Tim's journal

So, I had stage II of my surgery (link goes directly to probably-TMI details; do not pass Go, do not collect $200) and everything went fine, except that, unfortunately, there will be a stage III. I meant to do a post-surgery summary post, and then horrible complications happened, and I wanted even more to write a post explaining what happened and why I had no regrets anyway... but anyway, that hasn't happened yet. But, I still want to write up everything that happened post-first-surgery!

This is not that post, though. So, I had IV sedation, which means you're sort-of-conscious during surgery but can't really feel anything. You're not supposed to remember things that happened while you were sedated, either, but I do, both from this time and the previous one. This time I was pretty awake for what I'd guess was the last 20 minutes of the surgery, not feeling any pain or anything, but able to listen to my surgeon talking to the nurses. They were talking about Portland for whatever reason and the doctor was describing a poster he saw when he first moved to Portland, and how it showed this guy standing with his back to the camera while opening his trench coat (which, it was implied, there was nothing under it) to a sculpture. And also, the guy was the mayor of Portland at one point. Then he said what the caption of the photo was. I don't remember what he said, but it was wrong. So I said "actually, it said 'Expose Yourself to Art'" and he was like "oh, you're right". (Possibly after that they gave me more drugs, I don't know :P)

Moral of story: I won't pass up the opportunity to correct someone who is wrong, even while they're literally operating on me :P (It's this poster.)

As I drive from your pearly gates
I realize that I just can't stay
All those mountains, they kept you locked inside
And hid the truth from my slighted eyes

I came to you with a half-open heart
Dreams upon my back, illusions of a brand-new start
Nashville
Can't I carry the load
Is it my fault?
I can't reap what I sow
Nashville
Did you give me half a chance?
With your Southern style and your hidden dance away
And you dance away and you dance away

All these voices, they whisper through my walls
They talk of falling fast, they say I'm losing it all
They say I'm running blind to a love of my own
But I'll be walking proud, I'm saving what I still own

I fell on my knees to kiss your land
But you are so far down, I can't even see to stand
Nashville
You forgot the human race
You see with half a mind
What colors hide the face
Nashville
I'd like to know your fate
I'd like to stay awhile
but I've seen your lowered state today
I've seen it today, honey
I swear I've seen it today

Now I'm leaving, I got all these debts to pay
You know we all have our dues, I'll pay 'em some other place
I never ask that you pay me back
We all arrive with more
I left with less than I had

Your town is made for people passing through
A last chance for a cause I thought I knew
Nashville
Tell me what you are gonna do
With all your Southern style, it'll never pull you through
Nashville
I can't place no blame
But if you forget my face
I'll never call your name again
No, never again
Oh, never again

I fell on my knees to kiss your land
But you were so far down and I can't even see to stand
Nashville
You forgot the human race
You see with half a mind
What colors hide the face
Nashville
I'd like to know your fate
I'd like to stay a while
But I've seen your lowered state today
I've seen 'em today, honey I swear I've seen 'em today
I'm running away, I'm running away
I'm running, I'm running, I'm running away

-- Amy Ray

Things we learned from a seven-member grand jury yesterday:

- Vegan, bike-riding cops can do no wrong.
- Expect to see more instances of the "Two shots to make a guy drop a knife, two more to make sure there's no trial" strategy in 2010.
- When approached by a guy who's been attempting to kill himself with an X-acto knife, it's perfectly appropriate to reach for your gun first despite being equipped with a baton, a taser, and pepper spray.

But most of all:
- If you're mentally ill, you're disposable. If you're homeless, you're disposable. If you're both, a jury of Portlanders will work as hard as they can to let you know that your life doesn't matter.

- Election '10 (This Time, Why Not Ask Corporations To Pay More Than $10?) update: last night: 100 calls, one reasonable conversation with an undecided voter. Today it only took 40 calls to get to that one reasonable conversation. There's nothing like the satisfaction of fulfilling one's civic responsibilities. Coming back on Friday.

Overheard from another volunteer: "So I told him if it was Communist, it would be *tanks*, not a *tax*."

- Muddy Waters has changed, but their open mic night is still as crappy. Or maybe they just need to realize that you don't need to turn the volume up to 13 when your venue is the size of my apartment.
- - Oh my god, the "poet" on stage just rhymed "Pentium" with "millenium".

- Tonight I can say, if nothing else, that I'm Massachusetts by birth but Oregonian by choice. (Hey, at least I live in a state that has two Democratic senators.)

