Watched on Monday December 16, 2024.

Stunningly beautiful and crafted to perfection in its portrayal of the titular opera singer, Maria is a biopic in the highest octave led by an Oscar-worthy performance by Angelina Jolie, stunning visuals that immerses you into the suave-soaked city of Paris and gorgeous direction by Pablo Larraín that despite its arguably his worst in the strong women trilogy, it has to be the most poetic as a famed opera singer lives out her last days in Paris singing opera for herself, not for others.

Where’s Daddy’s Home 3? 

Where John Lithgow runs for Pope, Will Ferrell represents Iceland at Eurovision and Mel Gibson and Mark Whalberg do the exact same shit they did in the first two? 

I don’t mind waiting for true cinema.

So good to see Piers Morgan in his first acting job since leaving This Morning.  

You work them damn pigeons girl.

Sometimes there’s moments in cinema that make you snap out of the film, making you realise that this movie is not real life. 

For instance, no one, not a single person, not one person in their heart of hearts thinks that Margaret Thatcher is a saucy minx. 

I mean, some serious intervention will be needed if they do so.

Watched on Thursday December 12, 2024.

Buddy really thinks he’s in the midst of the worlds best cup of coffee. 

My boy clearly has never had a Pret A Manger.

Warning: 🚨🚨🚨

Don’t look up Subservience on Netflix because maybe, just maybe, they might try and make you watch Subservience on Netflix. 

And, obviously, we don’t want that.

Sorry my review is a bit later than expected, I was too busy doing jazzercise at 5:30. 

Had to cancel dinner with myself just to make this damn review.

Watched the British version that premiered on CBBC around 7 years ago, all that time I’ve been looking for this lost archive piece. 

And finally, I’ve found it. I’m presuming this is how the archaeologists felt when they found King Tut or The Lost City of Gold. Absolute scenes.

It’s genuinely saddening to me that a movie studio who made such empowering and thought provoking and entertaining animated movies that would rip up the Best Animated Feature category and now 14 years on from when one of their movies got a Best Picture nom, their latest flick is simply just fine.

Moana 2 clearly lacks the musical flair brought by Lin Manuel Miranda or a plot that doesn’t feel like a rehash of the first one, but definitely has the emotion and the animation to make it a semi-decent watch, although it’s probably worth noting that Disney’s last 3 Thanksgiving flicks have all been underwhelming. 

So, pick up the pace lads.

Felt like a Saturday Night Live show which to a British person is not that funny. But at the end of the day, we saw Sabrina Carpenter serve cunt as she made Espresso Martinis so who can really complain?

Watching Nutcrackers really made me think how good we had it with the people behind and on screen. Ben Stiller once was working with every studio comedy under the sun, David Gordon Green was a maestro at his own comedic game and Linda Cardellini could establish herself as a brilliant and iconic character. 

Nutcrackers really had a lot going for it, a heartwarming plot and some decent humour here and there really gave it something alongside the hectic and chaotic performances of the children (siblings in real life I’m pretty sure) . However, it falls flat multiple times and the plot which goes on and on without delving into backstory and instead adding extra padding to an already formulaic and overarching storyline really held it back as in the end, Ben Stiller’s return to comedic form should’ve been revealed with a bigger bang and a better movie.

“Even Satan can’t out trick Ticketmaster, I’m not a bot”

Dear Santa is certainly a movie and without a second through you can instantly tell this was made to be sent for streaming services. That first half until the concert scene was insufferable, cringeworthy and downright embarrassing to watch, hogging more Hollywood cliches than Scrooge and his cheddar. Fortunately, when it’s very very very stupid, it can become slightly funny but I think at that point I was laughing at how dumb it was. The second half picks it up and then it’s pretty much thrown away in those last 20 minutes with tearjerker sequences, plot holes and a strange but not surprising cameo from Ben Stiller. Jack Black is certainly the best part in Dead Santa, everyone else either can’t act or just is working with such a terrible script that they’ve just accepted there’s no point trying. 

Ultimately, Dear Santa has a fairly interesting premise and with the helm of Oscar winner Bobby Farrelly and Jack Black donning the Satan suit, I thought this might’ve been a good time. Then I realised Peter Farrelly won the Oscar, and Bobby was the one who made The Three Stooges and The Heartbreak Kid. Dear Santa is conclusively not funny or emotive enough to create a satisfyingly wicked tale for the holidays and can only really make it into the ‘so bad, it’s good’ category, even though I’d argue we give that pass to way many Christmas movies.

