back to article Beta driver turned heads in the hospital

"I hope you are well" is a standard but hopeless way to open an email – who, save for a few sociopaths, wishes illness and misery upon their correspondents? Silly question – every Reg reader knows that users and managers often seem to wish only the worst for their IT colleagues. Which is why every Friday we deliver a cathartic …

  1. wolfetone Silver badge

    The doctor was/is on to something. Coding, or any sort of word processing, is best done on a portrait monitor.

    But look at us here still going around with landscape devices like utter mugs. Except, of course, for those of you who already know this and are reading this comment on a portrait monitor.

    1. Phil O'Sophical Silver badge

      These days I prefer multiple side-by-side portrait windows on a pair of landscape monitors.

      1. Gerhard den Hollander

        I prefer multiple monitors, one of which is in portrait mode, the rest in landscape ...

        Whenever people in the office got a new monitor, IT was kind enough to donate the (now) spare monitor to me, so I now have 4 of them on my desk.

        Not yet terry pratchett level, but quite handy and useful

        1. Scott 26

          In my previous job I had 7 monitors on my desk, and when I was (always) asked "Why do you have 7 monitors?" I would replied "To quote the late great Sir Terry Pratchett 'Because I haven't found a way to install an 8th'"

      2. M.V. Lipvig Silver badge

        I do the opposite, as I have 3 portrait monitors upon which I use everything in landscape. It's like having 6 monitors. Initially I set up like this when I started working from home because my home desk would not accommodate my monitors in portrait, but now I find it easier to keep track of everything. Before I had set things in each monitor that I toggled through as needed but now they're all just right there in front of me.

    2. Mishak Silver badge

      Yep - I do a lot of editing of publications, and it is much easier when you can see a whole page at close to full size.

      In the past I used a Dell monitor that could rotate to portrait mode, and my new one also does the same. However, the new one is much larger, and I now prefer working "two up" so I can seen recto and verso at the same time (with both zoomed to about 125%) and have space for toolbars and the like.

      1. Bebu
        Windows

        "it is much easier when you can see a whole page at close to full size."

        Always wanted something like the large e-ink monitors (eg BOOX Mira pro 25"). Almost everything I do on a computer as against a tablet involves looking at text for quite long periods so e-ink works fine even for editing (vi) - even man pages render faster than they did on a decent dialup connection.

        The thing which was still really a dream 30 years ago was handwritten text entry, snuck up on me. :) Fairly low priced android tablets supporting pen input are surprisingly good.

        A4 (and larger) e-ink tablets with pen support are already a thing with colour e-ink on the way. It took more than 50+ years for Dick Tracy watch phones to be feasible, 20 odd years for Douglas Adam's Hitchhikers Guide (an e-reader with a single title ;) to be realized, so I expect realistic paper like displays with excellent handwriting input before the cataracts get me. ;)

    3. mikecoppicegreen

      for documentation, I tend to have two or three portrait windows open on a 4k landscape format monitor, with loads of other windows (email, browsers, etc) around the edge!

      4k monitors have saved me forests of print over the last few tears.

      1. Flightmode

        I used to do the two-slightly-different-monitors-side-by-side for many years; but recently my employer sprung for a 49" ultra-wide, curved monitor capable of 5120 x 1440 pixels for me. When writing, and especially editing, documentation I can fit up to six Word pages at 100% next to each other on a single screen; which is great! Also for other use cases, not having a thick bezel in the middle or the slight height offset is a boon. The only thing that was better with separate monitors is screen sharing in MS Teams - people complain about not being able to read things when I accidentally share my whole screen and they are on a 13" laptop...

        1. WonkoTheSane

          Those monitors are spreading across our company too.

          My office uses them for CAD duties, others have asked for them so they can see ALL the columns on an Excel sheet.

          1. Giles C Silver badge

            All 65000 columns? that is a big monitor if the cells were used for numbers and set to 2cm wide then you need a 130000cm or 1.3km wide screen.

            Strange people

            1. Flightmode

              On my screen, a maximized default Excel spreadsheet at 100% shows columns A through BR (and about a third of BS*), so 70 1/3 columns. (58 2/3 lines visible with the expanded ribbon.)