- ETA (link thanks to juli): Thank $DEITY that white people can use overpriced crap to make their way to safety while stepping over dead bodies without needing to inconvenience themselves by helping. Truly, it's good to know that in these troubled times, white people are doing all right.

My roommate, who has been a fine roommate to me for the past year, is moving out, and I'm looking for a replacement. If you know of anyone looking to share an apartment in Portland, please pass this on to them. Thanks!

As seen on http://portland.craigslist.org/mlt/roo/1533627195.html -

1 bedroom available February 1 in a 2-bedroom apartment on 50th and E. Burnside, two blocks from the 20 bus line, about a 10-minute walk from the 19 bus line, 5-minute walk from a 24-hour grocery store (QFC), 15-minute walk from either the Hollywood or NE 60th MAX stations. The apartment is generally pretty quiet. Rent is $360/month; electricity tends to be $18-$35 a month for each roommate (it runs higher in winter because heat is electric). If you want to share wireless Internet service, that's another $12.50/month. This is a modestly sized room, so no couples, please. The living room/kitchen/dining area are spacious. There's a balcony overlooking a courtyard that's pretty nice to hang out in during the summer (with lawn chairs/barbecue grill/etc.) Off-street parking is available. Space for bikes inside the apartment is also available. Apartment is on second floor with no elevator.

About me: 29-year-old queer guy, PhD student / research assistant in the computer science department at Portland State, amateur singer, volunteer tutor, vegetarian, feminist, agnostic Quaker meeting attender, native New Englander, ex-Californian, socialist. I'm car-free and ride my bike to work every day. I have two rabbits. Cats are allowed and I'm a cat lover. Non-TV-watcher, non-smoker, non-drug-user, and I don't drink at home aside from the occasional glass of wine. (Smokers are OK as long as you smoke on the balcony or outside. 420 is OK with the same rule as long as it's not a big part of your life.) I'm in the office roughly 10am-6pm on business days, and I would prefer someone who works the same hours or who leaves for work earlier than I do. I'm quiet; if I listen to music, it's with headphones. The exception is that I'd like to practice music before I leave for work in the mornings, so someone who leaves for work slightly before I do (so, before 9:30 AM) would be ideal. I have friends over occasionally, and have been pretty successful keeping common spaces clean in this apartment. I'm the kind of roommate who will wash a dish again if I find one that hasn't been cleaned enough, rather than complaining about it, and would like to live with someone who would do the same for me. I'd prefer to keep the house meat-free, but we could talk about that. I plan on living in Portland no longer than three more years, and thus in this apartment no longer than three more years.

I'm kink-friendly, trans-friendly, fat-friendly, and poly-friendly (though most of these labels aren't a big part of my life). I'm not home a lot and would like to have a roommate who isn't my BFF but with whom I can carry on the occasional polysyllabic conversation. To that end, I'd prefer to live with a student, professional, activist, artist, or basically anybody who has an inner life consisting of more than beer and video games (those things are cool, but if they're your entire life, we probably shouldn't live together). Please be either between the ages of 25 and 50 or ready to persuade me as to why your compatibility with me makes up for your age. If you're a libertarian, a religious fundamentalist, an anti-religion atheist, someone who "doesn't see color" or blames racism/sexism/homophobia/transphobia/other "-isms" on bad individuals rather than systemic biases, or politically apathetic, then we probably won't get along.

As of yesterday, I have been a graduate student at Portland State for longer than I was a graduate student at Berkeley.

That also means that I've been at Portland State longer than I've had any other job.

Shooting for thesis proposal by my 30th birthday (December 2010) and graduating in 2012, btw.

My roommate, Jenny, may be moving out of our apartment come October 1, which sucks because she's the best roommate I've ever had. But, my loss may be your gain! If you're interested in living in a 2-bedroom apartment in between the North Tabor and Mount Tabor neighborhoods in Portland's east side, minutes' walking from a 24-hour grocery store (QFC) and the 20 and 19 bus lines, or know someone else who is interested, let me know. Walking distance from MAX and the Hawthorne/Belmont and Hollywood neighborhoods, cat-friendly, and the best part: only $360/month plus utilities. Vegetarian roommate preferred (or at least someone who's willing not to bring meat into the house).

I'll know for sure whether the room is available by the end of August. If it is available, and you want to move in sooner than October 1, that may be possible to arrange, because I'm going to be out of town 8/27-9/16.

