Foreigner Identification Badges (1974)

From 1974, all foreigners (as well as citizens friendly to foreigners) were required by law to wear identification badges. The image above is just one page from a hefty, six volume guide distributed to local councils and border officials. The glossy guide and badges were so expensive to produce that they were manufactured abroad because the dwindling UK print industry no longer had adequate resources.

Additionally, the first print run of the guide had to be recalled after a typo was discovered: A foreign typesetter had accidently rendered every instance of the word 'British' as 'Brutish'.

Happy Valentine's Day

Happy St.Valentine's Day from everyone in Scarfolk...the home of love.

"Babies Are Killers" Awareness Week (Part 3)

This is the third and final post for Babies Awareness Week.  We hope that the danger of Babies has now been fully conveyed to you.  

Remember that the symptoms of Babies are not always visible. If you have been been bitten by a baby, toddler or even an adult under 4 feet 9 inches, always visit your doctor.  If you do not receive medical attention within 74 years of being infected you risk suffering from the effects of aging and, ultimately, death.

"Don't smuggle death. It could save your life..."

"Babies Are Killers" Awareness Week (Part 2)

Babies Awareness Week continues with this poster which was placed in airports, harbours, maternity units and other entry points into the United Kingdom.

"Babies Are Killers" Awareness Week (Part 1)

Today is the start of Babies Awareness Week in Scarfolk, so make sure you check back for updates. The first Babies Awareness Week took place in 1973 after health and literacy clashed with wide-reaching consequences.

Here is an excerpt from a 1974 leaflet: "While babies are stunted, mostly inefficient humans, 'Babies' is the name of a viral disease carried by unbaptised infants born out of wedlock. It is usually transmitted to other animals by a bite from an infected baby. 'Babies' travels via the nervous system through the anxious gland to the brain, which is most often stored within easy reach of the cranium. The virus is untreatable and invariably fatal within days, especially if panicking family members leave the delirious patient to stumble aimlessly along the motorway at night.

Early stage symptoms include gurgling, inability to walk or solve complex mathematical problems, an inexplicable contempt for mashed banana, and defecating without panache accompanied by a sense of unjustified triumph."

Back in the 1970s, concerned parents vaccinated their children daily and those suspected of having contracted 'Babies' were taken away by the council in large trucks then pickled, varnished and used as clothes mannequins in department stores. However, this practice was stopped when the virus spread to a range of medium-priced sweaters. It was the first time that the disease had passed from one species to another.

Here's the first of several posters designed in the 1970s to warn Scarfolk citizens of the dangers of babies with 'Babies.'

Happy Friday the13th from Scarfolk Coven!

Everyone at Scarfolk Coven would like to you wish you all the best for today, Friday the 13th. So mote it be, dear citizens, so mote it be.

"Scarfolk Coven: Where every Friday is Friday the 13th"

 

To enlarge/zoom right-click and 'open in new page/tab'

Scarfolk Ice-Cream range, 1979

In Scarfolk the ice-cream van man comes between 3 & 4am. You can hear him blaring the haunting Swedish Rhapsody numbers station* from over a mile away.

The ice-cream van man wears a clown mask to disguise the horrific burns on his face because he doesn't want to frighten the children. He uses clothes pegs to hold the mask on because he is missing an ear.

He lives in a nondescript building in an electrical substation and no one knows his name.

*Here's a recording of Scarfolk's ice-cream van playing the Swedish Rhapsody Numbers Station.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GUQUD3IMbb4

"Medium-sized illness" State healthcare in early 1970s Scarfolk

The state healthcare system - the SHS (Scarfolk Health Service) - fiercely encourages people not to be sick.

In 1974 there is a total budget of 29 pounds 102 pence per person. The SHS is very reluctant to help you.

To receive tolerable healthcare, residents are encouraged to give each other medical gift-tokens, which can be spent at any clinic, pharmacy, hardware shop or oil refinery.

This poster was on the walls of most hospitals and clinics.

Rabies public information poster from 1972

A  poster frequently seen around Scarfolk in the early 70s, especially in schools, libraries and hospitals.