‘I’d be the Richard Nixon of Popes’

I’m still taken aback by Conclave, a film which was ringing with praise from all the film festivals to the point where I couldn’t wait around another month when the Americans were reiterating those praises when it got released across the pond. But now, after watching Conclave, the Oscars better be prepared of the unholy rumbling Conclave will produce. 

Ralph Fiennes surely has to be in the shout for Best Actor, he moves with such emotion and intensity as he fully embodies a man plagued by loneliness and the sentient job of being Pope which he does not want placed upon him. The supporting cast do an exquisite job, especially the performance of Tucci and the incredibly underrated and underused Isabella Rossellini, who all highlight the expressions of concealing the past, looking towards the future of the Church and the aspirations of change while dealing with the preservation of their own image. The cinematography and editing of Conclave is immaculate, as some pristine shots looked dazzling to look at and were conducted in such a bold and ethereal manner. The script and dialogue is so witty and heavy, I can guarantee that even the biggest hater of dialogue heavy movies and especially movies involving religion would be moderately intrigued by the script, as for me however, I would consider this to be a definite lock for Best Original Screenplay. Edward Berger follows on from All Quiet on the Western Front with yet another awe-inspiring awakening to one of the most important elections in history as the ideas of the preservation of faith and the consideration of the people rather than the Pope itself is thrust upon us in paramount detail. While the film also demonstrates a true angst among the Conclave, it depicts some truly extraordinary characters in a delightfully campy and Prima Donna fashion. 

The main criticism I have is the lack of exploration in the subplots that occur in that middle act, I just wish it could be explored a tad bit more considering their significance come the third act of the film. The ending has been a bit ickety-wickety for some audiences but I found it to be quite pleasant and reassuring, some will find it a satisfying twist while some will detest the ending as another unneeded twist in the Papal tale. 

In summation, Edward Berger’s adaptation of the Papal dilemma hits in all the corners as an immaculately executed thriller which expresses both a daringly powerful screenplay while serving divine performances which makes it perfect entertainment for a cold Winter Sunday before mass.

While I do appreciate the concept and the visual experimentation used by Mr.Zemeckis, ultimately Here is let down by a severely misguided approach at a non-linear plot leading to unnecessary plot lines, not enough characterisation and way too many characters that makes the story almost impossible to follow or sympathise with in the first hour. While I do love the performances of Hanks and Bettany and Wright, some characters were downright nauseating to watch their characters unfold as Zemeckis also attempts to add themes of racism and child death in order to evoke emotion despite emotional weight being the main thing Here lacks. 

Overall, Here is a sweet and somber experience undone by an overabundance of characters and storylines, a plethora of cheesy scenes that would even make The Laughing Cow cringe and a forgettable message of appreciating every moment as time progresses, while spending an hour and 45 minutes in the same frame while your respect of poor Robert diminishes as his back catalogue of classics becomes a figment of your imagination.

To be fair if Warner Brothers are willing to spend 200+ million on Joker 2, I’m sure they would be fine funding Nativity:The Musical in 3D with 5D sound.

I’m not the first to admit, but yes, Paddington in Peru is definitely the weakest outing in the franchise. 

But don’t cause for panic bear, despite its lack of heart or threat like its predecessors before it, Paddington in Peru still holds a very strong place in my heart as that whimsical bear smashes it again. 

A wholesome and sweet adventure movie with themes of keeping your family closer running through its veins as it not only kept me laughing throughout but the combo of Paddington and Antonio Banderas I could not get enough of. And Olivia Colman is once again absolutely scintillating as Mother Reverend, goated goated goated. 

Overall, while Paddington in Peru just feels like a sad breath away from Ben Whishaw’s usual outing in London, Paddington replaces it threat and heart with emotional weight and adventure for the whole family, with elements of Paul King’s creativeness still present despite the reigns handed over to Dougal Wilson. And once again and to complete the trifecta, Paddington’s politeness and whimsical charm earns him another marmalade sandwich and another picture that puts the bear back again on the map. 

And cameos people, they just keep on coming this time of year!

There’s magic, talking animals and a girl who decides not to wear uniform and dress in only pink. But the scariest thing in all of Oz is a girl the colour of green. Society, my friend. 