If you know any queer-friendly folks looking for housing, preferably 25+ years of age, please pass this along to them! Thanks!

Today I went on two of the three World Naked Bike Ride events in Portland. The message of WNBR, besides that biking naked is hella fun, is that cyclists are always naked, because we face vulnerabilities that people encased in sheet metal don't.

I arrived at the 2pm ride at Glisan Circle with just enough time to take off my clothes before we headed off. There were about 100-150 people for most of the first half of the ride. We rode all over the inner east side; highlights included Hawthorne, Broadway (butts over Broadway!), and Alberta, where we ended up riding through one of the Pedalpalooza events. On Broadway, my friend Kenny, who was bringing up the rear (so to speak), got hit by a car; the driver, who I guess was late for their manicurist appointment or whatever, deliberately hit him (at slow speed). Kenny was OK, the bike wasn't, and enough information was obtained that the perp will presumably be brought to justice. Some hints, folks: (1) deliberately hitting someone with your car in front of about 100 witnesses is a bad idea; (2) claiming you didn't see a naked cyclist in broad daylight is probably not going to hold up in court. Other than that, the ride was almost amazingly free of hostility. Most people we passed by were supportive. I heard reports that a few parents covered their kids' eyes, which is not exactly sending a good message. But on the whole, it was a peaceful and fun event, and when else do you get to overhear things like "His penis is painted green!"

After Alberta, a bit less than half of us continued downtown over the Steel Bridge bikeway. We rode by Saturday Market and the Pride festival and then up to Pioneer Square. I ended up not-particularly-willingly leading the ride briefly because seemingly no one else knew how to get to Pioneer Square from Waterfront Park (?!) I wanted to ride by the Park Blocks, but we took the Hawthorne Bridge back to the east side after that. My second suggestion, Lloyd Center, also got vetoed, and from the Eastbank Esplanade we returned to Glisan Circle by way of Salmon, 21st, Stark (starkers on Stark!), and 28th.

Then I rode home and finished writing up my final exam.

The Official Ride(tm) was to leave from NW 22nd and Nicolai at 11:59pm. Around 10:45pm I rode from SE over to the site with some folks who I'd been at a party with. We took the Hawthorne Bridge and then the Waterfront Park trail all the way north to where it connects with Naito, and then to Front. I didn't know that the end of that trail was open now; last time I was on it, when I used to live in Goose Hollow, it dead-ended at the Steel Bridge. The sheer numbers of people on the official ride were amazing, but it was a bit anticlimactic compared to the daylight ride. A lot of the fun of the earlier ride was watching people react to something they weren't expecting, but the second ride had people lined up along the edges who knew what they were in for, as if it was the fucking Boston Marathon or something. Also, the cops did some direction of traffic to allow us to keep flowing smoothly for the most part, which is ok, but effectively kept us off the bridges, which wasn't so ok. Never assume you are getting a free lunch from the cops. After going almost all the way down Burnside but not across the bridge, we looped back north through the Pearl and ended up back at the starting point around 1:20am. At that point the people I'd come with decided to ride home and I headed home too (wearing NOTHING AT ALL underneath my reflective vest).

It's interesting how friendly the drivers were, particularly on the earlier, more spontaneous ride where they weren't expecting it, compared to Critical Mass rides I've been on in the past. Being naked makes all the difference, I guess -- I'm tempted to try commuting naked. I'm also glad to have given the world a little bit of exposure to what trans bodies look like, even if most people who saw me may not have realized they were seeing a trans body. It was nice to get a reminder of why having top surgery in two weeks will be a good thing (riding without a bra, much less shirt = bouncy, though it was less uncomfortable than I'd feared it would be), but also nice to get some sun on my entire body for the first time as far as I can remember and probably for the last time before it gets reconfigured. It was fun. Try it next year!

ETA: Someone took some pictures of the daylight ride. I'm in one of them, but good luck finding me.

Hello interwebs,

Those of you what are in and about Oregon should come hear the Oregon Sinfonietta, a fine ensemble in which I play cello, a week from tomorrow, January 25 at 3:00 PM. The concert is free and at the Sunnyside Seventh Day Adventist Church, 10501 SE Market St. in Portland.

The program:
* Gade – Echoes of Ossian Overture, op. 1
* Appert – In the Similitude of a Dream
* David – Concertino for Trombone
* Haydn – Symphony No. 104 “London”

All good stuff.