back to article Sweden's 'Doomsday Prep for Dummies' guide hits mailboxes today

Residents of Sweden are to receive a handy new guide this week that details how to prepare for various types of crisis situations or wartime should geopolitical events threaten the country. The "If crisis or war comes" [PDF] guide received its first update in six years and its distribution to every Swedish household begins …

  1. JT_3K

    Can anyone else here the jingle for "Protect and Survive"?

    1. MyffyW Silver badge

      That sinister electro-ear-worm, with the circle wrapping itself around the husband, wife and 2.4 children? Yep, heard it, recalled it and shuddered at the thought that anyone could think a full nuclear exchange is survivable.

    2. tony72

      Can't remember the jingle, but I just about remember us getting the leaflets when I was a kid. The good old days, eh?

  2. I am David Jones Silver badge
    FAIL

    No mention of underpants and pencils?

    1. MyffyW Silver badge
    2. Lee D Silver badge

      No way, did you hear what Melchett did to the last guy that tried that on?

  3. Mentat74
    Trollface

    'Doomsday Prep for Dummies' guide...

    And It basically says : You're bork bork borked....

    1. Paul Crawford Silver badge
      Trollface

      Re: 'Doomsday Prep for Dummies' guide...

      (1) Put your hands over your ears, (2) put your head between your legs, and (3) kiss your arse goodbye...

      1. Bebu sa Ware
        Windows

        Re: 'Doomsday Prep for Dummies' guide...

        A one pager as you suggested:

        6. ... böj dig och placera ditt huvud stadigt mellan dina ben ... 7.kyssa sedan din rumpa hejdå.

        Please don't blame me for the Swedish it's all rather more Greek to me than Greek was to Casca. The kudos are all Google Translate's

    2. b0llchit Silver badge
      Joke

      Re: 'Doomsday Prep for Dummies' guide...

      Shouldn't that read "You're borg borg borged..."?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: 'Doomsday Prep for Dummies' guide...

        https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Swedish_Chef

  4. PB90210 Bronze badge

    "(Finland's) contents are largely identical to Sweden's, however, also noting that cyberattacks, IT outages, and payment systems could all lead to significant challenges"

    As could accessing the *online-only* document in the case of an extreme emergency!

    Well I was thinking of downloading a copy but......

    1. doublelayer Silver badge

      I'm not sure how useful the guide would be after the emergency has happened since it's mostly a prevention guide. A reaction guide that includes only maps to places you might need to go and ways to get information or supplies could be useful post-disaster. Otherwise, if there was an attack and you were able to download the prevention guide, you'd just find yourself saying things like "oh, so that's what I should have done earlier but can't do now".

    2. Korev Silver badge
      Pirate

      > "(Finland's) contents are largely identical to Sweden's, however, also noting that cyberattacks, IT outages, and payment systems could all lead to significant challenges"

      Have the Russian "Research vessels" been at it again?

  5. Eclectic Man Silver badge
    Black Helicopters

    Any mention of 'bug-out-bags'?

    There is a thriving trade in the USA for so-called 'bug-out-bags': https://edition.cnn.com/cnn-underscored/reviews/best-bug-out-bag

    Although strangely (to my mind) they rarely seem to recommend an axe, one of the most useful tools ever invented. (Mind you, you do need to know how to use one.)

    I don't have a bug out bag, but I do I have a bottle of old, single malt, whisky (Jura, since you ask).

    1. Tippis

      Re: Any mention of 'bug-out-bags'?

      They're not really a thing here, and definitely not in official material, since the whole thing ties into the "Total defence" concept which essentially states that, if shit hits the fan, just keep plugging along. Go to work, fulfil your role, continue as best you can. Bugging out means shirking your societal duties to keep everything else going. Also, bugging out means you will not receive any aid from official sources, from the community, or indeed from anyone - you're on your own and that is the best way to get yourself killed even when there was little chance of that before.

      1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

        Re: Any mention of 'bug-out-bags'?

        In lots of parts of the Western lands the weather can be sufficiently dramatic that one may need to vacate one's castle at little notice - even without barbarian invaders.

        A bag to grab if you have to leave quickly for a few days isn't unreasonable.

        1. Korev Silver badge

          Re: Any mention of 'bug-out-bags'?

          > In lots of parts of the Western lands the weather can be sufficiently dramatic that one may need to vacate one's castle at little notice - even without barbarian invaders.

          Yeah, Hadrian's wall hasn't been maintained well, I expect the Scots might come marauding again

          1. Bebu sa Ware
            Coat

            Re: Any mention of 'bug-out-bags'?