Conversely , I think Wicked was one of my biggest surprises of the year. Not for the obvious reasons however. The idea of a part one musical from the director of Gem and the Holograms and producer of the nepo project Dear Evan Hansen and even still stuck in my musical blues with Joker: Fólie a Deux had me very concerned whether Wicked was to be the hit that most of the internet was praying for it to be. 
But now that I’ve watched it, I can confidently say my worries have been sedated. 

Wicked manages to capture the whimsical nature of the source material while also capturing as much of its content for the big screen, albeit its overstuffed runtime which I guess is my one of two criticisms. Cynthia Erivo and Ariana Grande both dazzle as Elphaba and Galinda almost as if they were born to play this role, both performed with utter confidence and immaculate dedication that made them a joy to watch. The musical sequences and songs are both well choreographed and never felt tiring when watching them. The cinematography is just absolutely beautiful and paired with the production design of Wicked, the dedication is at its finest pirouette as it perfectly encapsulates the heavenly nature of Oz. Jonathan Bailey is so underrated in Wicked, funny, charming and wickedly talented can only partly describe his performance. The humour not going to lie was actually funny- wasn’t belly laughing or laughing throughout but was kept at a moderate pace to keep it an enjoyable ride for me. The direction by John M. Chu was brilliant once again, now I'm writing this I just remembered his brilliant efforts in In The Heights and Crazy Rich Asians. I stand corrected, John. And we cannot shy away from Bowen Yang, Michelle Yeoh, Jeff Goldblum, Bronwyn James and even Peter Dinklage and Ethan Slater for goodness sake. This cast is stacked. And that cameo, i won’t spoil but wow, a theatre fans biggest dream. 

My only big criticisms are I guess the runtime and the lighting which taints my love for the cinematography. The runtime is 2 hours and 40 minutes, my god sometimes it feels like it. The third act feels like it slows down massively, confined to one location and all other background characters at Shiz completely erased to focus on the two which I do understand that is how the Broadway production goes, it wasn’t my thang. But best believe the first two acts go so hard. The lighting unfortunately taints my praise for the cinematography, as sometimes you have beautiful and purely cinematic shots of Oz and Shiz and then you have shots which completely undertone the colour palette used in the film, rather using shadows and dark and more mustier tones in shots. That kinda annoys me cause there’s a sincere dedication to the fruitful and exhilarating Broadway version and it just feels like the lighting kind of has to underplay those vibrant tones to make it more like a movie. Why can’t they have fun with it, make it more exciting, why be boring and go outside the box? Don’t be confined to the idea of making it fantasy movies more realistic and not cinematic and otherworldly. 

Other than that, Wicked was a ride of beautiful harmony that defies the haters and soars above all musical adaptations with its exquisite production values and sensational voices at the front of the Oz cabinet. If you’re a musical fan, you will absolutely love it no questions asked. However if you’re on the end of that spectrum, I’m sure the riveting narrative twist on the Wizard of Oz will still keep you dancing in your seat.

The term Oscar Bait really gets thrown around a lot, now I understand. 

Albeit it’s probably Steve McQueen’s weakest movie to date peppered with sloppy pacing and characters about as useful to the plot as a rat is useful to the production of cocoa- Blitz is certainly brewed with absolute tension in the tint of a gorgeous wartime dressing helmed by exquisite performances from Ronan and the young and bright Elliott Heffernan who both perfectly encapsulate the tragic beauty of love and loss in the background of the Blitz.

Is this how Australians see that one Peppa Pig episode where Daddy Pig says spiders are harmless?

Watched on Monday November 18, 2024.

Lads word of warning, Matt Lucas is in Gladiator 2. This is not a joke, Matt Lucas is in Gladiator 2. 

I was incredibly hesitant going into Gladiator 2, Ridley Scott’s return to his greatest triumph as his latest films have been fun but flawed in its necessities to make it a classic. Like I don’t think I can go walking down the street anymore with the notion that I don’t mind House of Gucci and Napoleon. However, after 2 hours and 30 minutes and more days of analysing and not speculating about a Sainsbury’s meal deal, I can safely say that Gladiator 2 is an epic that will certainly leave you…entertained. 