              *) Like most of what's presented in Excel, about 2/3 BS.

              1. Arthur the cat Silver badge
                Trollface

                Like most of what's presented in Excel, about 2/3 BS.

                Ooh look, an optimist!

            2. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

              "if the cells were used for numbers and set to 2cm wide then you need a 130000cm or 1.3km wide screen."

              That immediately brought to mind The 5000 Fingers of Dr T

              I don't think I've ever seen it since I was a very young child it when it scared the bejeezus out of me at the time!

              1. An_Old_Dog Silver badge

                Scary Movie

                Yeah, I had nightmares about that one. Day of the Triffids and Invasion of the Bodysnatchers were the other two.

                1. Anonymous Coward
                  Anonymous Coward

                  Re: Scary Movie

                  oh yes, the intro on Day of the Triffids (assuming you mean the BBC one, of course) - the music and the visuals - was very haunting...

                2. Death Boffin
                  Alien

                  Re: Scary Movie

                  Parts of Invasion of the Body Snatchers were filmed in the town I grew up in. So a trip downtown could be quite interesting.

              2. Bebu
                Windows

                The 5000 Fingers of Dr T

                "scared the bejeezus out of me"

                Dr Phibes did it for me.

                The head of a unicorn propelled across a room (and street) and impaling the good doctors victim is an enduring memory. :)

        2. Old Used Programmer

          And here I remember when having a *flat* display was a top-of-the-line option (instead of one that bulged toward to user).

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Rotating a laptop on end does make using the keyboard rather problematic...

      1. Dave314159ggggdffsdds Silver badge

        Only if you're daft enough to use the built-in torture device masquerading as a keyboard.

        1. Antron Argaiv Silver badge
          Thumb Up

          Greetings, friend!

          Laptop stays under the monitor stand, while I use the mouse and AT-101 keyboard that God intended. Clicky keys rule!

          1. An_Old_Dog Silver badge

            PS/2 -> USB Adaptors and Clicky Keyboards

            Buy and hoard high-quality PS/2 -> USB converters where and when you can, as good ones are rare as hens' teeth and lousy ones abound. IBM Model M keyboards are now rare.

    5. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

      It depends entirely on what you're using. Plain vi - maybe portrait is OK providing it doesn't sacrifice line length. IDE's I've seen tend to have various panels, toolboxes or whatever lined up side-by-side for which landscape is ideal, otherwise you might end up with a line length of about 30 chars for your code. But even it you're just using plain vi you may well want some sort of reference material in view so that's either a second monitor or two portrait windows side-by-side on a landscape display.

      For almost anything I do landscape works out best to cope with several windows open at any one time.

    6. John Sager

      Many windows on a landscape screen, with 5 virtual desktops to spread them out on - this on Xubuntu. Of course us hard cases have multiple terminal windows on different virtual laptops too. Then you can resize windows to whatever aspect ratio you desire.

      1. Robert Carnegie Silver badge

        A "virtual laptop" is a new thing to me, is it something that you get in the Metaverse? So you wear the monitor goggles and you type on a keyboard which isn't actually there or something like that...

    7. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      When I used software that worked better in portrait mode I wanted to have one of my monitors in portrait mode and the other in landscape for other things. Sadly the powers that be had decided to lock all the computers down and whilst you rotate the monitors you couldn’t rotate the desktop output to match. I had to go and argue my case with the head of IT who had instituted the policies. It was surprisingly made a lot easier when I found out that the deputy head of IT support used the same software. Even easier when I found out he also had his setup like I wanted mine and he was very sympathetic.

    8. An_Old_Dog Silver badge

      Display Orientation

      Yes, portrait mode for doc editing, landscape mode for spreadsheets, videos, etc.

      I had a large-format, rotatable flat panel made by HP. Under MS-Windows, I was able to simply rotate the monitor 90 degrees, and the display would update. Rather than muck with MS-Windows drivers in Linux (via WINE), I just wrote a couple of custom xrandr lines and put them into my pdmenu menu definition file.

    9. J.G.Harston Silver badge

      It's worse than that, landscape displays are getting wider and wider and wider and wider, and Teh Webs are obsessed with it. With command tabs at the top and status info at the bottom, you end up looking through a one-inch high letterbox.

