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* Posts by Aladdin Sane

2765 publicly visible posts • joined 20 Jun 2015

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Musk claims Cybertruck has become profitable at last

Aladdin Sane
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Upvote for Wankpanzer, always happy to see that term out in the wild.

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Aladdin Sane
Trollface

Laughs in European safety standards.

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Lab-grown human brain cells drive virtual butterfly in simulation

Aladdin Sane
Terminator

The Matrix

Where the majority of humanity is enslaved by the thinking machines. Really aspirational.

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Richard Branson to take balloon ride to edge of space

Aladdin Sane
Mushroom

Wasting precious irreplaceable helium for a bunch of rich pricks to get a nice view.

Fuck 'em

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Pentagon stumped by mystery drone swarm flying over Langley Air Force Base

Aladdin Sane
Trollface

Langley Air Force Base and Naval Station Norfolk

The obvious culprit is the army.

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Version 7.6 – the 'OpenBSD of Theseus' – released

Aladdin Sane

Ship of Theseus

Trigger's broom, Shirley?

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Microsoft veteran ditches Team Tabs, blaming storage trauma of yesteryear

Aladdin Sane
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Re: 4k 32" monitor $400

I think I've used several people's quotas.

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Crack coder wasn't allowed to meet clients due to his other talent: Blisteringly inappropriate insults

Aladdin Sane
Coat

Archimedes

Did the displacement increase?

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China claims Starlink signals can reveal stealth aircraft – and what that really means

Aladdin Sane
Trollface

The easy way to know where stealth aircraft are is to wait for shit to blow up with nothing in the airspace.

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WHO-backed meta-study finds no evidence that cellphone radiation causes brain cancer

Aladdin Sane
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Re: Time to take off the tin foil hat

But which one did I mean?

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Aladdin Sane
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Re: Time to take off the tin foil hat

What people don't realise is that tinfoil hats actually act as antennae.

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Techie made a biblical boo-boo when trying to spread the word

Aladdin Sane

At least it wasn't Ezekiel 25:17

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Brit teachers are getting AI sidekicks to help with marking and lesson plans

Aladdin Sane
Terminator

I can only assume this idea came from AI as a way to indoctrinate the kids and we're on our way to Roko's Basilisk.

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AI stole my job and my work, and the boss didn't know – or care

Aladdin Sane
Mushroom

AI watermarking threatened at least 30 percent of the ChatGPT-maker's business.

Good

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Elon Musk claims live Trump interview on X derailed by DDoS

Aladdin Sane
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Re: Greatest cutter

Can also be applied to people who self harm.

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BOFH: The true gravity of the Boss and the 3-coffee problem

Aladdin Sane
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After 3 coffees there definitely will be shit.

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Hello? Emergency services? I'd like to report a wrong number

Aladdin Sane
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Even if you just dial 999 it'll take you through to the emergency services.

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Inquiry hears UK government misled MPs over Post Office IT scandal

Aladdin Sane
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Re: at what point does....

When it's not covered by parliamentary privilege.

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Silicon, stars, and sulfur make Apollo's unlikely legacy

Aladdin Sane
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Gravity's a myth.

The Earth sucks.

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Stop installing that software – you may have just died

Aladdin Sane
Mushroom

Wargaming

My dad was in the navy and during one of these exercises on an airbase was assigned to the opposing force (AKA "The Bad Guys"). As such, in the week before the official start he began hiding bundles of broom handles cut down to the size of dynamite.

After the fourth one was discovered the exercise was scrapped before it began.

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Yahoo! Japan to waive $189 million ad revenue after detecting fraudulent clicks

Aladdin Sane

Who knew Yahoo! was still a thing?

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BOFH: An 'AI PC' for an Acutely Ignorant user

Aladdin Sane
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Re: Virtual coloured penclis?

Also need a machine that goes 'Ping!'

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Aladdin Sane
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Re: Virtual coloured penclis?

Teachers use them daily. Powerpoint wankers use them monthly.

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I didn't touch a thing – just some cables and a monitor – and my computer broke

Aladdin Sane
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Re: ? Yeah, sure. Nothing changed. Pinky promise.

Instead of having "flat 12, 10 nowhere street", it'll be "12/10" in the building name field.

