This tech is solving for the problem: I am scared to say no to my child. The little @£$%
Jocasta? Jocasta! Don't ram that trolley into the man: New tech promises an end to this scenario
Finally a solution has surfaced to compensate for parents that simply refuse to say no to their little darlings: a self-braking supermarket trolley. Ever found yourself swerving out of the way of an overindulged juvenile who has commandeered a metal monster and is sweeping down the aisles at pace, only to end up shunting or …
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Sunday 28th April 2019 07:35 GMT The Oncoming Scorn
Re: I thought it was a David Nobbs reference
Tom: It's just that we like our own way of bringing them up. We treat them, not as children, but as tiny adults.
Not to mention but I will anyway, Linda's incestuous affair with Uncle Jimmy "There's been a cock-up on the catering front" Anderson as the TV series dropped some of the darker subplots from the books.
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Friday 26th April 2019 11:56 GMT Anonymous Coward
I do all my food shopping online with Ocado...
...so I never have to see your ill-disciplined, screaming, chemically-hyped, attention starved, iPad addicted kids with their stupid oh-so-middle class names.
Before you downvote me, parents, look deep into your heart and acknowledge the inadequacy and poor lifestyle choices that brought you to this.
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This post has been deleted by its author
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Friday 26th April 2019 12:10 GMT I ain't Spartacus
But... But... But...
40 years ago, that child was probably me! What's life coming to if you can't wait til Mum's back is turned then zoom the trolley off down the aisle at a run, then jump onto the wheeltops and ride your mighty metal steed to glory?
Anyway trolleys don't come equipped with brakes. Except those airport baggage ones. And this equipment will probably quadruple the cost of them, so is never going to happen. Other than that, it's a great idea...
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Sunday 28th April 2019 07:48 GMT The Oncoming Scorn
Re: But... But... But...
Did that as a charity pram push, team of three dressed in towels for nappies, racing from pub to pub drowning half a pint at each one, changing the pram (Shopping trolley) occupants towel (Or just covering in flour).
Fun times being chased up the high street by a bus, remember it well.
PH because she knows how to make babies.
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Friday 26th April 2019 12:33 GMT The Mole
Re: But... But... But...
You missed out the fact it is going to require batteries, that will need charging.
Solvable perhaps by having them as coin unlockable trolleys, with it doubling up as the power cable so you literally daisy chain them to charge? Though if they do become popular lost trolleys would provide some very interesting parts for electronic projects..
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Friday 26th April 2019 12:41 GMT ThatOne
Re: But... But... But...
The price of the system would be so high you would need a deposit to use such a trolley, and have it checked upon return for any damage before you can get your deposit back.
It would be cheaper to rent shin guards to concerned customers... Sounds more like a belated April 1st joke to me.
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Friday 26th April 2019 13:02 GMT Loyal Commenter
Re: But... But... But...
You missed out the fact it is going to require batteries, that will need charging.
Given that this only has to work when the trolley is in motion, dynamos on the wheels and a bank of capacitors should do the trick. Of course, then people are going to repurpose them to make home-made cattleprods...
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Friday 26th April 2019 13:36 GMT Mike Moyle
Re: But... But... But...
"Anyway trolleys don't come equipped with brakes. "
Not true. Not intended for slowing running children, but as theft prevention. Some stores in urban areas have shopping carts with brakes/locks in one or more wheels that get activated if taken off of store property, using a system similar to an "invisible dog fence". Around here, some people will take them to carry their groceries home and either abandon them or take them to the nearest bit of water and dump them in, so investing in the systems makes sense.
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Friday 26th April 2019 12:51 GMT Anonymous Coward
Can i claim my royalty payment?
I have argued before that actually supermarket trolleys are the perfect testbed for developing autonomous vehicles. If a trolley can cope with the chaotic environment of a supermarket - the children, the shelf stackers, the idiots agonising over the best brand of quinoa, the spill in aisle 10 - then maybe they are getting close to being capable of being let loose on a road. And while it might be annoying, when it all goes wrong the casualty is likely to be a few dented tins of baked beans, rather than a fatality. Once they graduate from the supermarket they can do a postgrad airside at a big airport (plane tugs, baggage handling, refuleling etc, radar oversight and no pesky pedestrians.). Only after successfully passing these stages should they even be allowed out on a real road with a man with a red flag walking in front.
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Friday 26th April 2019 17:16 GMT Mark 85
Re: A good use for AI?
I saw that a few weeks ago at a certain discount store (starts with the letter "W"). 4 or 5 teenage girls were using the electric disability carts as race cars. The part that hit me hard was that no employee said a word to them even the ones they ran into. WTF? Once upon a time, they would have been escorted to the manager's office, parents called, and the kinder would have been banished.
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Friday 26th April 2019 14:04 GMT TRT
Re: A good use for AI?
If it's Ford, the tyres will just fall off or explode or something.
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Friday 26th April 2019 14:40 GMT PurpleMonkeyDishwasher
Mattress Land Grab
"Other, er, useful innovations from Ford Interventions include a noise-cancelling kennel for pampered pooches, and lane-keeping beds that prevent the mattress equivalent of a land grab."
That last one might actually be useful, I have problems in the bedroom:
1. the cat does a land grab (Schlafen Raum) on my wife's pillow.
2. my wife ends up sleeping in the middle of the bed.
3. I end up sleeping on the very edge of the bed, and on one occasion actually fell out.
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Saturday 27th April 2019 16:50 GMT OssianScotland
Re: Mattress Land Grab
The dog will sleep in the middle of the bed - you will both fall out
Also (based on a collie I once had), he or she will sneak under the covers from the bottom end so if you don't fall out, you will wake up with a damp nose on the pillow beside you, and memories of some VERY strange dreams.
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Friday 26th April 2019 14:40 GMT SVV
self-braking trolley
Terrible idea. I would expect that the brakes would probably slam on at least 20 times during an average supermarket trawl, leaving your arms feeling like you've just danced with a cyberman.
Invent one that can fish itself out of canals and rivers, or just take itself back to the store after being left half a mile away and I might be impressed.
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Sunday 28th April 2019 13:35 GMT Doctor Syntax
Re: self-braking trolley
"Invent one that can fish itself out of canals and rivers, or just take itself back to the store after being left half a mile away and I might be impressed."
Tackle the problem, not the symptoms. Self-braking trolley with GPS & geofencing; won't let itself be pushed off the premises.
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Friday 26th April 2019 15:28 GMT Charles 9
If they're concerned about people getting rammed by trolleys going too fast, why not invent an in-the-wheel spring-loaded brake designed to start applying when it goes faster than a few m/s so that the trolley can't move faster than say someone at a brisk walk. No batteries would be needed, and it need not be exact.
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Monday 29th April 2019 12:19 GMT Charles 9
You have to keep it from building up any significant speed to begin with (as the mass and velocity translate into momentum). Even with a braking bar, if it's going at a running pace, the force of impact (the mass times the sudden deceleration) is still going to be too much even for padding. Sorta like how padding don't mean too much when strapped to a 300-pound man trained to still be able to run 40 yards in under five seconds.
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Monday 29th April 2019 13:10 GMT VerySlowData
Why not homing trolleys
Ford should work on trolleys that drive themselves back to the their owning supermarket, then we wouldn't have to put up with them loitering around the bus stop out the front of our house a kilometre from the shop, or in the laneway to the railway station (I refuse to say train station...)
Biting the hand that feeds IT