      If you want to stretch as wide as possible, put your bloody control functions along the damn side, so the valuable uppy-downy real estate is usable! Dammit this paragraph in this posting occupies a SINGLE LINE!

      1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

        Try resizing your windows to something more appropriate.

        1. J.G.Harston Silver badge

          But I can't make my display as tall as would make the contents visible.

          Even zooming out doesn't fix it, as as well as the content becoming too small to read, the sites re-size their window furniture to make it fill the same absolute amount of real estate as before.

  2. b0llchit Silver badge
    Childcatcher

    A doctor powering up his computer with his head tilted on the side like a confused dog...

    That would also nicely explain the tilted computer knowledge held by these doctors: skewed beyond repair(*).

    (*) statement extrapolated from first-hand experience.

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    ctrl-alt-arrow and ... cats

    Reminds me of the ctrl-alt-arrow trick. Since no normal user would ever contemplate rotating their laptop screen, I was, like most unaware a highly stupid key combination would do that.

    And BE PERSISTENT TO REBOOTS FFS !

    One day, one local cat walked on my kb and rotated it by 90 degrees.

    I swear, it took me 15 mins of reboots, swearing etc ... to recover the laptop. Whoever at MS who was accomplice to this should burn forever in hell.

    It seems not working any longer, though. Good riddance !

    1. Mark #255
      Mushroom

      Re: ctrl-alt-arrow and ... cats

      Do direct your ire appropriately - the shortcut was a quirk of the Intel graphics driver

    2. Jou (Mxyzptlk) Silver badge

      Re: ctrl-alt-arrow and ... cats

      > Whoever at MS who was accomplice to this should burn forever in hell.

      You meow at the wrong dog. That keyboard shortcut is part of the driver. Most well known Intel, until they removed that shortcut a few years ago. Not M$ to blame here!

      1. phuzz Silver badge
        Trollface

        Re: ctrl-alt-arrow and ... cats

        They disabled the shortcut, but you can still enable it via the driver control panel. While someone is away from their desk for a few minutes for example....

        1. J. Cook Silver badge

          Re: ctrl-alt-arrow and ... cats

          ... which is why you lock your workstation when you leave it, even for only a couple minutes.

          1. Jou (Mxyzptlk) Silver badge

            Re: ctrl-alt-arrow and ... cats

            Seconds, not minutes.

          2. Martin-73 Silver badge
            Pint

            Re: ctrl-alt-arrow and ... cats

            Yup, i do not do IT for work, mostly, but as sparkies we use laptops at the pub office for the necessary 'paper'work. I lock my laptop when going to the bar. Trust nobody

            1. Robert Carnegie Silver badge

              Re: ctrl-alt-arrow and ... cats

              This raises the issue of how to lock your beer when unattended, I mean your coffee.

              The (once?) famous "Evil Overlord List" has advice applicable to the situation, but expensive - on the lines of, if you have to leave the table which you are sharing with an enemy, then don't try to work out when you come back which of the drinks is now the poisoned one, just order another round.

      2. Bebu
        Big Brother

        Re: ctrl-alt-arrow and ... cats

        《You meow at the wrong dog. That keyboard shortcut is part of the driver. Most well known Intel, until they removed that shortcut a few years ago. Not M$ to blame here!》

        The poetic justice of punishing a persistent miscreant for a misdeed they *didn't* commit can partially compensate for the myriad they *did*.

  4. KittenHuffer Silver badge

    Only 2.5 years in the NHS ....

    .... but I could relate the following stories.

    The doctor (surgeon) who trashed a PCMCIA card (and messed up the slot on the laptop) because he wanted to take it out and look at it. Except instead of using the eject button/switch/slidey thing, he used a set of forceps!!!! The PCMCIA card looked very foxed, and the slot in the lappy only slightly foxed.

    The clinician who demanded a quad speed CDROM drive when they came out because the twin speed drive he already had wasn't fast enough. Only for the tech who visited to fit the new drive discovering that the original twin speed drive wasn't even connected to the PSU in that PC!!!!