First of all, that cast is absolutely unbelievable. Paul Mescal roars into this role as a rise to glory gladiator whose emotional weight and backstory really made his character well rounded and a treat to watch. Denzel Washington smashes it once again and the same thing can be said for Joseph Quinn and Pedro Pascal, albeit I wish to see more of those character developments in full glory. Connie Nielsen and Fred Hechinger also must be appreciated as they both become quite significant in that second half. The plot is as still gut wrenching and hard hitting as the first one, delving into the true chaos of Ancient Rome and money hungry power and world domination that still occupy the sociopolitical world of today. The set pieces and battle sequences looked immaculate, the Colosseum is built to perfection and the fight sequences were hectic, well choreographed and a bloody good time. The sequel is much more bloodier, just for clarification. The production and costume design were both insane and it’s wonderful seeing a Hollywood movie perfectly encapsulate the feeling of Ancient Rome and the rich incandescent colours and clothing really made the film a visual masterpiece, accompanied by some exquisite cinematography and shot movement which makes it one of the best looking movies this year. The films pacing is once again brilliant, as it never felt like 2 and a half hours and whizzed by incredible quickly in the midst of all the crazy big budget action sequences, this epic really moves at a pace and narrative where you can’t be disappointed in any walk of life. And that opening credits sequence, lovely jubbly. 

There could be a couple of negatives, granted. My biggest issue could be the emotional weight that ultimately doesn’t match what was given in the first one, this ultimately meant that the film had to do multiple callbacks to the first one in order to create a sense of emotional baggage. Sometimes it worked, sometimes not so much. As I said, I do wish to see more development of Pascal and Quinn but I both adored those characters so so much so can’t really complain. Although I do love some of the shots here, there certainly was a plethora of questionable shots here and there. Such as when Ridley decided to do a tracking POV of all the vagabonds begging for food to the camera, despite the gladiators not being that low nor them having food due to them being…well…slaves. But, again, it’s a shot in a shit ton of shots so. 

In the end, Gladiator 2 is a bloody good spectacle that marks an epic return to form for Ridley in his best movie since The Martian almost 10 years prior. Rather than tarnishing its predecessor, it adds upon it with scene strengthening powerhouses Washington and Mescal while having a bloody phenomenal team behind it making a visual extravaganza that echoes gladiator movies before it and aspires many gladiator movies yet to come. 

And, remember, if someone tries to tell you the newspaper was created in the 15th century- just show them this movie to prove them wrong. It doesn’t matter if they’re right, what Ridley says goes.

From a Friday night rather than a Saturday Night, the film Saturday Night is the latest ensemble movie to hit that applause sign with no effort required. 

The film does struggle with its over abundance of characters, resulting in an overstuffed movie where you can’t really enjoy or empathise with most of the character’s problems- perhaps with about 10-15 more minutes added onto the screen time we could have a bit more of a nuanced movie but to be honest I wouldn’t want to give the audience a bigger panic attack than they already did. And I heard some criticism of the Chevy Chase portrayal, he was in the Hot Tub Time Machine movies he deserves this. 

But other than that, I really liked Saturday Night. Imagine Uncut Gems on a late night sketch show, it was absolutely brilliant. Reitman’s incision of anxiety into that script whether it be through the high paced editing or quick witty banter based dialogue that just made Saturday Night one of the most exhilarating experiences all year. Its ensemble cast gels well, the comedy is witty and well crafted and seap into the quality and dedication put into each sequence. Long shots and some of the camera tracking makes the movie look incredible. 

Overall, Saturday Night is certainly flawed but Jason Reitman steers the comedy ship with Dylan O’Brien and duo for the future  Gabriel LaBelle and Cooper Hoffman at the helm to make this a jazzy ensemble piece that highlights the hectic essence of this New York posse of comedians on one of the most significant nights of American television. 

Now this is the third new movie this week alone with J.K Simmons in it. You think you can pack it in now mate? 
Loved the little Spider Man reunion with Willem Dafoe but come on now here?

I have to be honest, this has to be one of the most daring movies this year. 

Emilia Perez certainly has some problemos on its hands. Its adaptation as a musical is unnecessary, the campiness was underwhelming and the themes and musical sequences fail to make the grade to be fractionally memorable. However, under this tortilla is some exquisite performances from Saldana and Sofia Gascón as the titular character, the music was actually decent in some aspects when it’s focused on its more darker themes and the editing and lighting is bold and provocative that makes it unlike any other musical we’ve seen in the past decade. 

In summary, Emilia Perez offers a very baseline assessment of the influence of the cartel in Mexico and the themes of identity- culminating in a decently directed musical with some brilliant performances but lacking in a decent script or unique identity of its own which can lean it in the right direction, ultimately struggling to hold the balance of Mexican cartel thriller and campy outspoken musical.

Well this is one way to get into the Christmas spirit. 

