes off saying "if this is really an emergency, leave when the tone goes off" that I don't bother to wait for the tone. I am absolutely sure that if it were a real emergency, my only hope would be to get the hell out before 95% of the rest of the building decides to get to its feet. I just grab my stuff and go.
This time, I made it to the 7th floor before traffic crushed to a stop, and I had to stand behind chatting, meandering nincompoops. And still, apparently, I was better off than the majority of my office, who didn't move as fast as I did. Apparently by the time our fire wardens were ready to leave, the traffic stoppage was all the way back to the 14th floor, and it could take up to 5 minutes to even get a spot in the goddamn stairwell.
If it were me, we wouldn't have helpful employees offering to take drinks. We would have goddamn movie smoke and sparks, and if that didn't work, friggin electric cattle prods.
This makes me unreasonably angry, I know, but I lived through my apartment building catching fire in a non-minor way when I was growing up (my parents were convinced it was some kind of insurance scam by the end, as the building connected to ours burnt to the ground all three times) and I am just not okay with this kind of lackadaisical bullshit. I am not going to burn because you had to play Popcap during an evacuation.
See this cookie? They had piles and piles of these cookies (and also chocolate chip and oatmeal) in front of the security gates this morning around 11 at work. They were there as a Thank You, I guess, for putting up with the fire drill they had just put us through. And I am guessing they felt they had to give us make-up cookies for putting us through a second drill so soon after the last one.
But do you know why we had a second drill so soon after the last one? Because we SUCK. Everyone in that building SUCKS at fire drills. They shouldn't be giving them cookies, they should be giving them LASHES. The behavior of our buildings' residents during fire drills makes me want to PUNCH people. Usually in the back of the neck while I am stuck behind them in the stairwell during the fire drill.
Here are the ways we sucked the first time around: People brought their drinks with them, despite the explicit rule to not do so (one dropped drink means how many people sliding on liquid in an emergency?) People chatted on their cell phones. People texted on their way down the stairs. One person decided to go down 14 flights with their crutches (Yes, there are provisions in place for people who need to take the freight elevator in an emergency). Our time in getting everyone out of the building sucked so bad we got a lecture about it from building management.
And here are the ways building management sucks at the fire drill: the people with disabilities are told to wait at the freight elevator to be taken down. But, once they got there, the people assigned to take them told them it is just a drill and sent them back to their desks. So, as far as I can tell, they never actually *tested* how fast they can get everyone who needs assistance out of the building, or how many trips it is going to take. Way 2: If I am spotting building employees every third landing with trash bags to take away drinks from people who brought drinks, then you have given away the fact that this is a drill, and removed any sense of urgency that might have otherwise spurred these layabouts into movement. Way 3: Ditto if there is SOMEONE FILMING THE ENTIRE OPERATION WITH THEIR IPHONE.
It has reached the point where when the little pre-alarm speech goes off saying "if this is really an emergency, leave when the tone goes off" that I don't bother to wait for the tone. I am absolutely sure that if it were a real emergency, my only hope would be to get the hell out before 95% of the rest of the building decides to get to its feet. I just grab my stuff and go.
This time, I made it to the 7th floor before traffic crushed to a stop, and I had to stand behind chatting, meandering nincompoops. And still, apparently, I was better off than the majority of my office, who didn't move as fast as I did. Apparently by the time our fire wardens were ready to leave, the traffic stoppage was all the way back to the 14th floor, and it could take up to 5 minutes to even get a spot in the goddamn stairwell.
If it were me, we wouldn't have helpful employees offering to take drinks. We would have goddamn movie smoke and sparks, and if that didn't work, friggin electric cattle prods.
This makes me unreasonably angry, I know, but I lived through my apartment building catching fire in a non-minor way when I was growing up (my parents were convinced it was some kind of insurance scam by the end, as the building connected to ours burnt to the ground all three times) and I am just not okay with this kind of lackadaisical bullshit. I am not going to burn because you had to play Popcap during an evacuation.
