Professor Telphy

“	I've said too much	”
	— Charlie

Charles "Charlie" Telphy is a supporting protagonist in Black-ish and the deuteragonist in Grown-ish. In Black-ish, he used to be one of Andre's co-workers until he quit, but eventually returned once his old firm and new firm merged. In Grown-ish, he's the Dean of Students at Cal U. Charlie is portrayed by Deon Cole.

Charlie first appears on the series in Black-ish episode three, "The Nod," as a new account manager at the firm of Stevens & Lido.

Family[]

After being hit by a car and winning a large settlement, Charlie became "the breadwinner for [his] family at the age of 8." ^{("The Gift of Hunger")}

Charlie has a son named Eustace whom he sometimes calls "Useless." ^{("The Nod")}Charlie bought a jet ski in his son's name and ruined the child's credit. He then had to get rid of the jet ski because the manager of his building "said it was taking up too much room in the pool." ^{("The Peer-ent Trap")}

Charlie states that he is going through a "pretty nasty divorce" after his wife cheated on him and then shot him. ^{("The Nod")}He states that at one time his wife got pregnant accidentally, but it turned out that the baby wasn't his child. ^{("Sex, Lies and Vasectomies")}

He has a brother who is "not gay or nothin'," but Charlie "was the best man at he and his lifelong roommate Gustavo's health insurance consolidation party last summer on Fire Island." ^{("Please Don't Ask, Please Don't Tell")}

Though he denies having two families, Charlie has "two groups of people in two different parts of the country that [he] gots to love exactly the same" and needs "to have half [his] paycheck sent to a P.O. Box in Phoenix for unrelated reasons." ^{("Oedipal Triangle")}

Friends[]

Charlie claims to know RuPaul, Barack Obama, Maya Angelou, Halle Berry, Andre 3000, Busta Rhymes, Mike Tyson, George Foreman III through VI, the "'the rent is too damn high' guy," Condoleezza Rice, and Michael Jordan. He calls Dionne Warwick a "wonderful woman" and a "generous lover." ^{("The Prank King")}

Charlie was in love with a woman named Dominique, whom he shared a romantic relationship with. In order to win her heart, he went along with Junior’s plan to pretend to own a luxurious lifestyle, but in the end he was angry with himself for lying but consequently pushed her away. However, she visited him in his apartment and the two reconciled, before allegedly going to Catalina. (“Charlie in Charge”)

On the Job[]

Prior to his employment at Stevens & Lido, Charlie worked for Starbucks in Washington. He credits his relocation and job change with saving his life after "a lot of bad stuff happened up there in Seattle." ^{("The Nod")}

According to Andre, Charlie takes every other Monday off and calls it "Double Sunday." ^{("Switch Hitting")}

In "Black Santa/White Christmas," Charlie suggests planting cocaine in a coworker's desk, but when he learns that one can be fired for having cocaine at work, he leaves the room to "go take care of something unrelated." Later in the episode, at the Stevens & Lido Christmas party, he announces, "What's that I hear? Sleigh bells, baby! Definitely not sirens, 'cause I got that stuff out my desk."

History[]

Charlie once showed Andre and Rainbow JPEGS of his benign rectal polyps. ^{("The Nod")}

He has been shot in both the face and the genitals, and if he had to choose which area to get shot in, he would "take face any day." As a result of this mishap, he has learned to "never make yourself a grilled butter sandwich while cleaning your gun." ^{("Sex, Lies and Vasectomies")}

He "had a botched circumcision a few years ago." ^{("The Real World")}

He is allergic to peanuts. He keeps an EpiPen in his car, but his car was repossessed. ^{("The Real World")}

Charlie doesn't have molars. As a result, "it's impossible for me to grind up food," and he has never eaten taffy. ^{("The Gift of Hunger")}

Interests and Hobbies[]

Charlie likes the Dave Matthews Band. ^{("Elephant in the Room")}

In reference to President Chester A. Arthur's reform of the Navy, he believes "that mess was off the chain." ^{("Black Santa/White Christmas")}

He counts the grand opening of Roscoe's House of Chicken and Waffles as a black holiday. ^{("Martin Luther Skiing Day")}

He wishes that there was a Black Jeopardy that would air after Black Wheel of Fortune but before The Black Blacklist. ^{("Martin Luther Skiing Day")}

He considers both the movie Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star and hitchhiking "underrated." ^{("The Real World")}

In the episode Andre From Marseille, Charlie asks Andre for $800, then inquires, "You ever lose your walk-around money at a cock fight?"

