| Speaker
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Dialogue
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| (The episode begins with Anne and the Plantars crossing a dark path at night.)
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| Hop Pop
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All right, kids! We're about to hit the Dry Swamp. (offers Anne a canteen) Here, Anne. You're gonna wanna hydrate.
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| Anne
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That's okay, dude. It's still a swamp. (snaps her fingers) How dry could it be...
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| (The next day...)
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| Anne
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(dried out; takes the canteen while Sprig still has it) Gimme that stuff!
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| Sprig
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Whee!
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| Hop Pop
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(chuckles) Welcome to the Dry Swamp, Anne! Home to giant frog-eating sandworms. Bandits. Vagabonds. You'd know (shows them a scroll) if you'd ever read the classic play, "Fear the Dry Swamp".
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| Anne
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(While Polly complains) Oh, brother.
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| Sprig
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He's gonna act.
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| Hop Pop
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(Starts acting dramatically as a spotlight appears on him) "Hark. For I am homeless. I am friendless. I am the Dry Swamp." (The reflector disappears.) You know, (As he rolls up the scroll) I was this close to getting the lead part once.
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| Sprig
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You don't say...
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| Anne
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Uh-huh.
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| Hop Pop
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Yep. Before I was a farm frog, your Hop Pop had dreams. Next life, I suppose.
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| (Suddenly, a sandworm from the desert appears and prepares to attack them. Anne and the Plantars scream and escape, but the sandworm pursues them. An unknown amphibian riding a large beetle suddenly appears.)
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| Unknown
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Hey, you! Head towards that dune! We've got a caravan on the other side and this thing's spooked by numbers!
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| Hop Pop
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What?
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| (The amphibian flies to a part and returns with a caravan surrounding Anne and the Plantars, in order to confuse the sandworm, which leaves.)
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| Hop Pop
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Yee-hay! (The amphibian returns to earth.) Hey, thanks for your help out there.
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| Unknown
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Don't mention it. You know, you folks really shouldn't be out here on your own. Haven't you ever read "Fear the Dry Swamp"?
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| Hop Pop
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You know that play?
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| Unknown
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Know it? Ha! I directed it! (takes off her hood and scarf and reveals her caravan) Renee Frodgers is the name and managing this acting troupe is my game.
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| Hop Pop
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An acting troupe? Here?
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| Anne
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Wow. What are the chances?
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| Renee
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Say, why don't you folks join our caravan? We could use extra stagehands and you know what they say: "Safety in numbers!"
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| Hop Pop
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(Excited) We're in!
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| (Anne and the Plantars go down to look inside the trailer. Renee opens the front door.)
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| Renee
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Welcome to our humble operation.
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| Hop Pop
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(gasps)
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| Actor 1
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To be or not to be.
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| Hop Pop
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(As Renee guides them) Ooh! Ah! Oh!
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| Renee
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Hey, Francis! Show these youngsters to the kids' wagon.
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| François
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As you wish, madam. I am François, heir to House D'arncool.
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| Renee
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He's method.
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| Sprig and Polly
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Uh...
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| Anne
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He's what-what?
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| Hop Pop
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It means he embodies a character on and off set! Duh!
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| Renee
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Ha! Ha! Sharp as a tack, HP. Care to join me in my trailer? I'd love to pitch you our latest production.
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| Hop Pop
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WOULD I?!
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| (Renee takes Hop Pop to the place while he gets turned on.)
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| François
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(clears throat) You three are free to join me if you wish. Ha! Ha! (runs away)
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| Sprig
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Wow. That guy... is the coolest kid I've ever met! Let's go with him!
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| Polly
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(jumps into Sprig's hands) I'm in.
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| Sprig and Polly
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Yeah!
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| Anne
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Absolutely not! (Sprig and Polly stop.) I was in a school play once. It was awful, and this place is bringing back... memories.
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| (A flashback begins showing Anne as a child. She's dressed as a tooth.)
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| Kid Anne
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♪ I'm a tooth That's the truth ♪
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| (Anne collides with the wooden toothbrush and sets a fire throughout the theater, causing panic to the other children.)
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| (Back to the present...)
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| Anne
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Four out of five dentists agreed, I was traumatized. Anyways, see you dudes later, (shows them a box of puzzles) I've got a complicated jigsaw puzzle with my name on it! (whispering it) Yes, my babies. Yes.
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| Sprig
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Mm, (he and Polly leave) okay. Bye.
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| (Back with Hop Pop and Renee...)
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| Renee
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Here we are! Excuse the mess. We're in the middle of casting our lead. But none of the candidates are popping, you know?
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| Hop Pop
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Well, what are you looking for?
