| — This is a transcribed copy of Taking Charge. — |
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Polly: Whoa! [laughs] Whoo! [laughs] Higher!
[Anne screams from offscreen.]
Sprig: Huh?
Hop Pop: Huh?
Polly: Aaah!
Anne: Guys, guys, guys, guys, guys! Look! [shows them her phone]
Polly: What are we looking at here?
Anne: "Suspicion Island". It's, like, my favorite show. I've got the new season and didn't even know it. It must have auto-downloaded before I got here.
Sprig: Who's this Otto?
Polly: And how did you download him?
Anne: Just watch.
[beeps]
Narrator: Previously on Suspicion Island...
Peruvia: I've got a lot of feelings about this place.
Sprig: Look! More Annes!
Polly: Ha ha! They have noses.
Randy: I feel like everyone on this island is suspicious, Peruvia, except you!
Peruvia: But, Randy, I think you're suspicious!
Randy: Nooooooo!!!
Narrator: Suspicion Island. If you don't stay suspicious, you won't stay alive.
[explosions]
Hop Pop: What is this demonic nonsense?
Anne: Hop Pop, this show's got beautiful people doing dumb things while stuff explodes! It's literally perfect.
Sprig: Awesome!
Polly: Let's do it!
Hop Pop: Now, hold on. Instead of that garbage, how 'bout I treat you to some real entertainment?
Sprig and Polly: Oh, no.
Hop Pop: A scene from The Shallow Pond.
[clears throat]
Hop Pop: Sadness. The world is sadness. But look. There. A pond! Is it deep? Or shallow?
Sprig, Polly, Anne: [chanting] Suspicion Island! Suspicion Island! Suspicion Island!
Hop Pop: Okay! Fine!
Anne: Whoo-hoo!
Sprig: Yes!
Polly: Yeah!
Hop Pop: But just one.
(Smash to Anne and the Plantars watching the show into the night; Anne, Sprig and Polly are engrossed, eyes bloodshot and veiny, while Hop Pop isn't interested.)
Chad: It can't be, Vivica. These pterodactyls are clones of... my dead brother!
Anne: (gasps) NO WAY.
(Hop Pop rolls his eyes and grumbles.)
(Vivica is taken away on a pterodactyl.)
Chad: NOOOOO!
Narrator: Will these beautiful teens ever make it off the island? Find out next time on--
(Anne pauses the video.)
Anne: And that's enough for tonight.
Sprig: Aw, come on!
Polly: [groans] This is torture!
Anne: Trust me, guys. You gotta pace yourself with this stuff.
Hop Pop: All right, you two grubs. Off to bed.
[both groaning]
Sprig: How am I supposed to sleep without knowing what happened to Vivica and Chad?
Polly: Stupid sleep! I wanna watch it right now!
Anne: So? What do you think, Hop Pop? Better than that boring stuff you read to us, right?
Hop Pop: That "boring stuff" is called literature, Anne. And maybe, if you had an ounce of culture, you wouldn't reject it in favor of your substandard, puerile garbage show!
Anne: Sheesh. Tell me how you really feel.
[yawns]
Anne: Nup, nup, nup.
[wind whistling]
[ticking]
[beep]
Narrator: Last week on Suspicion Island...
[Change to morning, a rooster crows.]
Anne: Come on, guys! It's time to get...suspicious.
(She starts to play the next episode; suddenly, her phone displays a low battery alert and beeps.)
Anne: Wait, WHAT?
(The Plantars enter.)
Sprig: What's wrong, Anne?
Hop Pop: What's all the ruckus?
Polly: Why you screaming?
Anne: My battery is low. But it was fine last night when I turned it off.
(She accesses the season. Somehow, all the episodes are marked "WATCHED".)
Anne: Huh? "Watched"? Who watched all these episodes and used up all the--
(Another alert.)
Anne: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!!!
(The phone then displays a dead cat face and is booted off.)
Anne: It's gone.
Sprig: What's gone?
Anne: Everything! My pictures! My texts! Videos of my cat! Now all my memories from home are gone!! (She begins hyperventilating.)
[panicked breathing]
Sprig: Um, there, there?
Anne: No! Was it you?
Sprig: What? No! I didn't watch anything. It must have been Polly.
Polly: What?
Sprig: I even heard her get up in the night. Very suspicious.
Polly: I needed to pee! Plus, if you heard me, you were awake too. You're the suspicious one!
Sprig: Don't change the subject.
Polly: Wait, wait, wait, wait. What about... Hop Pop?
Hop Pop: Heh! Me? In case you forgot, I despise that garbage.
Polly: Exactly! Maybe you ran down the phone so we'd have to listen to your boring play!
Sprig: Oh, that's good.
Hop Pop: That is preposterous!
Anne: [groans] Enough! If none of you are going to admit to it, the least you could do is help me fix my phone.
Hop Pop: Fair enough, Anne. How do we bring this thing back to life? Magic? Live sacrifice? I know a guy in town--
Anne: We need power. Electricity.
Polly: What?
Hop Pop: Huh?
Anne: You know, zap zap?
Hop Pop: "Zap zap"? Oh, I think I know what you're talking about. Quickly! To my study!
Hop Pop: I've heard talk of a creature called the zapapede that lives deep in the Misty Peaks. It zaps its prey with a small spark of lightnin'. Yeah, it's pretty cool, actually.
Anne: Sounds like it's worth a shot. So, how far away is this bug, HP?