He puts hot sauce on Goldfish crackers and calls the snack "hot fish." ^{("Switch Hitting")}

He plays on a "white-guy" basketball team and states that "these white guys are my hookup to things that brothers can't get -- nighttime dentists, hockey tickets, cure for AIDS, that black seat on the space ark when the world ends." ^{("30 Something")}

He reveals to Dre he's the proud owner of two pitbull dogs that he enters in dog shows and says have won best in show. He seems to be very proud of the dogs and affectionately named them Peaches and Herb. ^{("Dog Eat Dog World")}

Eccentricities[]

Charlie claims that he had never seen snow until a ski trip with the Johnson family. ^{("Martin Luther Skiing Day")}

When pulled over by a police officer, Charlie ambiguously says, "I'm not going back" and later mutters, "I'm glad that cop didn't look in the trunk. Game over. Twenty to life." ^{("Martin Luther Skiing Day").}

While at a ski lodge with the Johnsons, he puts on dress slacks to go skiing. He intends to tuck the pants into his socks but then realizes he forgot his socks. ^{("Martin Luther Skiing Day")}

He attends a party at Andre and Rainbow's house in part because he had "been locked out of [his] house for a few days." He shows up at the 8:00 p.m. party at 6:30 after hitchhiking to the event. Partway through the gathering, he goes into the kitchen and begins cooking an omelet. ^{("The Real World")}

According to Andre, Charlie lives in his car and even put a humidifier inside the vehicle. ^{("Switch Hitting")}

He believes that drowning is one of the worst ways to die: "It goes fire, drowning... then bees." ^{("Please Don't Ask, Please Don't Tell")}

He thinks that the cut-off age for leaving a child at a fire station under the baby safe haven law is 4-1/2 years old. ^{("The Gift of Hunger")}

He thought Dre was Ruby's father. (”Elder. Scam.”)

He leaves an African American CPR dummy he named “Chauncey” (which bears a minor resemblance to him) in his office dressed as him whenever he goes out. According to him, the CPR dummy actually got him a raise at work and taught him CPR. (“Charity Case”)

While at a company party, he said she used to fast as a kid. He would eat a big meal in November, and he didn’t eat again until he woke up in the spring. Then he realized he was talking about bears, and repeatedly told himself to “Stop talking about bears in public.” (Sugar Daddy)

Him and Diane[]

A running gag in the series is the dynamic between Charlie and Diane. Whenever they see each other, their greeting is this:

Diane: “Charles.”

Charlie: “Diane.”

Episodes: Switch Hitting, Martin Luther Skiing Day, Charlie in Charge, Sprinkles, Christmas in Theater Eight, Enough Is Enough.

It's strongly implied that Charlie is terrified of Diane, while Diane very much dislikes the former for unknown reasons. According to Vivica A. Fox, the sound of Diane's name makes the light go out of Charlie's eyes; for that reason, she was banned from the wedding. It was hinted that the start of their feud may have resulted from something Charlie did or did not do. ("My Work-Friend's Wedding")

On multiple occasions, Charlie has wondered if Diane is a witch. ("Charlie in Charge)")

Diane has also expressed interest in the idea of Charlie passing away. (“The Purge”)

Quote: “So it’s Diane who has the Internet? That evil child wants me dead. Now she can buy weapons and poison and bitcoins, and travel unencumbered down the Silk Road.” (“Their Eyes Were Watching Screens”)

He expressed excitement over the thought of Diane being gone. (“R-E-S-P-E-C-T")

In the episode, “Mother Nature,” Charlie received a letter from Diane that she had his home address, and it would be the last mistake he made.

Over the discussion of Dre having daughters as a good thing, Charlie said that when it was time for Dre to pass away, Diane would put an air bubble in his I.V. (“The Name Game”)

When Dre brought up Diane's name at work, Charlie corrected him by saying it was pronounced "Demon," and said he was terrified of Diane growing older, as the older demons were harder to get because they tend to "act the fool." ("Daughters for Dummies)"

Despite being terrified of her, Charlie implied to have some level of respect for Diane: “Diane’s petty, and she’s mean, and she messed up my meet-and-greet with Boyz II Men, but she’s no loser.” (“Scarred for Life”)

In "My Work-Friend's Wedding," Diane was banned from Charlie's wedding by Vivica A. Fox, but she nevertheless snuck in anyway. During the party, Diane expressed her "happiness" for him, and, as a wedding gift, their feud would be on pause until after their honeymoon. Charlie, while skeptical, said thanks and told her to "stay menacing." Immediately once he was out of earshot, however, she claimed that she was going to flood his house.

Appearances[]

Season 1[]

Season 2[]

8/25 (actual appearances)

9/25 (mentioned in one episode)

Season 3[]

21/24

Season 4[]

19/23

Season 5[]

3/5

Trivia[]

His father used to take him to hunt deer, which are "the most dangerous game," according to Charlie.
- When questioned about this he implied that his father was killed by deer on a hunter's expedition.
- Contradictory to this however he says his father didn't want him to know who he was, implying that they never met.
His nickname for Eustace is “Useless.”
He was once kidnapped, but never called the police after.
Throughout the series Charlie hints at being involved in the cocaine trade.
He killed a burglar when he was nine.
He has a tendency to lie.
He might be a member of the Illuminati.
He was run over when he was a child, so Dre says this is why he is so odd.
He wears the same size shoe as Dre.
He thinks Bow should be his wife.
He once sent Bow a box of leotards.
He is an unlicensed taxidermist.

He follows Bow on social media.
He is legally deceased.
Children call him the "snowman" because he always walks around with sugar in his pocket.
- Sugar might have been a code word for cocaine.
He wasn’t allowed to see his birth certificate.
He thinks Obama is a Republican.
He admits that he had no credentials for his marketing job.
He has never heard of Christopher Columbus.
Instead of learning about typical things in school, he was taught how to fake resumes.
He worked for Pan Am.
He claims to be between 39 and 72 years of age.
According to him, his haters are Diane, Malia Obama, Mississippi, Siri, and "the guys that are after him."