Inspired by all the adorable Resurrection Gardens that are popping up all over social media, I lumbered out into the woods behind our house.

I asked Ben where he suggested looking for moss, and he calmly stated “I hate to sound smart, but the north side of a tree” So armed with bucket and a small shovel (and a compass 🤪) I began the search.

The woods are just coming alive and there’s something invigorating about wandering through them. I wished I had my nephews with me, because the project was for them- but all the moss in their neck of the woods is charred at best. Oh well, satisfied with my finds; I loaded everything up and headed to Paradise Lane.

The twins just started Sunday School and they are very enthusiastic about their Bible knowledge, so we had a brief recap over the Resurrection story: how Jesus died on the cross and was put in a tomb but He didn’t stay there! He rose again and if we believe in Him, His death covers our sins and we can go to Heaven to be with Him.

(I’m not sure we totally understood the story- at one point one of the 4 year olds asked in a hush tone “Was Mama there?!” No bud-this happened a bit before Mama was born 🫣)

Then we got to work.

At first they just watched me laying out the tiny terracotta “tomb” and the stones and covering everything with moss. But they warmed up more and more and had opinions about the placement of the cross and different rocks. They rolled the stone back and forth across the empty grave and their excitement grew.

“AND we need a campfire!” This motion was proposed, seconded, and carried and the meeting adjourned before Aunt Ken knew what happened.

“Oh well, it’s their project, and I love the creativity” I thought so I carefully started laying out stones while my excited helpers rushed outside to find twigs for a campfire for the Resurrection scene. “Four year olds” I smiled to myself.

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It wasn’t until I got home that the significance of the campfire over Easter weekend hit me.

Remember how Peter promised that he would stand by Jesus no matter what? Even after Jesus warned him that he’d deny him 3 times, Peter was confident in his unwavering loyalty.

Mark 14 tells us that Peter was sitting with the guards “warming himself by the fire” while Jesus was on trial in front of the Sanhedrin. A servant girl stopped and said “aren’t you with the man on trial?” And Peter denied knowing Jesus.

He moved away from the fire, but stayed in the entry way and vehemently denied the next two accusations that he even knew Jesus.

And then Jesus turned and caught Peters eye and a rooster crowed and Peter left and cried brokenly.

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I’d never stopped to think about the campfire in the resurrection story and how personal it is to me.

But if I’m being honest- I’m spending way too much much time by that campfire. I’m just hanging around, watching, thinking about the uncertainty that’s ahead of me- I know Jesus is able. But what if the amount of blood thinner that I’m on creates a major problem during the birth of our child?

I’m hunkered over it, pondering the unstableness of the chicken world and wondering what’s ahead.

My eyes fill with smoky tears and I feel so sad and defeated. And yet there I stay: wrapped in my own thoughts, worrying and overthinking-keeping my pain for myself and denying giving it over to Jesus.

I could be kneeling at the cross and dropping these burdens and resting in the fact that Jesus knows the end from the beginning and nothing is too big for Him to handle.

Or I could be dancing with joy in front of the empty tomb- Praising God that He is victorious and faithful and will always make a way.

Jesus knew what He was saying when He referenced learning from little children. I’ve got a lot to ponder on.

I believe, help my unbelief!

Kendra

Last Wednesday dawned like any other day. Well technically it didn’t, because the day before, Mother got a call that her knee replacement surgery was bumped up 2 days, so she and Em were sailing for the local hospital to be the first surgery of the day.

But other than that things were normal. Ben was trucking and he mentioned that loading grain in the brisk breeze wasn’t much fun, so I made the executive decision to not hang out laundry after all.

Then the current started blinking on and off and I watched a 30 foot wave of leaves and chicken litter sail past the kitchen window. Strange.

The house shook with the gusts of wind and I watched the bird feeder blowing horizontally until I finally braved the elements and brought them inside, lest they escape the hook they were hanging on and became a flying missile straight into the innocent pickup sitting near by.

And then Julia messaged me: “Hey they say there’s a fire on Peake Mtn Rd, I’m not home. Do you know anything?”

Well that’s not cool, but I assured her that if there was anything to know, Em would be up to speed with her fire and rescue info.

A bit later, Julia messaged again “I came home. It’s really close. I’m petrified”

Then Father threw more info on the situation: “Everybody’s calling me wondering if we need help to move out. Sherman and I are about an hour out. But we’re coming as fast as we can.”

So I fastened down everything that hadn’t already blown away on our farm and went too.

The smoke was billowing through Eden Valley engulfing everything, making it impossible to see what was what.

I joined the convoy sailing back Paradise Lane, unsure what we were going to find.

There were already men there, hooking up water hoses, patrolling the stall barns, watching carefully the ash-filled smoke that was falling everywhere.

And Julia standing in the back yard with Gideon in her arms in a state of shock.

I know everything makes me feel teary at this stage, but the fact that with minutes there were atleast 20 men (with so many more on standby) there ready to spring into action if the situation went south, was incredible.

The sheriff rolled in and out of the lane updating everyone on the situation and shortly after he informed us that it was within a 100 yards, the wind calmed a little and shifted. Thank you Jesus.