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| Renee
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Uh, older gent. Rough around the edges, but still has a good heart. Someone like you, actually. Too bad you're not an actor.
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| Hop Pop
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(clears throat) Actually, I am... an actor.
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| Renee
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That so? Huh, you wanna audition?
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| Hop Pop
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(Starts acting dramatically as a spotlight appears on him) "Hark. For I am homeless. I am friendless. I am..."
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| Renee
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(Reflector disappears) Stop! You're hitting me, but you're not knocking me out. Know what I mean?
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| Hop Pop
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No.
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| Renee
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You're not right for the part.
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| Hop Pop
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(worried) Oh.
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| Renee
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Super! Guess we're all done here then. (orders some papers, but notices that Hop Pop is still standing) That was your cue to leave.
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| (Meanwhile, in another part of the caravan, Spring and Polly observe some child actors.)
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| Sprig
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(sighs) These kids are so cool. If only I could be one of them.
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| Polly
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Eh, it can't be that hard. Here!
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| (Polly pushes Sprig and he collides with François accidentally.)
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| François
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Hey! Watch it!
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| Sprig
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(nervous) Heh. Sorry. I'm Sprig by the way.
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| (The children gasp for Sprig. He gets confused.)
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| François
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We don't use our real names here. For we must become our characters.
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| Sprig
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Well, then I'm... Spruueg Plantoir. Your... (grabs a wooden sword) nemesis. En garde!
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| François
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(slaps the sword out of Sprig's hand) I don't believe you.
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| Sprig
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(sighs) C'mon Polly, let's get outta here. (notices that Polly disguised herself) Huh?
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| Polly
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Who's Polly, governor? I'm Lydia Davenport. The black widow.
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| François
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Ignore him, Lydia. He clearly doesn't have enough... character.
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| (The children laugh at Sprig. He asks Polly for support, but she shrugs and joins in.)
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| Polly
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(laughs) Character.
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| Sprig
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I'm gonna get in with this group if it's the last thing I do.
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| (Back with Hop Pop and Renee...)
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| Renee
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Okay, Hopediah, this is starting to get a little sad.
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| Hop Pop
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Sad? Sad! I'll tell you what's sad. Sad is having a dream that will never come true. Sad is knowing you'll never be more than a vegetable farmer. But you know what? I'd still rather be sad and have a dream, than live life without one. (Renee claps for him) Huh?
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| Renee
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Now that's what I've been looking for. Theater is truth, and, baby, (she gives him a medal) you just served up a heaping spoonful. You got the lead part, Hopediah. (Hop Pop gasps.) Now, let's get this show on the road. Literally.
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| (A montage begins in which Hop Pop becomes a great actor during the tour, while Sprig and Anne are frustrated to achieve their current goals.)
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| (Hop Pop comes out of his dressing room and goes to Renee's while whistling. He knocks on the door.)
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| Hop Pop
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Say, Renee, I've got a dialogue suggestion for page 9 that could... (the door opens) Huh? Renee?
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| Renee
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So the next town's bank has two guards unarmed. We wait till Hopediah's big death scene, then (hits the table) take 'em out.
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| Hop Pop
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(clears throat) Excuse me, is this a bad time?
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| Renee
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Ah, nuts. Boys, will you give us a moment?
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| (The two strongmen leave the dressing room.)
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| Hop Pop
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Renee, wha... What's going on?
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| Renee
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Well, Hop Pop, since you're the lead, I'll level with ya. We're trying to find the best way to rob this next town blind. (offers him a drink) Care for a drink?
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| Hop Pop
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Oh, no, thank you. Wait, what?! Why?
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| Renee
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Truth be told, there's not much coin in theater these days. We're barely scraping by as is. So we travel from town to town and while people are transfixed by our amazing plays... Blamo! We take what we deserve.
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| Hop Pop
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But this is wrong!
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| Renee
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What's wrong is how under-appreciated the arts are. Besides, we only take what we need and just think about what this play means to you. You're the lead. [grunts] Every dream has its price, am I right?
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| Hop Pop
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Well...
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| Renee
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That's the spirit. (takes him out of the dressing room) We'll see you tomorrow for the big night. (closes the door)
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| (Hop Pop is distraught and goes to ask Anne for help. He slams the door so hard he scares her just as she is about to put on the last piece of the puzzle.)
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| Hop Pop
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Anne! The play's a distraction for a bank robbery. On one hand, that's awful. But on the other hand, we need to support the arts, right?
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| Anne
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What? No! They're using you to commit crimes. You can't just pretend you don't know that.
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| Hop Pop
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Hmm. I probably could. I'm a very good actor, you know. Thanks for the advice, Anne.
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| (Hop Pop leaves. Anne notices that the puzzle is somewhat messed up by Hop Pop's table knocks. Then she continues with her own business, but then Sprig arrives for help.)
