15 Things Paula Deen Should Talk About on Her New Podcast

Disgraced foodperson and former Food Network star Paula Deen — who was fired from her post for using racist language in front of her employees — announced the launch of her new podcast in partnership with Compass Media. But what will "Get Cooking With Paula Deen" be about? Paula Deen’s done a lot of talking this year (and so has her publicity team), so what could she possibly have left to say? Here are some topics Deen could chit-chat about:

1) How parents can avoid playing favorites with their children (even though Bobby is clearly The Good One)

2) How to have a successful second career moonlighting as a cruise ship activities director (while dodging adoring, rabid fans)

3) How the 100 black kids she mentors with Steve Harvey are really the ones who mentor her

4) How promoting a well-buttered lifestyle has impacted the trendy kids slurping down bulletproof coffee

5) How to best implement a specialty butter line (sold exclusively at Walmart), and how to pair said specialty butter with fried butter balls

6) Paula's thoughts on margarine

7) Paula's thoughts on coconut oil

8) Paula's thoughts on olive oil (i.e. "olive ole")

9) Paula's thoughts on Southern Vowel Shift

10) The empowering aspects of starting your own network when no one else will hire you

11) How to pick your husband Michael’s beard hair out of your Ooey Gooey Butter Cake — or how to pick the cake out of his beard

12) How Paula keeps her eyes so blue (Also, a convenient segue to a panel on how to draw inspiration while designing a line of discount designer eyewear)

13) How it feels to edge out Wilford Brimley as the new face of diabetic lifestyle management

14) How Paula worked up the courage to ride Robert Irvine around like a horse on stage at the South Beach Wine and Food Festival

15) How Paula deals with the cruel, sudden fame of viral stardom after having a Tumblr dedicated to riding things around