tromber’s review published on Letterboxd:
This is the sixth time I have watched this film since it came out and it has done so much for me. La La Land has been an invaluable friend in the last year and a half since I first saw it.
I moved to California on July 1, 2017 and now in July of 2018 I live in Los Angeles and I’m in pre-production on a short I wrote for myself to direct and on another short I originally wrote for myself to direct but ended up giving to someone else.
I have had five stress dreams about directing this short and have woken up covered in sweat after spending entire days on set in real time in my fucking nightmares. I’ve made friends that I feel I’ve known my entire life, I’ve burned bridges, I’ve learned how film sets work, I’ve learned how I want mine to run, I’ve learned just how specifically jaded and cynical and heartless the people here can be but I’ve also learned how warm and kind and wonderful they can be. I’ve figured out that the artists are smaller in number and harder to find than I’d imagined they would be but that finding them is so much more rewarding.
I’ve learned that this was the right decision for myself and I’m where I need to be. I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing or how to get where I want to go but I think I’ve made a couple of right steps here or there and a few wrong ones in between.
I needed the boost from La La Land, as silly and idealistic and magically surreal as it is, it pushed me over that last hump. It reminded me that everyone likes to talk about dreams but no one really cares if you commit or not. If you stay in one place your whole life out of fear or out of comfort, no ones going to bat an eye. Sometimes you have to acknowledge that truth in your soul and follow it. The artist that won’t shut up. The feeling that grips you that isn’t being fulfilled where you are.
I haven’t watched this film since I moved here because I was saving it for the day I needed it. And today was a bad day in a week or two of bad days, with another month or two of uncertainty and fucking hell ahead. So tonight was the night. The magic is still there. Ryan and Emma are still lovely idealists who reckon with the inherent cynicism of their dreams and surroundings and come out the other side something similar to okay. LA is simultaneously a dream and a nightmare. And it’s a comfort.
I also just realized the short I wrote, with the intention to direct next month (I have to keep saying it out loud and publicly or I’ll let myself back out and find another goddamn excuse like I always do).....is a horror version of the same story La La Land is telling. That terrible balancing act between heart and soul. The tenuous and continuous wirewalk over selling out our inner idealists at the first chance of breaking the cycle of monotony and failure. It’s a scary thing and it’s different for everyone but I’ve had the same fearful conversation with a good dozen or so people in the last year. We’re all thinking about it all the time and....I’m rambling. The point is, La La Land is wonderful and you need to just commit. The feeling isn’t going to go away, all it’s going to do is wear you down and destabilize you until you become a shadow. Follow the impossible voice. It’ll hurt and it’ll be hard but so will sitting it out, trying to squash the feeling for the rest of your life, and lying to yourself that you’re happy anyway.
Anyway, this film is still perfect and I still have nothing else to say about it in my so called review.
