mm has written 174 reviews for films during 2019.
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Any movie with this much Muse and parkour cannot be legally considered good.
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“And on the pedestal, these words appear:
My name is Tom Hooper, King of Kings;
Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal Wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away.”
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NOTES REVIEW:
- I know George liked the titles of these movies to be B-movie cheesy, but Phantom Menace is just dumb. Y’all shoulda known this would suck as soon as it was called that.
- Silver female 3PO makes me uncomfy.
- The trade route shit is A) really really bad and B) actually pretty good set up for what would come in ep III. The Jedi are glorified security guards with nothing to do. Palpatine all but pulls…
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This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.
I'm glad I waited to properly review until after my second watch, because my thoughts on this have changed and developed.
First things first. The Rise of Skywalker is:
1) A bad movie.
2) A bad Star Wars movie.
Ever since I saw it on Thursday, my mind has gone to 2 places in trying to contextualize what went wrong here: Watchmen and The Dark Knight Rises (PS stop putting 'Rise/Rises' in your movie titles, Hollywood. It's bad juju).
Like…
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Happy Holidays!
There are probably 100 weird little details that fascinate me about this movie. Perhaps the biggest two are that this movie exists in a timeline where Watergate happened and “Can’t Touch This” was recorded and released by MC Hammer.
Batman Returns is often pretty to look at, but it boasts a completely inert story and characters.
I’d love to do a commentary for this.
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I guess I’m not a big Elton John fan because I was quite bored by this and (predictably) spent most of the movie thinking of my favorite Walk Hard lines.
This is a dark fucking period!
Grade: 4.5/10
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Gooooooooose I love youuuuuuuuu sooooooo muuucchhhhh. I understand that cats are impossible to train to do stuff but you needed to be in this movie mooooore.
2019's first Dumb Discourse movie has made talking about this online (not that I do outside of LB) suck because smelly neckbeard MRA dweebs just aren't able to understand anything ever.
Brie Larson is, of course, right that media representation is skewed way too far to one demographic at a time when movie journalists…
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This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.
If there is a more self-indulgent, talking-to-hear-the-sound-of-your-own-voice movie that's come out in the last few years, I've yet to see it.
M. Night Shyamalan's kinda-sorta superhero trilogy has reached its end so we have to ask: what did it all mean?
Shyamalan seems like he knows the answer, but it sure as hell never came up anywhere in this 129-minute mess. Glass is the epitome of kitchen sink storytelling in which Shyamalan throws in every idea no matter how contrived or…
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Well shot, cast and acted medieval Shakespeare until Robert Pattinson comes in and sticks a grenade up the movie’s ass.
I know the whole “Pattinson is awesome” bit has become a little repetitive over the last few months, but god damn it is he awesome.
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Now, Sid, don't you blame the movies; movies don't create psychos, movies make psychos more creative!
That final reveal was trash and boy oh boy was this a precursor to Ready Player One. Yikes.
Neve Campbell must have suffered some major fatigue from carrying this movie on her back for an hour and a half.
The spoof is funnier ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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Eh.
A clever elevator pitch that doesn’t quite justify being an actual movie.
Samara Weaving’s next 5 years are going to be fun to watch, and that’s about all I’m taking away from this.
Grade: 5/10
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