    The rollout of a large number of PCs as data gathering terminals .... which had been stacked in the office for two years because they had to be bought when the budget was available, and not when the rollout was actually going to happen. Meaning that they could have been bought for half the price if they had waited, and the machines would have been in warranty when unboxed so the usual 3-5% DOA machines could have been replaced.

    1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

      Re: Only 2.5 years in the NHS ....

      "because they had to be bought when the budget was available"

      That's standard public sector accounting and maybe some private sector places as well. If only they'd let you spend the budget on gold bars until it's really needed....

      1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

        Re: Only 2.5 years in the NHS ....

        I once proposed that for a physics project (ironically half under Switzerland)

        We had £30K in this years budget for a crane we never needed.

        Gold was in the stores catalogue, so I suggested we buy some, bury it in the basement and then sell it next year !

        In the end we did the logical/illegal thing, we bought a £30K spectrum analyser for another group and they covered our travel expenses next year

        1. Robert Carnegie Silver badge

          Re: Only 2.5 years in the NHS ....

          I think I may be about to remember what a virement is. I'll let you know the outcome.

          1. Robert Carnegie Silver badge

            Re: Only 2.5 years in the NHS ....

            ...No. ;-)

            No, wait. It is coming back, now. Aargh!

      2. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

        Re: Only 2.5 years in the NHS ....

        "That's standard public sector accounting and maybe some private sector places as well."

        Yes, the twisted "logic" is that if you didn't spend all your budget this year, you can make do with that much less next year. So there's always pressure near the end of the financial year to spend the money on $something, just to make sure you don't get a cut in next years budget, whether you actually need $something or not. The "trick" is to stock up on stuff you'll need next year anyway in the same budget area you expect to need more money for other stuff next year.

    2. Arthur the cat Silver badge

      Re: Only 2.5 years in the NHS ....

      Except instead of using the eject button/switch/slidey thing, he used a set of forceps!!!!

      Good job he didn't try a caesarian.

      1. Benegesserict Cumbersomberbatch Silver badge

        Re: Only 2.5 years in the NHS ....

        Yeah, because when the CTG shows variable decels, what you really need is someone from IT.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Only 2.5 years in the NHS ....

      "...tech who visited to fit the new drive discovering that the original twin speed drive wasn't even connected to the PSU in that PC!!!!"

      Hopefully the tech

      1) connected the power cable on the existing drive.

      2) put a "4X" sticker on the existing drive.

      3) installed the actual quad speed drive on his own pc for "testing and calibration"

    4. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

      Re: Only 2.5 years in the NHS ....

      "wasn't even connected to the PSU in that PC!!!!"

      Yep. A university where "a Very Important Person" needed the floppy drive fixed ASAP because it was vital to carry out his job. Except the "faulty" one had never even been connected internally

      "stacked in the office for two years because they had to be bought when the budget was available"

      A local council bought 2500 PC and stacked them up in a warehouse unit and allocated a small number of people to build and deploy them while the economy was good and the prices were low. It took 5 years to get any where near the end of the deployment, and DOAs were long past the "replace it" stage and even starting to go past the 5 year warranty when a financial downturn happened, the one before the current one, or maybe the one before that, the council started making people redundant/not filling leavers posts and they had 100's of PCs "spare" and not enough people to deploy them to.

    5. Bebu
      Coat

      Re: Only 2.5 years in the NHS ....

      "Except instead of using the eject button/switch/slidey thing, he used a set of forceps!!!!"

      Breech presentation?

      Sound like the pcmia card suffered terminal birth trauma.

      I have only encountered "foxed" in this sense referring to books but I assume by extension and possibly understatement it is applied here. The medico was clearly foxed by the method required to eject the pcmia card. :)

      1. Caver_Dave Silver badge
        Facepalm

        Re: Only 2.5 years in the NHS ....

        I was once travelling with a hospital consultant in his car. It started spluttering - obviously to me it seemed like a fuel starvation problem.

        Honestly, he got out and look at the exhaust pipe, but then he was a Proctologist!

    6. Juan Inamillion

      Re: Only 2.5 years in the NHS ....

      >The doctor (surgeon) who trashed a PCMCIA card (and messed up the slot on the laptop) because he wanted to take it out and look at it. Except instead of using the eject button/switch/slidey thing, he used a set of forceps!!!!

