Ian Kemper Patron

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"I don't get my nerves from this gun, Mothershed. I had 'em long before I could pick one of 'em up."

Portland

Favorite films

Pinned reviews

Ghostbusters 1984

★★★★★ Rewatched 20 Mar 2024 9

It's easy to talk about how great Ghostbusters is. The hilarious and witty dialogue, the amazing cast of characters (and the actors playing them), the great set pieces, and of course, the stunning special effects.

But I don't want to talk about that.
I want to talk about the very brief appearance of "Jail Guard," aka Reginald VelJohnson, and his story (he releases the Ghostbusters from their cell so they can go talk to the Mayor in case you don't…
Rear Window 1954

★★★★★ Rewatched 22 Jun 2023 11

Ok, I think I got this film figured out. Stewart is figuratively emasculated because of his literal incapacitation and in order to reassert his masculinity he must solve a crime and do it using a giant telescopic lense that represents his penis.
Also! We the audience are forced out of being just interested bystanders and into the role of complicit voyeur because of the first person perspective that Hitchcock uses to tell this story
So in conclusion! We, and Stewart…

Recent reviews

Christmas Island 2023

★★½ Watched 13 Dec 2024 6

Honestly this is a lot less silly than what I expected. Sure, the premise is odd, and yeah, everyone is way too nice and normal on this relatively remote Nova Scotian island, and yes, it defies belief that these islanders go about their Christmas season duties with only T-shirts and an unbuttoned flannel, let alone the stranded L.A. based family doing the same (or even more unbelievably, in cocktail dresses and a jacket), but it's all pretty harmless and charming.…
Deck the Halls 2006

★★ Rewatched 12 Dec 2024

"You go along, thinking you're doing all the right things, for all the right reasons.... then you blow up your house."
A succinct quote to cover many of life's events. Such as:

Your Christmas feud with your insane neighbor
Your middle aged crisis
Your unpermitted kitchen conversion from electric to gas
Your Jinx cosplay getting too literal
Your forgetting that in order to UP your house, the balloons go on the outside
Your calling 911 because of a medical emergency…

Popular reviews

The Hatchet Wielding Hitchhiker 2023

★★½ Watched 13 Jan 2023

Pretty interesting doc about a mentally ill man doing things that mentally ill people do and being exploited to do so by a bunch of industry vultures who in turn act shocked when this man does a heinous crime that is exactly like what he has been saying he would do on social media. Everyone sucks here.
Dune: Part Two 2024

★★★★★ Watched 03 Mar 2024 2

This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

So on the one hand you get to have an entire worlds population worship you as their messiah, see all the paths of the future, have Anya Taylor-Joy tell you she loves you, get sweet revenge on the family that murdered your dad and killed your people, become the Emperor of the universe, marry Florence Pugh and presumably inherit her fashion advisor, and get to wipe the annoying smirk from Austin Butler's pale-ass face...
But on the other hand, you…

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