            «Yeah, Hadrian's wall hasn't been maintained well, I expect the Scots might come marauding again»

            Not that the Tories have left much to pillage.

            I imagine the Scots might reinforce the Wall to prevent Sassanach climate refugees from swamping the high(er) lands of Caledonia. From memory a great deal of England is not much above the current sea level and until relatively recent times much of the country was actually swamp. A couple of continental ice sheets go slash and the French might well be turning back the boats from across the channel.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Any mention of 'bug-out-bags'?

      Minimum bug out bag, is a good keep in the car for multiple issues. I agree with the axe,, well hatchet.

      Wool blanket (keeps warm when wet), hatchet, cut wood for fires or more. Add in a plastic tarp for rain. then anything else is a nice to have. Water filter, snacks, weed, needle and thread (wounds and cloths) surface map of the region radio,,,,. Slingshot or similar - guns can attract the wrong attention (that you have ammo). Plans for meeting family if power is out for days.

      This is good for storms, stuck on the road away from people. not just war, just good sense.

      1. Anonymous Coward Silver badge
        Thumb Up

        Re: Any mention of 'bug-out-bags'?

        I would disagree with some of your selection, but we probably live in very different regions and what is sensible where you are doesn't necessarily match what's sensible where I am. I have a selection in my car, that I've had to put to use on a couple of occasions.

        Biggest lessons to learn: cars get colder than you think quicker than you think, so wrap up even inside. And check your kit regularly - including making sure you have power in your battery packs.

    3. chivo243 Silver badge
      Trollface

      Re: Any mention of 'bug-out-bags'?

      I think I've heard them called jump bags? Or Go-bags. Bug out bags sounds like an El Reg official measurement...

      1. deceptionatd

        Re: Any mention of 'bug-out-bags'?

        Most common name I've heard in the US is bug-out bag by far. Go-bag occasionally, jump bag almost never. Just my 2¢...

        1. Eclectic Man Silver badge

          Re: Any mention of 'bug-out-bags'?

          I once did some consultancy for the RAF. They have these things called 'fly-away packs'. I immediately had the visual image of a large rucksack with wings flying off to the horizon. It seems that the idea of having a pack that holds everything a service person needs in an emergency means that a lot of them do just seem to 'fly away' of their own volition.

  6. IGotOut Silver badge

    UK version

    In the event of war, we will ask our cronies to supply substandard items at 100x the cost of quality kit.

    You must shelter in place, and follow all rules, no matter how miserable they make you. We in power do whatever the fuck we want in order to make our lives better.

  7. SidSlippers

    Call me a coward, but if they ever drop the bomb, I'd rather know when and where so I can be right under it. I've seen 'Threads' man. No thanks.

    1. Locky

      Don't over-react because of Threads, that's just what Sheffield looks like

    2. Andrew Scott Bronze badge

      We were taught how to duck and cover. Basically hiding under our school desks when the bomb dropped. pretty scary when you're 6 or 7 and told it could happen at any time.

  8. Russell Chapman Esq.

    It is worth being prepared, just in case.

    Make sure you have back-up food and water at home, first aid kit etc. Enough to keep you going for a couple of weeks.

    If anyone is interested in how to make a 3 day go-bag, I made a video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6c2DCNwVUwg

  9. may_i Silver badge

    The cold war made Sweden somewhat prepared already

    In most apartment blocks in Sweden, there is a bomb shelter in the basement. The shelter has doors which can be shut from the inside. The shelter has a filtered air vent.

    I hope I never have to use it.

    1. Korev Silver badge
      Mushroom

      Re: The cold war made Sweden somewhat prepared already

      I apparently have a place allocated in a Swiss shelter. When Mad Vlad invaded Ukraine people started asking where their places were. Apparently the authorities would walk around putting up signs telling people to go, by which time I'm sure the fallout would have already arrived...

      1. Eclectic Man Silver badge

        Re: The cold war made Sweden somewhat prepared already

        According to my (Swiss) German teacher, the law in Switzerland was that every new home was required to have a 'nuclear bunker' with proper air conditioning. This meant that they were perfect for storing large quantities of wine. So a few months after the nuclear holocaust, there will emerge millions of seriously hung-over expert yodellers*, which I am sure will be wonderful.

        *This is a wholly unwarranted slur on a fine nation, whose national hero, William Tell, was noted for being very accurate with a crossbow, rather than an Alpenhorn. I hang my bigoted head in shame. Now, please pass the Suchard Chocolate, and where is my Rolex watch?

    2. Kevin O'Rourke

      Re: The cold war made Sweden somewhat prepared already

      Unfortunately they stopped making builders include shelters in new buildings since the early 2000s. So my 2008ish apartment building has no shelter.