      Could have been even messier if he'd have been a gynaecologist...

  5. CT

    45 degrees for a jolly jape

    Oh the fun to be had when the graphic designer was away from their desk by turning a Radius Pivot to 45° and moving all the desktop icons to a jumble in the bottom corner as if they'd all slid down there.

    1. M.V. Lipvig Silver badge

      Re: 45 degrees for a jolly jape

      I remember there being a Windows thing, decades ago, that would do the same. Screen saver or virus or lock thing, been too long now, but it would make everything on the screen fall off and hit the bottom of the screen.

  6. Sam not the Viking Silver badge

    Monitors need monitoring

    We had a very supercilious salesman who complained his monitor was broken and he wanted a new one. Better. Now.

    It was one of those monitors with the on/off switch under the screen.......

    Fortunately, he didn't stay with us long.

    1. KittenHuffer Silver badge

      Re: Monitors need monitoring

      "Monitors need monitoring"! But who monitors the monitors of the monitors?!? Or is it monitors all the way down?

      1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

        Re: Monitors need monitoring

        It's always the knob that works the monitor that needs fixing.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Monitors need monitoring

          Ticket this week: 'computer won't turn on'

          It wouldn't turn on, because they'd jabbed the power button so hard it had broken inside.

          Although, that's more HP's fault for designing a fragile power button, than the user's.

          1. The Oncoming Scorn Silver badge
            Pint

            Re: Monitors need monitoring

            Returning users from holiday, complaining that their PC\Monitor is dead, logging a call, manager escalating it.

            The in-house support team visit, say it's HW, send the call to the IT Service Centre (Wooden Hut in the staff car park behind Somerset County Hall.

            Which drops in my queue just as I'm going to lunch, back from lunch have yet another escalation demand "I Can't work I need this fixed NOW I have a backlog!".

            So that prompts the usual response of make a cup of tea & drink it for dutch courage before I face the customer.

            Walk up to Social Services for the fourth time that month for the same issue, listen to the bleatings & complaints oof why it's taken 6 hours to get me there to fix it as I turn on the power switch at the back of the monitor that they turned off before going on holiday.

            Is that all it was?

            Yes.

            Ohhhhh I remember doing that before I went away.

            Thinks to self "If only you'd remembered that 6 hours ago"

            Goes off to put it in call closure notes.

            1. David 132 Silver badge
              Thumb Up

              Re: Monitors need monitoring

              Could be worse - on a subreddit I follow, someone who's a mobile heavy equipment mechanic recently posted a tale of the time he was called out to a construction earthmover that wouldn't start. Customer screaming, job unable to proceed, etc etc.

              So he drove for two hours to the customer's jobsite... moved the machine's gearshifter out of Drive (interlocks prevent start when in gear) and into Neutral, started it without problem, and got back in his car to drive two hours back.

              And did, at least, get to bill the customer the ID10T tax of 5 hour's callout charge.

            2. An_Old_Dog Silver badge

              Wooden Huts

              For a while, one of our IT hardware project groups was emplaced into four "Modular Office Buildings" -- tractor-trailer-portable temporary-and-tacky shacks with insufficient power-handling capabilities for a hardware IT group -- out in the back parking lot. Fortunately, I was in software and had a real office in a real (and quite-old) building, which featured a water-powered elevator.

            3. tyrfing

              Re: Monitors need monitoring

              It's Social Services. Any backlog is make work and they know it.

          2. Richard 12 Silver badge

            Re: Monitors need monitoring

            Fragile power buttons seem pretty common these days.

            I think it's the decision to use plastic springs.

          3. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

            Re: Monitors need monitoring

            "Although, that's more HP's fault for designing a fragile power button, than the user's."

            There was a model of All-In-One we had. The microswitch for the "power" button was the same as the once inside a mouse. It was activated by a spike/plunger on the side of the case, part of the entire back of the AIO. It was actually, physically part of the plastic housing, a small stud held by two plastic S shapes. It only had to move maybe a 1/2mm or less to activate. But bloody impatient students would press again, harder, when it didn't burst into life instantly. On a good day, the spike/plunger would bend and get jammed down the side of the switch so undoing a couple of case screws and popping the corner of the back fixed it. On a bad day, the S bits snapped and a whole new back cover needed to be fitted by calling out our maintenance IT provider for a "user damage" fix that cost us.

