John has written 77 reviews for films during 2016.
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Always Shine 2016
Most directors have a really hard time capturing suspense on film. I mean, yeah, there are a shitload of suspenseful movies, but most of them lack the impending sense of doom that any good thriller should have. Sophia Takal's Always Shine has that in spades. From the masterful opening credits to the final frame, here is a film that startles and also has something to say about how women are treated as a commodity in our society. And oh holy shit, all of this brought to us by a female director? Gold.
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Beyond the Gates 2016
It's always nice when a film pays homage to a time you hold dear. Video stores and VHS and '80s horror fine tuned my love of all things scary and I am forever grateful for that. Beyond the Gates, while nowhere near perfect, is a campy and sometimes cheesy bit of nostalgia. Scream queen Barbara Crampton is never not fabulous and here she steals the show without ever leaving the TV screen.
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Elle 2016
Paul Verhoeven is one of my favorite purveyors of trash cinema. I use that term lovingly btw. Basic Instinct helped shape my love for the femme fatale and Showgirls is just a cyclone of crazy that I could watch over and over again, and those are only two of my faves. So, here we are in 2016 and that same director famous for exploring sex as a weapon or as leverage has brought about one of the most thrilling movies…
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X-Men: Apocalypse 2016
No, I did not get emotional when they did the flashback of Charles and Erik in First Class. I have no idea what you're talking about. Don't look at me.
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Halloween II 2009
Rob Zombie gets a lot of shit from Halloween fans, but I'm a fan of his at times problematic re-imaginings of both films. He grew up with the originals and it was probably a huge deal for him that he got to revisit them in his own way. His brilliant ending of H2 will forever haunt me. Such a good use of song and visuals. Sometimes I'll catch myself thinking about it and get semi-emotional, which is kind of a big thing for me because I'm obviously a robot.
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Halloween H20: 20 Years Later 1998
H20 brought back Jamie Lee Curtis to the franchise and introduced the world to forever bae Josh Hartnett. There are some '90s horror cliches here and there, but this flick holds a special place in my heart. Seeing Laurie Strode running after Michael Myers instead of away from him is everything. My ass always gets chills when Jamie Lee screams, "MICHAEL!!!!!!" and then goes after that bitch with an ax while the theme music kicks in. Take back that power, queen. Let's just forget that Halloween: Resurrection ever happened.
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Halloween III: Season of the Witch 1982
Why does this movie get so much hate? Why haven't I seen this before now? Why am I asking so many questions? Who am I? Anyway, this is one of the most Carpenteresque movies I have ever seen. If you told me, without knowing already, that John Carpenter didn't direct this movie, I'd be like BYE. It feels like classic '80s JC and that's definitely a compliment. Writer/director Tommy Lee Wallace does a wonderful job of channeling that same kind…
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Lights Out 2016
I love horror movies that have a good backstory and this one definitely did. But that backstory quickly descended into some half-assed attempt to turn a monster into a physical manifestation of depression. This could have been a brilliant move if the execution wasn't so damn shit. The ending and its results treated mental illness as a horrifying burden that can only have one outcome. Not to mention the fact that the depressed individual was treated like a blubbering idiot. That's borderline irresponsible. It wasn't all bad, though. I was never bored and the boyfriend was pretty to look at.
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Swiss Army Man 2016
I spent the first half hour of this film wondering what exactly I was watching. And somewhere after that, I put all of that out of my mind and just let what I was watching flow in front of me. Then it just clicked and I was glad this was the movie that I chose to watch on this day during this time of my life. Nearing the end of the film, a sea of happiness came over me, one…
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Tickled 2016
Wealthy people should not be allowed access to their money or the internet. This shit was one wild Twilight Zone episode of a documentary. What started out as what the fuck what am I watching hilarity quickly derailed into what the fuck what is humanity I need a nap territory. Sidenote: That hairy guy who got tickled down, complete with erotic slo-mo, needs to hit me up.