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Cheese in a tube?

    How barbaric! I thought they want to motivate people to survive?

    1. Anonymous Coward Silver badge
      Holmes

      Re: Cheese in a tube?

      It's to be used as a glue or possibly as bait to catch animals which you can then eat.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Cheese in a tube?

      Dad was in the TA (UK reserves) and used to bring home Compo Rations from time to time. Other prized items were condensed milk in a tube, and jam in a tube. Best things though were the boiled sweets. Sit and enjoy a blackcurrant one while watching the thermonuclear sunset... Aah the good old days.

  11. Long John Silver
    Pirate

    The UK, under that nice Mr Starmer, has this sussed

    Old Civil Defence films, e.g. showing nice, well-spoken, women preparing a lunch menu (including jam roly-poly as 'afters') for displaced survivors, are being dusted-off. 'Protect and survive' cartoons and literature await broadcast or distribution.

    However, there is a problem Britain's 'Great and Good' should be aware of before scuttling off to New Zealand. The advent of very accurate, and unstoppable, hypersonic missiles bearing high explosive 'conventional' warheads, has changed the name of the game in a manner the 'political class' and most persons at the top of military hierarchies have yet to grasp.

    Targets can be 'taken out' without the need for 'city busting' nuclear weapons or for 'tactical nukes' which inevitably have destructive overspill to surrounding territory. However, the change of circumstance runs far more deeply than that.

    No longer must innocent civilians, other than sadly a few in service to culpable civilians, be embroiled in an immediate attack, or suffer from the long-term effects of nuclear detonations. Similarly, it is not necessary for one set of military personnel to attack another; those on each side overwhelmingly are decent people, but they are in thrall (at least in the West) to a despicable 'political class' which in turn answers to shadowy 'sponsors'.

    The reasoning is simple. Politicians holding high office (along with their hidden backers) are, as a kind, responsible for all conflicts. Responsibility arises from one or more of arrogance, stupidity, personal avarice, ambition, or acting under threat from blackmailers. In the UK, plenty of names spring forth from those governing during the most recent quarter-century. The point being that they, not ordinary civilians and not the military, are the obvious canker giving rise to conflicts. Long ago, political leaders (e.g. kings) took to the field of battle. Despite being surrounded by stalwart subjects, these figures did put their lives on the line. In the context of modern Britain, there is nobody in a position of political power (or recently so) obviously willing to do other than let 'expendable' people make 'sacrifice'; after all, their supposedly statesmanlike qualities are too precious to place at risk.

    Now the tables are easily turned. A power possessing hypersonic 'conventional' weapons easily can target organ grinders instead of monkeys. All that's necessary is to keep track of the whereabouts of 'notable' people and their families. It's necessary to include immediate families (e.g. children and perhaps grandchildren) on the target list because (almost) even the worst among our kakistocracy is under a deep biological imperative to protect offspring. Should any be cowering in private bunkers in New Zealand, their whereabouts would be known and suitable bunker-busters could be selected from the armoury.

    Wouldn't instant political decapitation (plus obliteration of key parasitic financial figures) of a nuclear power lead to an immediate response using the power's nuclear deterrent? In the case of the UK, that's exceedingly unlikely. Although, technically, for a while the UK would be a headless chicken, only that element of the military command and the civil service in proximity to targetted figures would die. If the precaution were taken of obliterating Parliament when in session (assembly governments too), the truly skilled element of the former 'establishment' could unopposed assume command. These people would be aware that the strike had been limited, non-nuclear, and not truly ruinous to the nation. At worst, a constrained attempt at tit-for-tat would be attempted. Unleashing nuclear deterrent weapons is only vengeance, empty at that, and the prelude to total destruction.

    1. sitta_europea Silver badge

      Re: The UK, under that nice Mr Starmer, has this sussed

      I kinda like the idea that anybody who says we should go to war should be taken out behind the bike sheds and eviscerated.

      1. Flywheel

        Re: The UK, under that nice Mr Starmer, has this sussed

        I firmly believe that (y)our glorious leaders should actually physically fight each other to sort out disputes that would normally lead to conflict war, and no subsitutes! Don't get us citizens involved in your squabbles!

    2. Benegesserict Cumbersomberbatch Silver badge

      Re: The UK, under that nice Mr Starmer, has this sussed

      They wouldn't be wise to choose NZ for their hideout. They still believe in the rule of law over there. They also have some robust war crimes statutes, including extraterritoriality.

POST COMMENT House rules

Not a member of The Register? Create a new account here.

  • Enter your comment

  • Add an icon

Anonymous cowards cannot choose their icon

Other stories you might like