  7. GlenP Silver badge

    Nothing New

    Back in the mid-eighties I was working at the local college (now university); PCs were starting to come in but the mainstay hardware was a Vax 11/785.

    The secretarial* classroom was equipped with Facit Twist terminals which did the same as the Radius Pivot, but of course only in character mode. I don't recall what software was being used but it did take some fettling to get it to resize to the portrait mode.

    *Senior Secs for Tom Sharpe fans, mostly "Daddy's got a BMW" types who's families had the money to support them through two years of college whilst ordinary people got jobs!

  8. ColinPa Silver badge

    Landscape/portrait

    We had an enterprise application based on a web browser which was designed to run full screen in landscape mode. Because it ran so slowly, I shrank it to about 3 inches wide, so I could do my day job while it was processing. Several times I entered lots of data, and assumed it was autosaved - because there was no save button. My boss came round and said there was no data.

    it turns out that the save button was only displayed when window was 9 inches or wider!

    I complained and got through to a developer who expressed surprise that I wasn't running landscape, and I had squashed the screen. They asked did I use the help button? This button had the same problem of not being visible. Also using the help button wiped out what you had entered.

    I was asked to talk to a group of the developers ( and their manager) about the end user experience. I was allocated an hour, and we overran. I had 50+ comments, some were basic like "What does the icon of a dog mean? It has no hover text to explain". Why do you erase all of the data? Do not just truncate the screen - use scroll bars. Why is it so slow?

    They suggested they could provide an education course on how to use it. I said providing this would be an admission of failure to design an intuitive system

    Afterwards the managed thanked me and said it was very useful talking to a real user, rather than someone just testing the application.

    1. Bill Gray

      Re: Landscape/portrait

      > Afterwards the managed thanked me and said it was very useful talking to a real user, rather than someone just testing the application.

      I'm a one-man band (write, test, sell the software, which is used by -- among others -- observers at telescopes looking for asteroids.) I talk a lot with users and sometimes _think_ I've gotten things right.

      But I remember the first time I actually went up on the mountain for a night of observing and saw my software in use and how they actually did what they do, and realized just how many stupid things I'd done. Many weren't things anybody had complained about; I just hadn't realized that people were doing X because they didn't see superior option Y. Or in other cases, that adding an option Z would be a truly excellent idea.

      i wholeheartedly concur with your point about the utility of talking with real users. I'd add to that that it's amazingly helpful to _watch_ real users in action.

      1. Old Used Programmer

        Re: Landscape/portrait

        I was once helping out as the support (is the software installed? is the network working? is everything plugged? if "yes" to all, go sit in the back of the room and wait for something to break) for the trainer to test the *training* instructions on a naive user. Because everything was working as it should, this left me to just sit and observe. The trainee was having a terrible time using the mouse. When there was a break, I went to the trainer and informed her that (a) the trainee had a death grip on the mouse and (b) the trainee appeared to trying to rotate the screen pointer by rotating the mouse. After the break, the trainer worked her way around behind the trainee and checked, then went to back to the usual spot and launched into a lecture on how the mouse worked and that you *couldn't* rotate the screen pointer. The trainer gave me very thorough thanks at the end of day for uncovering why the trainee was having so much trouble.

        1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

          Re: Landscape/portrait

          Nowadays, it's assumed that users already know how to use a computer, but that's not always the case, even for users who've been users for years. I still see people with no idea about even the most basic keyboard shortcuts. Back in the day, training someone on how to use a specific program or system, you'd assume, and base the training time/costs on the employer having already trained their users on the basics. The trainers job was to teach the users how to run WordStar, or a specific DBase based stock management system. Not to spend the first full day showing them where the power switch is, how to adjust screen brightness, what the strange and different non-alphanumeric keys were for, how to insert a floppy disk etc. Although many employers thought that actually was part of the job, until the contracted pre-requistes were pointed out to them and no, they were not getting an extra free day of basic computer use training they should have already paid for. And as most people in the training game will point out, it STILL happens today.