Hop Pop: Don't call me HP. [clears throat] It's half a day's travel, but that should be no trouble for this gang.
Sprig: Oh, yeah? Well, that's just what Chad Vanderblad said. Right before he was stabbed in the back by a backstabber on Suspicion Island!
Hop Pop: Watch where you're pointin' that finger!
Polly: I would never stab Chad in the back, but one of you two would.
Sprig: Hey! Every time you point, two fingers point back!
Polly: That doesn't make any sense!
Anne: Hey! Hey, hey, hey, hey! You're all suspicious. Just look at you. Now, come on. Let's get going. The sooner we move, the sooner I get my memories back.
[growling]
[grunting]
[grunting]
[growling, grunting continues]
[grunting]
Sprig: ♪ A family
Distrusts each other ♪
♪ On a dangerous mission ♪
♪ Like the nearly naked humans
On the island of Suspicion ♪
♪ Peruvia, Felicia
And Randy, so hot ♪
♪ Beguiling, hostile-ing ♪
♪ We're all
Suspicious isle-ing ♪
Hop Pop: Quiet, boy. Look! There's one now! A zapapede!
Anne: Oh, looks pretty cute.
[creaking]
Hop Pop: Step lightly, everyone. This thing doesn't look like it can take much weight.
[grunting]
[Sprig continues grunting]
[yawns]
Hop Pop: Huh.
Anne: 'Sup, HP?
Hop Pop: Sprig sure looks tired, doesn't he? Awfully suspicious. And don't call me HP.
Polly: The old man's a lying snake, but he does have a point.
[creaks]
Sprig: You guys talkin' scum?
Hop Pop: What? No, no. No, no, no.
Sprig: Hmm. Psst, Anne.
[groans]
Anne: Excuse me, HP.
Hop Pop: [grumbles]
Sprig: I want to find out who's guilty just as much as you do. Let me help you.
Polly: Oh, no, you don't! You were trying to Chad her into trusting you!
Sprig: And you're trying to Vivica her into not trusting me!
Polly: Oh, and look at Hop Pop trying to Randy his way out of this.
Hop Pop: I don't even know what that means!
Anne: Guys, cut it out. You're gonna--
[all screaming]
[electricity zapping]
[loud crash]
[all groaning]
Anne: Rope bridge? More like nope bridge.
[groans]
Hop Pop: [gasps] Look! Down there! More zapapedes! They're pretty far down.
Anne: Hmm. Oh! Let's just link arms and lower someone down, just like the teens did in episode eight.
Sprig: Ha! So that Polly can drop us to cover her tracks, just like Vivica did in the very same episode?
Polly: You callin' me a Vivica?
Sprig: Maybe...
[shouts]
[Sprig grunts]
[blows landing]
Hop Pop: Kids, no! Stop fightin'!
[grunting]
[groaning]
[grunts, screams, shouts]
Anne: Hey, cut it out, you guys. Seriously. Ow!
Sprig: Oh, sorry, Anne. You okay? [chuckles]
[Anne shouting]
[gasps]
[blows landing]
Hop Pop: Kids, no! Stop fighting!
[grunting]
Hop Pop: Eh, no. [grunting] Oh. No. I-- It was me!
[echoing]
Polly: Say what?
Sprig: Huh?
Anne: You mean--
Hop Pop: That's right, Anne. I watched all the episodes. Every single one!
Anne: But you hated Suspicion Island!
Hop Pop: Hated it? Hated it?! I LOVED it!
[thunderclap]
Hop Pop: Ever since the end of that last episode, I-I couldn't sleep. I fell in love with those crazy kids on their crazy island. I couldn't get enough! I did the only thing I could.
Hop Pop: I snuck out to the livin' room to watch another episode.
[slurping]
[grunting]
Hop Pop: I vowed only to watch one, but Suspicion Island had its hooks in me! And before I realized what had happened, I'd finished the season!
[gasps] [rooster crows]
Hop Pop: With dawn approaching, I covered my tracks and made my escape.
Flashback Anne: Come on, guys! It's time to get...suspicious.
[thunderclap]
Anne: Unbelievable.
Sprig: What a twist!
Hop Pop: But now, I'm gonna make things right. I will redeem myself!
[screaming]
Anne: Hop Pop!
Hop Pop: I'm okay!
[zapping]
Hop Pop: You know, it's actually kinda relaxing!
[whimpers, screams]
[panting]
[groaning]
[pants, whimpers]
[screaming]
Sprig: He can't last much longer!
Polly: We have to work together!
[exhales]
[grunts]
Anne: Almost. Nearly there. Got him! Oh, wait a second.
[screams]
[screams]
[all screaming]
[sniffing]
[all groaning]
Hop Pop: Holy smokes. That's a lot of percents.
Anne: So, you love Suspicion Island, huh?
Hop Pop: Yeah... [sighs] And I'm sorry I lied and drained your memory box. Can you ever forgive this old, silly frog?
Anne: Dude, you just risked your life to recharge my phone. I think we're square.
Polly: Aw. Really glad I didn't push you off a cliff like I was planning.
Sprig: [laughs] Me too, Polly. Me too.
Hop Pop: All right, enough fiddle-faddling. We gotta get home so you guys can finish the season. If I don't talk to someone about it soon, I'm gonna explode! I mean, that part where the island itself is revealed to actually be--
Polly: No!
Sprig: Oh, come on!
Anne: Dude, spoilers!