Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: We Wish You a Turtle Christmas is a 1994 live-action musical that clocks in at twenty-one minutes.
I am way behind my December goal for film reviews, so it's about time to start cramming. Growing up in the early 1990s I was a HUGE fan of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles franchise. I saw all three films in theaters, watched the cartoon religiously, owned a ton of toys, and even had a TMNT themed birthday party…
"In the year 2022, the international prison system is operated by private corporations. Criminals from all over the world are exploited at a profit. Prisons have become big business."
In the distant future of 2022, Captain J.T. Robbins is sent to prison for murdering one of his commanding officers in the military. He is condemned to a maximum-security complex reserved for inmates deemed too dangerous for the standard international prison system. The sentence? Life. Here, prisoners live under the thumb…
"I don't know what I feel. I don't feel anything...except...lost."
Tommy has found himself in the midst of hard times. Hell, he's a loser. An alcoholic who lost his job, his girlfriend left him for his best friend/employer, and she got pregnant. He lives in an apartment above a small bar named Tree's Lounge, a bar where he is a regular and spends his time with a cast of characters in situations similar to his own. When his uncle dies,…
"You have two choices. Unemployment or early retirement. Whats it gonna be?"
Peter Gibbons is your average working stiff who hates his job sitting in a cubicle at the Initech Company. Every little thing about it gets on his nerves. One night, he blows off his friends and their weekly poker night to go with his cheating girlfriend to a hypnotist and wakes up with a new state of mind. Why should he hate a life that is too short?…
"They will say that have shed innocent blood but what's blood for if not for shedding?"
Helen Lyle is a college student writing a thesis on urban legends, and her research leads her to the murder of a woman who locals believe was killed by the mysterious "Candyman." Candyman is said to be a tortured soul with a hook for a hand. Though he died years ago, he continues to haunt the residents of Chicago's Cabrini Green housing projects, appearing…
31 DAYS OF HORROR 2024 - Film 22
A scientist ships a relic from Brazil back to Chicago's Museum of Natural History. A relic that unleashes an ancient creature in the museum. A homicide detective and another scientist join forces to figure out what is causing the rash of gory killings which all have one thing in common. A missing piece of the brain.
The Relic is one of those late 1990s films that I saw a million times when…
2,100th Review
31 DAYS OF HORROR 2024 - Film 19
The Silence of the Lambs is a landmark of psychological thrillers with a twist of horror. What better film to mark my 2,100th centennial review milestone? As part of my ongoing 31 Days of Horror, this film stands out not just as a critical and audience favorite, but as one that reshaped the genre and I've had it pegged for today since I reviewed Braveheart for 2,000.
The plot centers…
31 DAYS OF HORROR 2024 - Film 5
It's been two years since Sidney Prescott survived the Ghostface killer, though she lost many of her high school friends in the process. Now in college, trying to rebuild her life in Ohio, she’s doing her best to move forward. It's not so easy when a movie called Stab, based on her ordeal, premieres, bringing with it a storm of unwelcome media attention, including the relentless Gale Weathers, clout chasing more than…
31 DAYS OF HORROR 2024 - Film 4
"It's all... it's all a movie, it's all one great movie. Only you can't pick your genre."
Woodsboro, California. Your average small town, U.S.A. That is, until a rash of homicides begin. It starts with the killing of Sidney Prescott's mother, a murder that was thought to be an isolated incident. Fast forward one year, and high school students Casey Becker and her boyfriend are murdered in brutal fashion. Thus begins the…
The Road to Dracula is a DVD featurette and a short, thirty-five-minute long documentary that covers the evolution of the iconic Dracula character. From the pen of creator Bram Stoker and his original notes, through the publication of the infamous novel, to the stage, silver screen, and beyond, this documentary covers it all. It also sheds light on the key figures who shaped Dracula's transition from page to screen, especially highlighting the impact of Bela Lugosi's iconic portrayal in the…
Brian Kessler is an aspiring author fascinated with serial killers. Using information he learned in a library, he wrote a four-page article that landed him a book deal and a cash advance. The money was quickly spent, with no book to show for it. Rent on his apartment and car payments ate it all up. Knowing he has an obligation to fulfill, he sets out for California with his lover, a photographer. Along with them are two others who are…
"They have the look of man, but not the nature of mankind."
In the small town a Midwich, a strange occurence caused every living thing in town to briefly pass out. When they wake up all of the women are pregnant. Fast forward nine months and the town experiences a baby boom all it's own. A boom that leads to something sinister that will change the town of Midwich and possibly the world forever.
Village of the Damned is one…