Probably what would happen if John Waters and Michael Haneke had a baby and it's so good. Hilarious and utterly despicable.

Flawless. Amazing. Perfect. Emerald Fennell taps into that aristocratic bullshit and puts it on its knees. This movie is so deliciously ridiculous and made me laugh and cringe so hard and I appreciate that so much. The cast. The soundtrack. The setting. They give everything. I'm gonna end up watching this a lot of times.

Stayed up until the sun started rising to watch this and it was worth me feeling like a zombie that day. There’s so much complication and heartache in this story and only Todd Haynes could portray it in a way that fully examines that while keeping it witty and kinda wacky. Natalie Portman and Julianne Moore are perfect as usual but the real surprise is Charles Melton. He conveys everything on his face and you feel the naivety even though he’s a grown ass man. That final conversation between him and Julianne where she places blame on him broke my fucking heart.

Scorsese knows how to make an epic. Was not bored for one second and that’s saying A LOT for a historical movie that’s 3 1/2 hours long. Take note, Tarantino. Some directors don’t need to retire and still are just as good later in life. No shade because I love Tarantino as well but if Scorsese followed those same principles, then we wouldn’t have this beautiful fucking movie. Lily Gladstone better be nominated for all the awards.

I was actually expecting a much more hardcore sex scene from everything I had heard. It was very much a Nolan sex scene tho because it was weird af and out of place but totally perfect. Also, that look Emily Blunt gives Benny Safdie’s character at the end when he tries to shake her hand saved my life.

This movie is so stupid but legit hits all my trigger points when it comes to reaching cult classic status per my gay ass: 1. Cute non-English speaking guy, 2. Fucking weird, 3. A total 180 from the first movie, 4. Fucking weird, 5. Body horror for daaays, 6. Fucking weird. Poland’s tourism council needs to feature this on their website bc yes. It’s nonsensical but so much fun.

So ridiculous but yet another fun one. Keanu Reeves always and Bill Skarsgard popping up in the most random over the top suits ever?? Threesome goals.

A perfect movie. There are more layers than a deep fried onion dipped in chocolate. That sounds gross but so is grief. I’ve never seen a more accurate portrayal of grief and the guilt that can come with it.

I mean, no comparison to Cronenberg's body horror-centric Dead Ringers but damn does Rachel Weisz make this engaging af. Plus Jennifer Ehle popping up as the ultimate power lesbian? Oh, and also hello there, Ms. Karyn Kusama. After Yellowjackets and now this, my gurl is coming for that TV crown.

The definition of “that escalated quickly.” Every single entry is perfect and just keeps boiling and boiling until it covers the entire stove with water and then you remember you were just trying to boil some water for a little bit of tea. Steven Yeun and Ali Wong are perfect and I could watch them together forever. Was not expecting this to hit me as hard as it did. Water was leaking from my eyes at certain points.

Tell us you were forced to reboot your franchise because you didn’t want anyone else getting their grubby hands on your art without actually telling us. So meta, so queer, so goofy, so much love. I’d take a million existential money grab nostalgia Matrix sequels/reboots as long as someone with the last name Wachowski is behind them all.