The only positive for Red One is that it’s a fun ride, I never got bored and it’s pretty entertaining for the most part. And for Christmas times sake, I did enjoy that middle act I guess with it being an entertaining and peculiar ride on the way. 

That is it. The negatives grow far and wide. The movie is not funny, I probably laughed about twice in this, the performances and chemistry is lacking so much as everyone felt like they were raining it in for the most part and we’re here for a paycheck. The plot is almost non-existent as we jump from one place to another and the dialogue is woeful for the most part. 

The main problem I have with Red One is that it really really struggles with its tone. On one hand, it wants to be this light hearted Christmas action movie like Kasdan has done before in Jumanji but on the other hand you have this foul mouthed kidnap movie that Seth Rogen would’ve made in his prime. And in the end, these two just are never able to mix together and make a coherent and non messy movie but my god it couldn’t do that if it tried. Plot points like more kids being on the naughty list are completely dropped and the idea of a techno-stylised North Pole just felt so off to me. The editing is woeful in some action scenes, the CGI for $250 million feels lacklustre and not even the performances of J.K Simmons could resuscitate this Brussels sprout of a movie. Even the villain of this movie is so forgettable it’s unbelievable, and the talents of Simmons, Lucy Liu, Nick Kroll and fucking Krampus feel so wasted. 

Overall, Red One is an absolute turkey of a movie that needs tinsel and Christmas lights to rejuvenate the experience because other than that, the experience of watching Red One very nearly makes you sympathise with The Grinch and Scrooge. Maybe I’ll watch it again nearer Christmas when I’m more in the crimbo spirit, because if I’m honest, this movie is the last thing you want to unwrap this festive period.

I told my mate who is a massive Radiohead fan to watch this movie. I’m expecting him to be a totally different man when he comes out of it a changed man. 

Most likely after hearing Hugh Grant’s monopoly analogy and Chloe East’s fast food knockout rounds. 

Truly scintillating.

For a film by a highly established director that’s been releasing movies with the same studio for decades to get his seemingly final flick to be only released in 50 theatres in the US and 300 theatres in the UK, my shock cannot even be described when I actually watched the film and saw how good it was. 

Once again, and potentially for the final time, Clint Eastwood shows the cinematic mastermind he truly is as Juror #2 is one of the best movies this year. An exquisite performance from Nicholas Hoult is just the start as the entire cast puts the hard graft in here. The story is utterly nail biting and really gets into you in that last 30 minutes, but what really made this more exceptional than any court movie this decade was that it converts the usual legal thriller or political drama by challenging the state system by including themes of guilt, justice and doing the right thing which really made it stick out from the crowd in my opinion. The lighting and editing here is just so impressive, you can tell the people behind it are so dedicated with their craft and it just made the film look 10 times as more brilliant that it actually was. The score was sensational, shame they didn’t have the score from the trailer considering that’s one of my favourite original score pieces this year. The camera movement is brilliant as I saw some of the boldest and exquisitely made shots this entire year that still stick in my mind. 

There really was only one negative in that with a couple of sequences they felt very scripted whether that be down to limited dialogue between two characters or direction. Either way, it didn’t bother me due to those scenes only really occurring in that first half. We could’ve had a bit more of J.K Simmons but honestly I ain’t complaining because he gave it all in the scenes he had. 

Overall, Juror #2 shocks me as one of the best studio movies this year as the dedication on and off screen shines like a beacon in the dark catalogue of Warner Bros, who have only themselves to blame why they didn’t put this gem out to more theatres and gave it an Oscar push it deserves because Juror #2 displays its cinematic excellence on and off screen in a nail biting legal thriller that leaves a long lasting mark even after leaving the cinema. Thank you, Clint.

I’m certainly mixed on The Outrun. On one hand, I think the messy non-linear script ruins the audiences connection with the subject matter and can’t really stand on its own two feet without its main actress. On the other hand, I really liked The Outrun- helmed by an extremely talented Saoirse Ronan who shines yet again coupled with a beautiful score and faith fullness towards the book. 

I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s showered in awards come next year but to be honest there’s only really Saoirse Ronan that I really am in awe for.

Sebastian Stan shines once again baby. This motherfucker don’t miss. 

