1. Watching television last night, I was horrified to see there's a remake of The Three Stooges. Say it ain't so, Moe.
2. How can anyone tamper with such a classic? It's not just about substituting a bald guy, a guy with a bird nest hairdo, and a guy with a bowl cut mop.
3. I'm sure the genius of the original Stooge comedy will be reduced to adolescent male, bathroom humor.
4. How can they hope to improve on classic puns like, "Hi Lorna, how ya do'on?", the law firm of Dewey, Cheatem, and Howe, or the fish monger company, Hook, Line, and Sinker?
5. Why it would be as sacrilegious as remaking
Ben Hur. Oh, wait, they did that three times. Or remaking the story of the Titantic. Oh, wait, they did that three times. Or remaking the
Titanic in 3D. Oh, that remake is coming out, too. Or remaking
The Day the Earth Stood Still. Deep sigh, forlorn look.