      2. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

        Re: Landscape/portrait

        "i wholeheartedly concur with your point about the utility of talking with real users."

        OTOH - S/W prints picking list. Users then enter the serial numbers of what's been picked. They should then print the despatch not, complete with serial numbers and "Despatch Note" printed across the top. No amount of talking with them would stop them writing the SNs on the picking list and sending it out as a despatch note.

        1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

          Re: Landscape/portrait

          Maybe the serial numbers could have been printed on the picking list and strict instructions given that they MUST pick that specific item. Or do it the proper way :-)

    2. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

      Re: Landscape/portrait

      "Do not just truncate the screen - use scroll bars."

      I just installed a backup "solution" for my BiL, who is a Windows user with no chance of saving. It got wiped off the system as soon as I realised the main GUI windows was not resizable and you had to be constantly hitting the scroll bars to see what was going on. Why would anyone choose a fixed size window for anything other than an error message "click ok to acknowledge" thing? Always let the user resize the window because you don't know what screen size, what resolution and what magnification settings they are using. Having a minimum size may be almost acceptable if making it too small will hide the important info. And NEVER have a status windows that sits right in the middle of the screen with "always on top" set when your program claims there is an error that takes 2 hours to fix!. Yeah, that backup program which BiL had installed himself went in the bin as soon as I saw it. (Samsung Autobackup if you are interested, came "free" with his 2TB USB Samsung drive)

      1. Spanners
        Pint

        Re: Landscape/portrait

        right in the middle of the screen with "always on top"

        I could have done with that setting many years ago. Our hospital had a software update forced on us by Mr Blair and a couple of civil servants happily redesigning things one weekend.

        This was in the days before network driven updates for everything and we designed the system update ourselves. It finished with the user having to do a reboot. We found that users would click on the message telling them to reboot without reading it and so we would get a lot of calls saying "this new thing doesn't work".

        Using my recently acquired VB "skills" I made a small app that went full screen, red with white writing, "This computer has been updated. Please restart it." I removed the screen furniture so they couldn't minimise or close it. They did what it asked.

        A few months later, we used the same purpose for yet another upgrade. In the meantime, our crafty users had found that <alt>+<Tab> could get the annoying message to go away. When we got the call that the application was broken, we would go to the PC and swop the message back to full screen and point to it.

        If I had been able to force it to stay on top, it would have helped (Until they discovered <alt>+<F4> anyway.)

    3. Sam not the Viking Silver badge

      Re: Landscape/portrait

      We were contracted to automate new machinery into a fairly complex system at a utility. Several old machines of differing age, era and method of operation were to be replaced by a common series. The old method of operation involved a lot of staff, 24 hour manning and was expensive. The staff were ageing and would take their knowledge of the system with them as they retired.

      The new all-singing and dancing auto-operating plant was installed, set-up, commissioned and handed over to the new customer and his much-reduced number of operators.

      I was called back within a week because the customer complained that it was grossly unstable causing excessive manual intervention. On arrival, it was true. It was a complete wave of machines starting, stopping and clearly in distress. The operators explained what was happening and how they needed someone on each machine to handle the system; it was hard work. A quick re-set of the software, selecting 'Auto' on the panel for all machines, re-start and voila: everything settled down and hummed like happy machinery ought. I had to intervene to stop the operator from 'taking over' as 'that is what we always do'..... It took a few days to convince everyone that things were working correctly and all was well.

      After that, we always made a special effort to include 'Operator Training' in our tenders. This proved a bonus as our guys got to know the operators and would visit if in the area; taking biscuits always ensured entry to the most secure installations.

  9. Prst. V.Jeltz Silver badge

    delivering an early release driver.

    "delivering an early release driver." !

    Thats a massive win!

    whoever wangled that out of the supplier is due a mars bar!

    1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

      Re: delivering an early release driver.

      It sounds more like an act of revenge against a nuisance customer.

    2. aerogems Silver badge

      Re: delivering an early release driver.

      I dunno. I briefly worked as a "customer loyalty" rep, and one person was bitching because the BIOS didn't expose the AES-IN functions on the CPU. Didn't take much effort to get an updated BIOS image that had a function for that. And this was at a racist as fuck company where I was one of the token non-master race employees. Half the time I couldn't even get people to respond to a simple email or IM message, but I got an updated BIOS image.