A Different Man shimmers as one of the best dark comedies of the decade as its equally terrifying as well as  thought provoking and funny script made quite the profound experience as I was left speechless after watching it. Sebastian Stan has another film on his 2024 roster where he shines as his character delves into a self loathing and jealousy induced downfall that certainly has to have an Oscar shout. Adam Pearson is an absolute scene stealer and I’m so proud that even with his condition he has already become an iconic face of cinema in his breakout role. The score and camera movement is absolutely incredible as it takes risks and pushes unique elements together to make an unforgettable experience that pushes the boundaries of the simple cautionary tale and makes it an anxiety inducing skin crawler. 

Overall, A Different Man hails as one of the best films of the year so far as a twisted and unsettling body horror that beautifully intertwines comedy and thriller in one of the most daring experiments of cinema this year- backed up by stellar performances and a visual supernova that certainly deserves its champagne for.

Came out very surprised after watching The Apprentice. Stan and Strong shine as two power hungry rapscallions feeding off of each other in order to make successful deals, film is shot like a 1990 TV special and cinematography is astounding- certainly gives off its time period in superb fashion. 

Film was a bit rushed in the first half and I thought the film could’ve been a tad bit more irreverent and bawdy but overall, I was never bored and was thoroughly entertained with Ali Abbasi’s horror biopic which perfectly captured the essence of Cohn and Trump.

Ultimately, Hold Your Breath has a stellar performance of Sarah Paulson screaming and some decent adolescent performances, but it summarises itself as a slow burner that it’s burn comes too slow and too generic for it to make an impact as it feels like a mix of good horror movies not strong enough to reinforce its own identity and just comes off as an underwhelming thriller with a half baked premise.

The real American Psycho in this equation has to be the person who is making aftershave lotion with little to no alcohol. Come on man, live a little.

Honestly, I’m just glad Casey didn’t turn around and say her favourite horror movie was The Exorcist:Believer. 

Thank god that route wasn’t taken.

I think what is best about Woman of the Hour is that it doesn’t have or need disturbing scenes or references to sexual assault or abuse or a long and protruding runtime highlighting every crevice of the man’s crimes. All it needs is some stellar direction, a brilliant performance from Daniel Lovatto and a hauntingly realistic portrayal of misogyny and the male gaze. 

Not a bad first piece from Anna Kendrick I will not lie.

Should’ve just given her a red bull, film would’ve been done in 10 minutes flat.

Venom 3’s double catering towards the end of the Venom trilogy and a reunion of the Ted Lasso cast is a bittersweet end to the trilogy. While it has a terrific third act and some damn good comedy, ultimately Venom 3 feels at points throwing everything and nothing at the same time, choosing a lazy script and one note characters leading the line while also throwing every symbiotic lore note into the cauldron and calling it a hard days work. Tom Hardy is brilliant as always and his chemistry with…himself?…works brilliant as always. 

But I can’t help to feel like this is an underwhelming finale to the trilogy, sure that ending scene was tonally diametric in the extreme but emotional as we tip our hats goodbye to the trilogy, it just seals the envelope highlighting that Sony don’t really know how to handle this Spider Man universe and it would be better to put the comic book adaptations and the confusing Marvel crossover performances to rest. 

Unless Rhys Ifans wants to play a hippie again. Then, Sony, I’m all ears.

Watched on Sunday October 27, 2024.

In the words of the great Kirk Lazarus of Tropic Thunder: 

‘Never go full retard’

He also said never let Sia direct a film but I think that was in the extended version.

I could rewatch that five times over and guess what? 

I still wouldn’t be able to tell you what the fucking plot line this movie had, cause wherever it wandered off to its destination certainly wasn’t in that Final Cut. 

Instead, we got weird pedo tension and annoying southern ladies in the Final Cut and that’s not really my cup of tea in a horror film.

Although I did enjoy this more than the first one, two hours is a LONG time for a Smile movie and I was expecting a whole load of backstory and lore and I didn’t really get that, all I got was a hell of a lot of product placement and a repetitive second act. 

But honestly , I won’t lie to you I still had a great time, cutting off 30-45 minutes and leaving it on the editing table wasn’t really my first thought after finishing Smile 2 because the whirlwind that the scares, gore and violence and Naomi Scott’s wild and daring return to film made me didn’t even think about the runtime. That third act was wild and off the rails in all the right ways, the kills were incredible once again and the whole look and budget of Smile 2 just looks so much more cleaner and bigger than its predecessor. A flawed movie but honestly a really fun horror that hits like crack on a first watch and shows what Parker Finn can do as his editing and direction of horror propels not only the genre as a whole , but will  most likely propel sales in Voss water.

