The Me Who Wasn't Me
Finni: I just don't know... No matter what I try, it seems to get me nowhere.
Finni: I've scanned my body from head to toe and come up with nothing except some creaky joints that need oiling! Could that dream just be some kind of delusion?
Finni: I'm sure Eirene could clear this up for me if I asked her directly, but for some reason, I...I just can't.
Laxi: Finni, you have been acting conspicuously unusual for some time. Do you perhaps require maintenance?
Finni: Huh? Oh, Laxi. Don't worry. It has nothing to do with you.
Laxi: If there are any anomalies diminishing your performance, you must address them.
Laxi: ▷Is something worrying you? If we can help, please just say the word.◁
Finni: I told you, it's none of your business. ...Actually, I suppose since I've left Ex Machina, there isn't anyone else I can ask about android-related matters.
Finni: Okay, fine. I guess asking you can't hurt.
Laxi: ▷A...dream?◁ Irrational. We androids don't sleep, so we can't dream.
Finni: Cool, thanks. Great talk. I should've known you'd shut me down. Now I'm just annoyed.
Laxi: ▷Come on, Laxi. It might not sound realistic, but there's no point in denying that something's happening to her.◁
Laxi: ▷These "dreams" could be involuntary recollections of unfamiliar memories. There's no reason to think that couldn't happen to us as well.◁
Finni: That's exactly it. The thing is, the memories are totally foreign to me. It's not like they were previously erased; I genuinely never had them to begin with.
Laxi: ▷How can that be?◁ This grows more and more incomprehensible. I can only conclude that the cause is your damaged heart
Laxi: ▷The heart does bring together and coordinate a variety of different functions. The damage to your heart COULD have made some memories inaccessible.◁
Finni: Then what am I supposed to do about it? It's not like our hearts can be repaired.
Laxi: A strong shock should do the trick. When my heart was damaged, it made me remember a bit about Maestro.
Finni: Hm. So I just need to jolt the memories out of stasis, basically?
Laxi: It's possible that it could temporarily restore your heart's dormant functions. ▷I-is it just me, or does this plan sound a little more violent than necessary?◁
Finni: Hey, the proof is in the punching! One shock to the system, coming right up!
Laxi: ▷Don't say I didn't warn you...◁
Finni: Let's go the electric route first. We'll force a short-circuit and zap the memories outta whatever hole they're hiding in!
Laxi: ▷This is absurd! If this goes wrong, you might be lucky to hold on to the memories you have now. Finni, are you okay?!◁
Finni: *cough* Well, I'm feeling nice and tingly from the shock, but that's about it. Dammit. On to Plan B!
Finni: If at first you don't shock-ceed, then fire, fire again! We'll try to overheat my internal systems by hitting me with a blast almost hot enough to melt my armor!
Laxi: Your internal cooling systems can mitigate this level of heat. This is entirely pointless unless you expose yourself to a degree hot enough to melt down your entire body.
Finni: Huh. Okay, yeah, even I can see the risk in that. Guess we'll try something else.
Finni: Oookay then, we'll just use some good old-fashioned physics and RATTLE my heart by giving it a good thwack. Laxi, smack me as hard as you can!
Laxi: ▷What?! You can't do that! That's such a violent metho—◁ Understood. I will deliver a powerful but non-lethal impact to your heart.
Finni: OOOPH! That should definitely do the trick...
Finni: *sigh* It hasn't jogged my memory in the slightest. Dammit! Did we blow it again?!
Finni: *pant* *pant* We've tried so many things and have nothing to show for it.
Laxi: A fruitless effort. I conclude that this day was spent utterly in vain.
Finni: Sadly, I think you're right. Bah. For having a damaged heart, my body sure is sturdy.
Laxi: ▷You say that like it's a bad thing. I really do understand how you feel, but I think we ought to give it a rest for now, Finni.◁
Finni: Say, Laxi? Eirene can read other androids' memories. What about you?
Laxi: I have never attempted it, so I don't know. That being said, I can attempt to do so. ▷Finni... You can't mean...◁
Finni: I do. Read my memories. I can't go on wondering if Eirene is hiding something from me.
Laxi: ▷Are you sure about this? Even if it means we'll be probing into your past?◁
Finni: I'm not exactly thrilled by the idea, but we're out of options. Please, just do it.
Laxi: Very well. Commencing with intent to procure targeted memories.
Finni: Ngh... I-it burns! My heart is getting so hot it feels like it's going to explode!
Finni: Aaaaaaah!
Finni: (From the second I started dreaming, I knew without a doubt that this dream was different from the others.)
Eirene: Finni! Finni! No! NO! Don't leave me!
Eirene: Don't leave me all alone!
Finni: (Recollection after recollection began flooding into my mind.)
Finni: (Everything about the me who wasn't me. And everything about the day she met her end.)
Eirene: What...? Finni's heart is shining. It's so badly damaged, but if it's reacting like this, then it must still be...
Eirene: If I transplant it into one of those general soldier-type models there, perhaps she might start functioning again.
Androids: ......
Eirene: All of them have been laid to waste by the Other...but all I need is one. Just one whose body is in at least somewhat decent condition...
Eirene: There! Okay, Finni. I'm going to transplant your heart into this body.
Eirene: So please...come back to me, my partner.
Finni: *gasp* That...that was...
Laxi: Was that from a thousand years ago?
Finni: That was the day I... No, the day SHE was destroyed.
Finni: She was a leader unit—an android built more than a thousand years ago.
Finni: In the war with Morsayati, she was seriously damaged, but Eirene couldn't accept it.
Finni: That's when Eirene made a choice. She extracted the heart, which had somehow survived, and transplanted it into a mass-produced android body.
Finni: But it didn't quite work. When the android rebooted, it lost its original memories, and its personality changed.
Finni: And that android...is me.
Laxi: ▷That...that's something else.◁
Finni: Tell me, Laxi. Mascula. Do you think I've always been a substitute for her?
Finni: The calm and logical leader unit Finni, I mean. Do you think Eirene looks after me because she misses the Finni I used to be?
Laxi: I can't say one way or the other. Only she knows the answer to that.
Finni: I can't see how it could be anything else. When she transplanted the heart, Eirene was desperate.
Finni: Eirene wanted the other me to come back to her. And that means I've royally screwed up in a way I can never unscrew.
Finni: I couldn't even conceive the first thing about how she felt. All this time, I've been such a thoughtless idiot.
Laxi: ......
Finni: Where do I even begin to make amends...?
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