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| Sprig
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Anne! The theater kids don't like me.
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| Anne
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(grunts) Seriously? It doesn't matter what those theater dorks think.
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| Sprig
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You're right. It matters what they feel. I just have to speak to their hearts. Thanks, Anne. Bye.
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| (Sprig leaves. Anne gets frustrated, but Polly comes through the window.)
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| Polly
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Anne! I love you, girl!
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| Anne
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I love you too, dude!
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| (At night, a new Hop Pop show starts in Banksville.)
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| Banksville Person 1
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I hear these guys are good.
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| Banksville Person 2
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I'm excited.
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| Renee
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(looks at the bank) (chuckles)
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| (Start the show.)
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| Hop Pop
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I am a common frog. Yet my soul burns with the spirit of... (raises his wooden sword and together with some actors, makes a musical performance) revolution!
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| Sprig
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François! (pushes a couple of kids away) François! (grunts) François, just hear me out. I've always wanted to be a part of a gang of friends and if you give me a chance, we can become more than just a group of friends. We can become a family.
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| Francois
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Ugh! What are you talking about?
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| Sprig
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You know what, François, I'm sick of this. Keep your snotty attitude and your dumb accent. I'm out! (goes)
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| François
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That intensity. That hatred. Now, this I believe. You're in!
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| Sprig
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(returns in a pirate costume) Yay!
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| (The Hop Pop show continues, meanwhile, Renee is about to execute her plan together with her 2 strongmen.)
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| Renee
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All right, boys. That's our cue. (they beat up the bank guards)
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| (Back with Hop Pop...)
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| Actor 2
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Cease this nonsense, Archibald Hopperdink. Join us and we'll make all your dreams come true.
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| Hop Pop
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Never. Only a selfish frog would put his own dreams against the needs of others. Against justice, against... righteousness. (looks at his poster and realizes the mistake he's making) (sighs) Goodbye, my dream. Didn't know you long, but you were a swell fella.
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| Actor 2
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(checks the script) I, uh... I don't remember this part.
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| Hop Pop
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(speaks to the public) Everyone, this is a sham! (pulls out his fake beard and points to Renee and the 2 strongmen) They're robbing you blind!
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| (The audience turns to Renee and the 2 hefty guys, gasp and just the 3 of them stop.)
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| Renee
|
The jig is up, boys. Every frog for themselves!
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| (Renee pushes the hefty man on her right into the crowd. Renee jumps into it and then into Hop Pop, as she loses her boots, and with a somersault, she goes to the driver's seat of the trailer and flees. A sandworm senses their presence.)
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| (Meanwhile, Anne finally finishes her puzzle.)
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| Anne
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Finally! (The shaking messes up the puzzle again, which she screams in frustration.)
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| (Back with Hop Pop, he goes to the top of the trailer and goes after Renee. He manages to get to her.)
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| Renee
|
Dah! You idiot! What about your big break? Your dream?
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| Hop Pop
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That's the thing about dreams, Renee. Sooner or later you gotta wake up!
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| (Renne kicks Hop Pop, and pulls a lever to free herself from the load, leaving the other wagons behind.)
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| Hop Pop
|
Renee!
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| Renee
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Ha-ha!
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| (The sandworm comes out to dock Renee.
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| (The sandworm gives it a huge push.)
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| Renee
|
Now that's dramatic.
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| Hop Pop
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I gotcha! I gotcha! (Renee ends up behind him) Oops. Kinda misjudged that arc. (the blind bag falls on Renee)
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| (Minutes later, the police handcuff Renee.)
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| Renee
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(while she's being taken away by the police) Philistines! Barbarians!
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| Sheriff
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(talking Hop Pop) Hey, thanks a lot for helping us out, actor guy.
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| Hop Pop
|
Aw, don't mention it.
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| Sheriff
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And you're sure you didn't know nothing about this robbery beforehand?
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| Hop Pop
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Scout's honor.
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| (Anne gets out of the wagon, covered in puzzle pieces and very enraged.)
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| Anne
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(grunts) Dude! I told you not to help them rob a bank! [The sheriff looks at Hop Pop suspicious.]
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| Hop Pop
|
(laughs nervously) Uh, she's joking. Uh, good one, Anne.
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| Sprig
|
Hey, Hop Pop, we joined the theater gang!
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| Polly
|
Just like you.
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| (Hop Pop grabs Sprig, Polly, and Anne and leads them back to the fwagon.)
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| Hop Pop
|
Silly, kids, making jokes. Well, gotta go. Bye! Yah!
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| (Anne and the Plantars leave in a hurry.)
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| Anne
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(as she leans out the window) Movies are better!
|