Morgan Neville’s Lego documentary of the illustrious life of Pharrell Williams really did hit as the closing film this year at the BFI London Film Festival. Packed theatre, laughter galore, just felt like we left on such a good high. 

Overall, I really enjoyed Piece by Piece, sure it does follow those tropes you expect from a non R-rated biopic and the idea of making each character legofied does detach you from the realism of each character, but I had a great time nonetheless. Brilliant music, exquisite comedy especially from the Snoop Dogg sketch- the film was just so funny and so relatable and came from a perspective where you felt so connected with Pharrell. It does feel a bit rushed at the end, but Piece by Piece moves at a pace that doesn’t feel slow to a point of dissatisfaction and doesn’t feel rushed to a point of disenchant. And that soundtrack, boy, I was having the time of my life as I went through the tumble dryer of Pharrell’s symphony of producer tags to brilliant songs. 

In the end, I think Piece by Piece is unique in all the right ways possible as you can’t walk past its glories without praising the amazing voices and animation on display that makes it a humorous and funky ride that all ages would love and understand it’s topics shown. And if they don’t, there’s always Lego Minions.

After decades of waiting for the resuscitation of Francis Ford Coppola’s career, I doubt any fans of his were expecting to see his latest piece consisting of Shia LaBeouf getting Aubrey Plaza’s fanny in his face and Adam Driver crashing out in a scene that felt straight out of an Irvine Welsh novel. 

Overall, Megalopolis is the definition of a style over substance movie. 40 years in the making and it has incredibly little narrative to show for, the first 30 minutes I barely knew anything what was going on. In fact, I hardly knew what the main story was here. Performances are wild, dialogue is about as rusty as an iron spoon being washed and the overall story is a monumental meh. However, the visual and imagination of Coppola bursts onto the screen and I have to give him props here, cause I was amazed by the sets and visuals shown here, albeit a lot of the shit done here is added in for the sake of it, no clue why the fact he can stop time was added in here. 

In summary, Megalopolis is a visual stunner but is written like a film buff who believes his art will be the next best thing- mix in a couple of dodgy performances and bold editing and that you can guarantee that you’re watching a Francis Ford Coppola movie.

Note to self: Never watch a Josh Brolin film before going to Tottenham away, bad idea.

I, too, would eat Jaffa Cakes with a loved one in the bath. 

Honestly, I know it’s sounds cliche for a film like this, but We Live in Time is one of the funniest, saddest, empowering and mesmerising movies I’ve seen all year. Fuelled by a master behind the screen that is John Crowley and as always two excellent leads of Florence Pugh and Andrew Garfield, it’s really hard not to love We Live in Time as you are brought full throttle into the rocking and powerful unconditional love story that oozes British culture and quality, seriously one of the few movies that made me cry and one of the best movies this entire year.

I’ve never seen a more bipolar film studio than Mr. Dreamworks. One year they’re making gems like The Bad Guys and Puss in Boots: The Last Wish and then they go and fumble the bag the following year with Ruby Gillman, Teenage Kraken and Trolls Band Together. 

After Dreamwork’s middling effort with Kung Fu Panda 4, The Wild Robot emerges as one of the best animated movies of the decade. Beautifully written that perfectly encapsulates the ethereal nature of the book, The Wild Robot holds a worthy title that some animated movies fail to achieve: having beautiful animation. The animation here is utterly scintillating and is held well by tranquil cinematography and a personal and touching score. The characters, for instance characters played by Lupita and Daddy Pescal (was very close to that man before the premiere), were funny and emotionally driven in a way that I haven’t experienced since Zootropolis days. But honestly, The Wild Robot is one of the best animated movies of the decade with a simple tale that is not only delicate but bursting with whimsical and colourful entertainment that strikes as a visual extravaganza for all you nature lovers out there.

Saw this at the BFI London Film Festival today, fingers crossed hopefully more tickets come along the way. 

Although it is your standard documentary that doesn’t feel like it’s breaking any definitions of the genre and fails to feel anything other than a Wikipedia page audiobook at times, I couldn’t help but enjoy Elton John:Never Too Late amidst the formulaic rise to fame story and I truly had a brilliant and emotional ride as it tapped between Elton’s life from the 1970’s to his final tour date at his old stomping grounds. In the end, it’s colourful and vibrant concert performances and archive footage makes Elton John:Never Too Late a documentary hard to not enjoy.

Everyone is saying that Terrifier 3 is going to make you scared about taking a shower, and to that I think that is absolute bollocks. 

