What a mess!

At 105 minutes The Marvels is the MCU's shortest entry, but it's rather obvious that this wasn't the plan all along. The plotting is barely coherent, characters and their relationships are sketchy at best, and what little there is of a story feels more truncated than a fucking Thanksgiving turkey. Where's the rest of the movie, Mr. Feige?

You know, those pesky little bits known as character development that impart depth and purpose to the characters so that the audience gives a shit about them. Seriously, if you haven't seen Ms. Marvel and WandaVision, you're pretty much fucked, since there's next to no time wasted on explaining who Kamala Khan and Monica Rambeau are, and what makes them tick. There's a reason that the movie isn't called Captain Marvel 2, because Carol Danvers is only one of three protagonists. At least they're all equally neglected. Yay equality! And while Nick Fury was an integral part of the first film, this time his presence is largely inconsequential. This Nick Fury is also almost entirely different than the character we saw in Secret Invasion. Continuity? Fuck that, I guess, right?

Mentioning the Phase 1 level villain and the expectedly shoddy CGI feels redundant, but I believe in being thorough. So, yes, it's business as usual on that front. Though there are some parts that look quite decent, to be fair. Altogether it's actually an improvement compared to the first one. But given the amount of money that Disney sinks into these movies, it's still embarassing.

The MCU doomsayers are going to have a field day with The Marvels and I can hardly blame them, because the film makes it so easy to trash it. Or in a more constructive manner, to point out the cracks in the fabric. I'm still more forgiving than most at this point, but if one were to say that the MCU is falling apart after watching this, it'd be a position difficult to argue against. The universe worked as long as it was just the movies. Ever since Disney mandated connecting the films to the streaming shows, it was only a matter of time for the whole thing to collapse under its on weight. Was it inevitable, though? If they had taken the time to properly plan things like they did in Phases 1-3, the interwoven approach may still have panned out. But at the rate the Mouse House demands new content, it seems impossible to maintain quality and a clear sense of direction. It will be interesting to see if Marvel can steer the ship back on course, or if they will descend into the same disarray that plagues their competitor*.

If you're still reading this, I guess you're wondering when I will explain, why I gave The Marvels three and a half stars. Well, wonder no more! Like I said, I'm still more forgiving than many others. As a matter of fact, I really enjoyed watching it. The movie is a fucking mess and easy to pick apart, but it's not a soulless piece of shit. Its soul may have been hacked to pieces, but the pieces are still there. Basically Iman Vellani (her giddy enthusiasm goes a long way), Brie Larson and Teyonah Parris do all the heavy lifting and carry the damn thing. They share great chemistry and do their best to compensate for the lackluster writing (there's actually a promising story strand about how Carol fucked up and caused the events that led to the villain's actions, but it's never given room to make the impact it should've had), and whatever harebrained decisions (rumor has it Marvel testscreened it in Texas, which is basically the equivalent of getting dietary advice from fucking McDonald's) let to the release of the film in its current form.

PS: *Speaking of which, Warners has all but abandoned Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom, haven't they? The movie opens in less than six weeks and today was only the third time I've seen the trailer. Compare that to the at least a dozen times I saw the Dune trailer - after it had been postponed to next spring. They're clearly not to eager to put real money into marketing the sequel to their most successful DCEU movie after the three bombs earlier this year. I like the first Aquaman quite a lot, but that trailer doesn't inspire much anticipation, to be honest. I bet by now they're wishing they could've just scrapped the damn thing.