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Review by Luke Kane ★★ 15

As I sat in the cinema watching Poltergeist, I felt very despairing, and not just about the current state of modern cinema. This occurred to me as the opening cutesy scenes establish the modern American family. In the original film there's a scene where the husband and wife, having put the children to bed, share a joint and have a laughing fit when they're interrupted by one of their children who's afraid of the storm. They quickly butt out the roach and dutifully allay the boy's fears before settling him back down. I tried to imagine such a scene today and couldn't. If two parents were shown to be recreational drug users they couldn't possibly also be good parents. They'd…

Review by ag_ ★½ 13

That star and a half is solely for Sam Rockwell. That's it.

Review by Matt Singer ★★★ Liked 7

So do the neighbors just not see any of this?

(I actually didn't hate this. Full review: screencrush.com/poltergeist-remake-review/)

Review by Parker ★★ 2

At one point, a realtor asks Sam Rockwell where he works and he goes, "John Deere." And the realtor says, "Oh, I really like that company" and then Sam Rockwell is like, "Well, I don't give a shit cuz they fired me."

Well, maybe don't tell people you still work there if it's such a sore issue, Sam Rockwell.

Review by Mark Kinsella ★★ 1

I've had scarier trips to IKEA.

Review by DirkH ★ 7

This does not need an outstanding original to be as awful as it is. It can do that all on its own.

There is simply nothing there. No suspense, no creativity, no connection to the characters, no frights, no acting (Rockwell isn't acting, he just being Rockwell having a laugh I'm sure), no momentum, no originality, no cleverness, no fun. Nothing.

Well that's not entirely true. There's the shit.

The shit that makes directors forget that they're making their own film instead of trying to copy/paste iconic moments, the shit that makes directors CGI horny, the shit that makes people think 'contemporize' equals generic mediocrity, the shit that makes shit stink.

Faultershite indeed.

Review by tawni─ ⊹ ⊱ ☆ ⊰ ⊹ ─ ★★ 2

sam rockwell you are so fine

Review by Jesse ★½

The dictionary definition of how to not remake a classic horror film. Somehow worse that I remember, devoid of any reinvention or memorable moments that we didn’t already see in the 1982 original. Watch any of the other Poltergeist films instead.

Review by Blair Russell ★½ 4

Did people in the Amish community write the script?

There is no logical explanation as to why I decided to view this crummy remake when the average rating/general opinion of this picture was that of putrefaction. If there’s any solace in my lousy decision-making, the warning can be spread to avoid the film. BTW, it was decided to view this before revisiting the OG Poltergeist the previous night.

The Freeling family in 1982 were effortlessly charming. They were typical and the parents smoking pot was not a big deal, as they must have started during the hippie era of the late 60’s. It was a loving bunch and no one was irritating. The Bowen family here, in contrast… the very…

Review by ram<3 ★½

nah, this movie never existed

Review by Maeve 🦇 ★★½ Liked 3

I WATCHED THE WRONG POLTERGEIST 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Review by ram<3 ★½

sam rockwell can be my daddy anytime he wants 😏

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