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Aladdin Sane
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Re: Don't forget

"Don't you know how important I am?"

No, do you?

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Aladdin Sane
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Re: Yeah, sure. Nothing changed. Pinky promise.

Scottish addresses for flats are an absolute bugger for this.

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Researchers warn robot cars can be crashed with tinfoil and paint daubed on cardboard

Aladdin Sane

By placing a smooth metal surface between the radar and a target vehicle with a specific orientation

Does anybody know where I can get an F-117 drone?

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'Little weirdo' shoulder surfer teaches UK cabinet minister a lesson in cybersecurity

Aladdin Sane
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Re: Basic failure

Make it the job of the chief whips.

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UK PM Sunak calls election, leaving Brits cringing over memory of his Musk love-in

Aladdin Sane
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What kind of a country would treat another country that depended on it for basic utilities poorly?

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Brit council fumbles Oracle Fusion launch, leaving SAP to die another day

Aladdin Sane
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Trollface

Re: Oracle migration trail.

How long until they die of dysentery?

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Aladdin Sane
Flame

Why don't all these councils learn from each other and stop this never ending flow of IT delays and fuck ups? Pissing money up the wall.

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Techie invented bits of the box he was fixing, still botched the job

Aladdin Sane
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Re: "stay away from magnets"

They can slow your watch down so you might end up doing some unintended overtime.

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Aladdin Sane
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Yeah, unless you're wearing something like an Omega Railmaster or Rolex Milgauss, best stay away from magnets. Even the ones used in knife racks can cause issues.

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Your trainee just took down our business and has no idea how or why

Aladdin Sane

I hope the kid wasn't sacked.

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Mars helicopter sends final message, but will keep collecting data

Aladdin Sane

Mars helicopter sends final message

ALL THESE WORLDS ARE YOURS – EXCEPT EUROPA. ATTEMPT NO LANDING THERE.

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BOFH: The new Boss, Aiman, is suspiciously good – for now

Aladdin Sane
Coffee/keyboard

bring someone else's child into work

New keyboard please.

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AWS must pay $525M to cloud storage patent holder, says jury

Aladdin Sane
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You're a generous sociopath?

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Netherlands arm of KPMG fined $25M for cheating in exams

Aladdin Sane
Trollface

Core Values

"Together" is also one of their core values, and this is just an example of teamwork.

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What's brown and sticky and broke this PC?

Aladdin Sane
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Re: "help desk"

Helldesk

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Aladdin Sane
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Re: Keyboard jammed

Lone Star!!!

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Aladdin Sane
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Re: House's Law

I don't lie, I just bullshit.

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Meta, Microsoft, X, Match pledge selves to Epic battle against Apple App Store

Aladdin Sane
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Re: and my axe!

Why carry only one axe when you could carry two?

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Britain enters period of mourning as Greggs unable to process payments

Aladdin Sane
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mixture of the bland sausagemeat, the hot fat and the flaky pastry

It's the salt. Lots and lots of salt.

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Aladdin Sane
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Re: Correct me if I'm wrong...

Use more force

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Virgin Media sets up 'smart poles' next to cabinets to boost mobile network capacity

Aladdin Sane
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Re: Danger of Death

That's my bathroom routine.

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McDonald's ordering system suffers McFlurry of tech troubles

Aladdin Sane
Coat

Not lovin' IT

Yes, yes, I know...

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Year of Linux on the desktop creeps closer as market share rises a little

Aladdin Sane

Maths

3.08% to 4.03% is a 31% increase, not 25%

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They call me 'Growler'. I don't like you. Let's discuss your pay cut

Aladdin Sane
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Re: Depends on your definition of growler I guess.

My dad was drinking in the American Legion:

Yank: Where were you boys during Vietnam?

Dad: I thought the Vietcong were doing fine without us.

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Aladdin Sane
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Pint

Re: Depends on your definition of growler I guess.

64 US oz is a smidge over 3.3 UK pints. So that's lunch sorted.

My dad was in the USA with the RN in the 70s, and said the matelots were delighted to find that Americans served beer in jugs, so they got a jug each.

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It's that most wonderful time of the year when tech cannot handle the date

Aladdin Sane
Trollface

My automatic watch says it's 29th, what's the problem?

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