This article is just....
...is just grating.
Steven R
(Sorry)
After Caerphilly considering its position, Quebec's French-language watchdog has decided it doesn't give edam about its linguistic ban on using "anglicisms" such as "grilled cheese", a move that has been welcomed as gouda news. A number of English words whose francophone equivalents have never been adopted by québécois folk …
The only one I didn't get was "welcomed as gouda news". All the others were delightfully amusing.
Cheese jokes are always very funny though. My favourite is : what sort of cheese do you use to hide a horse?
I'll leave it to you lot to provide the correct punchline.
What’s the best cheese to hide a horse?
Mascarpone...
What’s the best cheese to coax a bear out of a tree?
Camembert...
What did the cheese say when it looked in the mirror?
Haloumi...
How did the cheese maker paint his wife?
He Double Gloucester...
How do you cross a welsh minefield?
Caerphilly...
And what happens if you don’t cross a welsh minefield Caerphilly?
You get de Brie everywhere...
A cheese toasty is different from toasted cheese, grilled cheese, cheese on toast or Welsh Rarebit. I think. I'm pretty sure that if I was asked to do a cheese toasty, I'd do it in a toasted sandwich maker rather than sticking something under the grill.
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You're right. This story is a croque monsieur of shit.
Once they blue right through the puns in the first few lines, everyone was board - and yet there was stiltons left to read. After all the effort, I'm cream-crackered - so I cheddar brie off to bed.
Nothing else like a good grilled cheese sandwich for me. Two slices of sourdough, a schmear of freshly made mayonnaise on each slice, and two or three slices of Kraft American cheese (I can't hear you laughing, but I know you are. It's *my* comfort food.) Any more cheese precipitates a detailed beard cleaning. Once butter sizzles in the cast iron pan, center the sandwich in the pool of butter and cook until toasted. Same for the other side.
I'm taking lunch early!
UK grilled = US broiled
But all toasted cheese sarnies should be made in a toastie-maker. Hence they'd be croque monsieur's in french, surely?
Cheese on toast is fine - but one sided. Toasting two bits of bread and slapping cheese between them is always disappointing, better to just have 2 slices of cheese on toast.
"But, just to confuse us right-pondians, a US grill is also a sort of flat, hotplate where things like eggs and bacon are fried."
Or burgers. In the student cafeteria where (and when) I was at Uni, they could generally coax a four foot high sheet of flame out of a couple of burgers(1) on such a grill. It made ordering lunch a bit more entertaining than you'd normally expect.
(1) I'm left wondering if that makes them flambéed rather than fried, but no brandy(2) was involved.
(2) For solid amusement value, watch an expert making Crêpes Suzette, especially if he can hold the pan in one hand and light the brandy without using the other hand and *without* putting the pan down.
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I remember reading a few years ago how to fined an Italian restaurant for daring to use the word pasta... you know like everyone else on the planet even the french in France....
Let see if it is okay to say pasta instead of Pâtes... hey maybe they should have done what Starbucks did and call them self "Le Starbucks". So I guess Le cheese, Le beer, Le thank you is good enough to fool them why legitimize those evil non-French words... or should I say Quebecois, since if you know that culture you know they have a hate on for France french.
One has to understand Canadian Cheddar to truly grasp the curd here. Mes amis quebecois have been positively military in their defence of bad french. Croque monsieur would not have been unacceptable to them, but if one used the english term grilled cheese they came up with that abomination in french. But most modern quebecois still ask for fries with their grilled cheese and beer.
And sorry, done properly one uses a stainless steel pan, low heat and one butters both sides of the bread, NOT the pan, two 1/8" thick slices of *real* cheddar and some cracked black pepper.
And who in the name of ${FOODEITY} contaminates a good cheddar with eggs and oil?
If its put on a press and squashed you've killed the wonder of the chrunch/mush/goosh combination.
Now, grilled cheese, poutine and beer on the deck. Sounds like a wonderful lunch break.
"And sorry, done properly one uses a stainless steel pan, low heat and one butters both sides of the bread, NOT the pan, two 1/8" thick slices of *real* cheddar and some cracked black pepper."
You got the pan and the butter correct, but CHEDDAR??? Nah. A real grilled cheese is made with AMERICAN... :) Cheddar is only to be used if the American was consumed before next shopping day. My personal favorite is a nice habanero cheese. Brie can do in a pinch, but it's too mild. Deeply aged Bleu Cheese is absolutely wonderful! There is one Bleu Cheese I've had shipped from Ireland that is quite yummy.
"Please don't judge us based on Quebec.... *whispers* they're a bit crazy..."
In some cases, they are to the French as certain Boston, Mass people are to the Irish. So ultra patriotic to their heritage that they missed the bit where the "mother country" evolved over time out of the rose-tinted past the ex pats "remember".
EDIT. I just remembered, a colleague of mine went to Quebec a few years ago. After many misunderstandings, he decided it was easier to speak English. After that, everything went fine. My mate? Yeah, he's French.
My flatmate is French, and spent a year in Canada. She agrees that Canadians can't actually speak French. Apparently their accent is atrocious, and as this article demonstrates, they have a habit of inventing new words that even L'Académie française thinks are pointless.
Mind you, dare I suggest that the French can be a trifle picky over other people's French speaking? After all, we may not like the way the Americans butcher our language, but at least we don't pretend we can't understand them.
Whatever the topic, I dearly love to see self-important Guardians Of All That Is Genuine going apeshit trying to prevent changes to living systems from an arbitrary Point In Time. I imagine them on the beach, desperately shoring up the sand castle they built as the uncaring tide overtakes them. Be sure to swim with the current when that last tower falls!
I tell you Grog, words with more than one sound, they source of evil. One sound each word is good to say what you want. Cave of Barg's Clan make new words with two... sill ab buls they call them. Those words not pure, not True Clan, we no speak. We talk this way for all time!
"I imagine them on the beach, desperately shoring up the sand castle they built as the uncaring tide overtakes them."
Precisely! The Office québécois de la langue française's rules were already (no doubt) being widely flouted by the unwashed masses.
Choice A was to do nothing, continuing to be irrelevant and increasingly ignored. Choice B was to 'crack down' on 'violators' until they conform! I believe they've tried that and it don't work so well. At least, it has 'down sides.'
So they went with Choice C and decriminalized the populace in general. Wise indeed, particularly for a government office. Now they can attempt to hold the remaining trenches, for a while...
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