Emma Tolkin

Reviews tagged ‘feed-me-the-slop’ by Emma Tolkin Patron

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  • Maleficent

    Maleficent 2014

    ★★★½ Watched 18 Jul 2024

    WEAPONS GRADE CRUSH ON THAT RAVEN

  • Rebel Moon – Part One: A Child of Fire

    Rebel Moon – Part One: A Child of Fire 2023

    ★★½ Watched 19 Apr 2024

    I don’t care at all about the main characters or their “journey” or “plight” or whatever but this movie is CHOCK FULL of freaky n’ goopy little unexplained background aliens and sick, vaguely religious masked henchmen and an Anthony Hopkins droid (with armor that looks like the fancy thank you cards we had in the gift drawer growing up) that has given up killing for flower crowns and that’s honestly all I ever want from a star war!!! GIMME GOOPY GUYS AND I’M HAPPY!

    UPDATE 4/30/24: I just found out this is not, in fact, a Star War?!???? Whatever, still had fun!

  • Dark Phoenix

    Dark Phoenix 2019

    ★★½ Watched 31 Dec 2023

    Feed me the slop!!! I’m so easy to please when it comes to X-Men movies. A bad Marvel movie I can’t abide but a bad one of these boys and I’m like who cares it was pretty and/or weird looking people blowing shit up with their minds. A good time. But not nearly enough Quicksilver!! Also every X-Men movie is just Charles Xavier holding a spray bottle to Magneto and saying BAD ERIK! SIT! STAY! DOWN BOY! in a firm, loving tone.

  • X-Men: Apocalypse

    X-Men: Apocalypse 2016

    ★★★★ Watched 30 Dec 2023

    A whole movie to explain why Charles went bald.

    Stupid fun!!! Also, next time I get a massage I’m gonna show the masseuse a picture of supersized Apocalypse punching tiny Professor X in the back in their mind palace and ask for that kind of pressure.

  • Beautiful Creatures

    Beautiful Creatures 2013

    ★★★★ Watched 02 Nov 2023

    I wish this had gone on for 10 hours and I’m not sorry

  • The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones

    The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones 2013

    ★★½ Watched 02 Nov 2023

    ✿.｡.:* ☆:**:. 𝓘 𝓴𝓷𝓸𝔀 𝓹𝓮𝓸𝓹𝓵𝓮 𝔀𝓱𝓸 𝓾𝓼𝓮 𝓼𝓾𝓫𝓽𝓮𝔁𝓽 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓽𝓱𝓮𝔂'𝓻𝓮 𝓪𝓵𝓵 𝓶𝓾𝓷𝓭𝓪𝓷𝓮𝓼  .:**:.☆*.:｡.✿

    Like 20 minutes in my friend asked me if I knew the lore behind this movie and I was like “what, was it originally Supernatural fanfic?” and she goes “CLOSE! GINNY/HARRY INCEST FANFIC!” and like oh my god of course. Of fucking course. It’s the fic-iest shit I’ve ever seen and I’ve seen some fic-y shit.

    Adore that after they find out they’re (supposedly) siblings, the movie…

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