Gideon and I stayed in the house mostly, pacing from window to window trying to figure out what was happening.

A fire truck arrived much to Gideons amazement and a brush truck. (Reports filtered in that because of the excessive amount of sudden wildfires, there weren’t many units available)

And we watched and waited.

And prayed and prayed and prayed.

The fire line became visible from the house, but still moved slowly. Thank you Jesus.

Eventually duty called me elsewhere and I left the window watching to someone else. But the patrol continued for hours. Bless the firefighters and the volunteers who relentlessly protected the homes on Paradise Mountain.

As I watched Julia trying to think through the reality of what was irreplaceable in her house if something changed horribly and we had to flee, I kept thinking of the hymn “Til the Storm passes By” I took the liberty to change a few words.

In the dark of the midnight have I oft hid my face

While the storms howl above me, and there’s no hiding place

‘Mid the crash of [this windstorm], precious Lord, hear my cry

Keep me safe ’til the storm passes by

‘Til the storm passes over, ’til the [wind] sounds no more

‘Til the [smoke] clouds roll forever from the sky

Hold me fast, let me stand in the hollow of Thy hand

Keep me safe ’til the storm passes by

Many times Satan whispered, “There is no need to try

For there’s no end of sorrow, there’s no hope by and by”

But I know Thou art with me, and tomorrow I’ll rise

Where the storms never darken the skies

‘Til the storm passes over, ’til the [wind] sounds no more

‘Til the [smoke] clouds roll forever from the sky

Hold me fast, let me stand in the hollow of Thy hand

Keep me safe ’til the storm passes by

The neighbors cows amazed me- calmly munching on grass, seemingly not aware of the surrounding danger.

Smoky sunset

📸: Sherman on the 11 pm patrol

3.20

3.21

Yesterday I drove back in Paradise Lane, slower this time. There’s burnt forest the entire way. It runs through the neighborhoods flowerbed the entire way to the lane, but the houses stand unharmed. The trees aren’t any worse for the wear, but the undergrowth took a beating- that’s not a bad thing. There’s still a down tree or two that’s smoking. But it’s calm now.

I’m so thankful to God above for keeping us safe in the Hollow of His Hand. There are others who are dealing with harsher realities after the smoke clears, but I pray that they feel the reassurance of resting in the Father’s Hand in their story too.

“But I know Thou art with me, and tomorrow I’ll rise, where the Storms never darken the skies.”

Kendra

Bonus Pic:

And how’s Mother’s recovery? There’s no way through this without pain. Her incision caused some drama when it started bleeding persistently, but thankfully that seems to be calming down. Em has been faithfully caring for her even while eating her heart out to be helping with the excitement on the mountain. She was on breakfast duty for several mornings over the fire and guess who couldn’t just sit in the living room and watch. Here’s Mother, fresh out of surgery helping put together 24 breakfast sandwiches. 📸: Em

Basically everyday starts the same in my world. I head to the couch armed with an ice pack, a shot of Lovenox and a cup of coffee. And I sit in the stillness and listen to the big Grandfather clock in the corner of the living room tick away.

That’s a lot of how I’d sum up my current season. The silence on the blog reflects that. There’s plenty of positive things here, but I wouldn’t be telling the truth to say that this adjustment period has been completely smooth sailing. But we’re getting there.

I remember studying about the doldrums in school. I went to Google to double check my memory: The “doldrums” is a popular nautical term that refers to the belt around the Earth near the equator where sailing ships sometimes get stuck on windless waters.

I don’t know if the ability to nap for hours at a time would count as doldrums- but that’s definitely where I am. Praying that with a new season will come the return of energy.

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Early last month as soon as we could get away from the farm, we took a quick trip south. I didn’t realize how solar powered I must be. The warm air, blue skies, and bright sunshine was a true gift.

We loved having our own little place where we could cook all the fresh veggies that our hearts desired 😂 Fresh greenbeans in February are a treat!

And spending time with friends made it even more worthwhile.

When the adults rented bikes for the week, I knew that was out of the question for me. But when friends offered me a spin on their 3 wheeled battery powered bicycle- I thought I had it made 😂

Pinecraft in February really is a unique experience.

All too soon, duty called and we were returning to the northland. Recharged and ready to face reality.

Especially when reality is this full of stories and the best sprinkle sprinklers in the county 😂 We made cake pops before Aunt Ken realized she needed to watch her sugar 😏 so this is a very sweet memory 😂

My Aunt Ella recently sent me part of Ps 139:

14 I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.

15 My substance was not hid from thee, when I was made in secret, and curiously wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.

16 Thine eyes did see my substance, yet being unperfect; and in thy book all my members were written, which in continuance were fashioned, when as yet there was none of them.

17 How precious also are thy thoughts unto me, O God! how great is the sum of them!

18 If I should count them, they are more in number than the sand: when I awake, I am still with thee.

In the stillness of the clock ticking, I easily overlook the truth in these words. God knew my story before I was born. And He thinks about me more times than the fine grains of sand on the Siesta Key Beach 🤯

²³ Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts:

²⁴ And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

So thankful for a Loving Heavenly Father whose care and provision is constant no matter what.

Kendra