  10. Johnb89

    Rebooting for 5 of every 25 minutes, mind you

    The early powerPC apple laptops (which I can't tell if this was a desktop or laptop) that I had (of which several at work) had a mean time between crash of about 20 minutes, so indeed rebooting wasn't a daily thing, it was every half hour... so this rotated monitor trick would have been more annoying that is perhaps obvious.

    Totally coincidentally this was (one of) Apple's near death periods.

    1. Shred

      Re: Rebooting for 5 of every 25 minutes, mind you

      Ah yes.. the Michael Spindler era. I guess you had a PowerBook 5300 - a dog of a machine in every way possible. Most of them literally fell apart before Apple put out a rework programme to fix the many issues with case hinges and charging sockets falling off the logic board. But at least Apple’s marketing people could say it had a PowerPC processor.

  11. Joe Gurman

    I remember that driver update

    Good grief I'm old.

  12. Antron Argaiv Silver badge
    Facepalm

    Black screen

    My employer has seen fit to supply me with an HP Zbook laptop, which has the annoying "feature" that it maintains a black screen for an unnervingly long time after you have (maybe) powered it up. More than once, I have turned it off and on again before waiting long enough to get the "HP Wolf Data Security" (whatever that is) it finally deigns to display...

    How about a clue that the thing's booting, guys?

    1. David 132 Silver badge
      Thumb Up

      Re: Black screen

      I miss power LEDs, drive access LEDs, and even - OK, I'm weird - 7-segment CPU frequency/Port80 LED displays on desktops.

      1. Richard 12 Silver badge

        Re: Black screen

        But most of all I miss Ethernet activity LEDs.

        And real RJ45 jacks, instead of these USB docks and frangible fold-out things.

        1. Old Used Programmer

          Re: Black screen

          My home-brew alarm clock has both of those features. But that's because it's based on a Pi2Bv1.2.

    2. Robert Carnegie Silver badge
      Pint

      Re: Black screen

      That's wasting your expensive time, certainly. I seem to remember a story about Steve Jobs urging a programmer or an engineer to make an Apple PC boot faster, because one second saved, multiplied by the expected number of Apple users and, inevitably, the number of times you have to reboot, amounted to saving many lives.

      I think there's a "familiarity breeds contempt" factor where a device which appears to boot quickly when you get it, but to take far too long a year later, may have not actually changed, but it seems a longer time when you aren't waiting with breathless excitement any more. In this case, maybe you never were.

      Then again, maybe it's waiting for activity on the network port, or the dock, or something.

      Waiting for our electronic overlords is an experience that we all share.

      So, one possible remedy is to time exactly how long it takes to boot, and to see if that's consistent. And then you know if there's just time to brew a beverage of your choice (icon). Or, put the thing next to an old AM or FM radio, or any unshielded sound speaker. Security or not, you'll probably be able to hear what the machine is thinking.

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I worked at a hospital group

    Introducing an Electronic Health Record to replace paper notes. I'd recommended and specified laptops for those who needed them.

    All the consultants (very important people in their own head) insisted first on tablets so they could continue writing with a pen.

    The hospital got them all a then new Lenovo tablet with Wacom digitizer and stylus. They didn't like them as they realised they had to do 'some' typing.

    The hospital got them all a then new Surface 3 tablet with keyboard cover. They liked them for a while. Long enough to realise they never used the stylus and that Surfaces were awkward to use on your knee.

    6 months and lots of money later they were all using laptops.

    1. Robert Carnegie Silver badge

      Re: I worked at a hospital group

      Phase the new system in gradually, so that while the phase three people are using the Lenovo stylus tablets that they demanded, the phase two-ers have been given the Surface instead, after the phase one group handed those back and accepted laptops?

  14. Ian Johnston Silver badge

    Sorry, Reg, but this has to be the most boring "On Call" story ever. No disasters, explosions, arguments, shutdowns, just "a staff member wanted to use his monitor in both modes so I asked the makers, got a beta driver and everyone was happy".

    1. Robert Carnegie Silver badge
      Joke

      y

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      p

      a

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      '

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