Just the other day I had told my wife I had been a fool, and I meant it sincerely. There had been an occasion for her to search through my ancient email address to which she had discovered my old correspondence with the girl I loved in high school. This was already known material but it was a doozy hearing my wife say that I was totally in love with this girl. Any letters swapped between 16/17/18/19 year olds are bound to have tons of corny and saccharine lines. I still confidently told my wife I was a fool, but she would not allow me to use such language. "This is who you were and things that you meant to say and do."

That girl I had been in love with did not reciprocate the same feelings, had dated me ever-briefly in high school, and shot me down once again before we went off to college. We kept sending each other emails and letters while we adjusted to these new chapters in our lives. I had no intent to date or see other girls because I still held out hope. 

I became a Stage Manager for the theater department in college, my sole Stage Managing credit at the Long Wharf Theatre in New Haven, and I fell head first into the torrent of hailfire and shenanigans that came with the territory. I became Jane. Commanding people through headsets, hollering cues to the sound and lighting boards, balancing timing with music and the actors' lines, making sure blocking was always correct, being the mouth piece for the director in rehearsal calling back "where to take it from", editing lines of dialogue, and creating a final finished product that was bestowed upon the public by opening night. Unmovable deadlines, infinite mistakes. But we got it right. And what a rush it was. 

It just so happens that another girl came along in this next chapter in my life, who liked me, and I broke her heart. I followed my high octane emotions vs the writing on the wall. During that Stage Managing process she had confessed her feelings for me (she ran the sound board, we had spent loooooong hours together), and I still remember what her face looked like when I pretended my high school crush was my girlfriend. I had been a fool. 

What I deeply appreciate about Broadcast News is how its romance fluidly matches the journalistic perspective. The final flash forward is vital because the balance between the facts of any given situation (Aaron) and the unbound emotions of what the heart wants (Tom) are not ultimately picked. Jane has chosen the path that determines neither better than the other but still enjoys the good qualities of both. It underlines the universal struggle of the news world in how we always want to lead with the tearjerking stuff for the ratings and stay away from the stale facts no one ever wants to hear. Love is very much like this. My personal experience echoes this exactly too, as I ended up with neither girl. Somehow this key point of moderation strikes a huge chord with me.

I was smiling and laughing while I watched this film and my wife was sitting next to me. In the middle of my laughter she told me to "keep my movie noises to myself", and all I could think about was how I married the right woman.