My biggest takeaway is that you’ll always be looking over your shoulder when you’re eating some rats, which is a shame cause that was my snack for The Wild Robot. 

Thank you Terrifier 3 for ruining my rat eating experience. :(

It’s like Kevin Smith tried to make his own The Fablemans while trying to add a bit of King of Staten Island just after he watched Superbad on blu-ray, and we got this. 

It could’ve been a lot better, but considering we’re getting these kinds of projects from Kevin Smith, I’d much rather sit and be happy than watch Cop Out again. Thank you Kevin.

Thank god I ain’t in this film, no way in hell I’m switching bodies with Jared Leto

Milestone of 2024 films: 

1st- Good Grief
10th- The Iron Claw
20th- Road House
30th- The Fall Guy
40th- The Bikeriders
50th- Longlegs
60th- Deadpool and Wolverine
70th- Harold and the Purple Crayon
80th- Never Let Go
90th- Brothers
100th- The Outrun
110th- Paddington in Peru

1. Monkey Man
2. The Iron Claw
3. A Different Man
4. Conclave
5. We Live in Time
6. Gladiator II
7. Dune: Part Two
8. The Substance
9. Challengers
10. Juror #2

...plus 107 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

1. The Banshees of Inisherin
2. The Batman
3. Everything Everywhere All at Once
4. The Northman
5. Top Gun: Maverick
6. Cha Cha Real Smooth
7. Bones and All
8. Glass Onion
9. The Fabelmans
10. Aftersun

...plus 120 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

Pick a number between 1 and 500

1. Fantastic Mr. Fox
2. Ruby Sparks
3. Lost in Translation
4. Mad Max: Fury Road
5. Little Miss Sunshine
6. Moonlight
7. Blade Runner 2049
8. Sideways
9. The Hateful Eight
10. Jackie Brown

...plus 490 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

1. Oppenheimer
2. The Holdovers
3. Barbie
4. Killers of the Flower Moon
5. American Fiction
6. Poor Things
7. Past Lives

1. Oppenheimer
2. Barbie
3. The Holdovers
4. Killers of the Flower Moon
5. Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse
6. Air
7. Mission: Impossible – Dead Reckoning
8. Wonka
9. Godzilla Minus One
10. Dumb Money

...plus 121 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

Here are the exceptions:

Filth- The film is basically set around Christmas, I'll let it slide.

Die Hard- IT. IS. A. CHRISTMAS. MOVIE.

END OF.

1. Home Alone
2. Elf
3. Die Hard
4. How the Grinch Stole Christmas
5. The Muppet Christmas Carol
6. Gremlins
7. The Polar Express
8. Home Alone 2: Lost in New York
9. Filth
10. Violent Night

...plus 21 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

We don't talk about the Long Haul

• Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Rodrick Rules
• Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Dog Days
• Diary of a Wimpy Kid
• Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Rodrick Rules
• Diary of a Wimpy Kid
• Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul

Yes, I know this is basically Happy Madison ranked but I need ideas lime a motherfucker so this could be pretty fun. Lets see what the comedic Daniel Day Lewis has got to offer. And, I'm only reviewing movies he's starred in, not movies his written or produced or cameo'd in. Only Sandler movies where he is lead or supporting role. Ok let's go. Wehehe I'm Brian.

• Uncut Gems
• Punch-Drunk Love
• Hustle
• 50 First Dates
• Big Daddy
• Happy Gilmore
• Anger Management
• Billy Madison
• Just Go with It
• Blended

...plus 16 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

The absolute binbags of last year

DISHONOURABLE MENTIONS:
THE ADDAMS FAMILY 2
CINDERELLA
SPACE JAM: A NEW LEGACY
BLITHE SPIRIT
YES DAY

1. Music
2. Home Sweet Home Alone
3. The Kissing Booth 3
4. He's All That
5. Diary of a Wimpy Kid
6. Tom & Jerry
7. Paranormal Activity: Next of Kin
8. The Forever Purge
9. Songbird
10. Twist

1. Toy Story 3
2. Toy Story
3. Soul
4. Up
5. Ratatouille
6. Inside Out
7. Toy Story 2
8. Coco
9. The Incredibles
10. Monsters, Inc.

...plus 15 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

Pretty much one movie like this comes out every year.

• No Good Deed
• Obsessed
• Unforgettable
• When the Bough Breaks
• The Perfect Guy
• Acrimony
• The Boy Next Door
• Fatale