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Week nine (post-Worldcon)
Aug. 26th, 2018 03:47 pmWell, this has certainly been a week. Among other things, it featured the return of the cough I had after Vancouver in May, with some rhinitis and sneezing, although it didn't really develop into either a full-fledged cold or Con Crud. But it did keep me mostly out of the office, and away from my psych appointment. It also kept my daily step-count down to 8k from 10k, but I made step count every day. So that's 9020 steps/day on average, for a total of just over 63k steps. Total distance just under 50km.
Most of my social support system was otherwise engaged this week, whether with aftermath of Worldcon or with their own stuff, so I felt quite a bit more isolated than usual. In one particular case, this co-incided with a blood sugar reading of 52 (!) mg/dL, which made the word 'crash' a bit more apt than I would have liked. No, I was not anywhere near a car at the time, thank goodness. I had a quiet meltdown with some friends on one of my hobby websites, but recovered once I had eaten and slept a bit. Other than that incident, blood sugar has been pretty consistent and within acceptable ranges.
I'm struggling with feeling like I'm more of a social "burden" than my current support system can bear, so I'm reaching out to some friends I haven't talked with in a while, trying to spread the load, as it were. I have the persistent feeling that all of my local friends have worse stuff going on than I do, and it's really hard to tell how much of that is actually true and how much of it is my own brain weasels trying to tell me I'm not "worth" spending time with.
Work continues to be a bit up and down; I didn't get a promotion but I did get a pretty substantial raise. My boss professes himself happy with the work I'm doing. The people I'm working with are pretty much all delightful. I would normally be very excited about going to London for work meetings at the end of September, but I know that the subject matter is going to be contentious and that I will be socially overloaded.
We'll see what happens once I get the psych appointment re-scheduled and maybe find some folks to hang out with in non-work settings. This feels less like "the world crashing in" and more like "I am definitely stuck in a rut, time to find a way out."
See you next week; thanks for reading.
Most of my social support system was otherwise engaged this week, whether with aftermath of Worldcon or with their own stuff, so I felt quite a bit more isolated than usual. In one particular case, this co-incided with a blood sugar reading of 52 (!) mg/dL, which made the word 'crash' a bit more apt than I would have liked. No, I was not anywhere near a car at the time, thank goodness. I had a quiet meltdown with some friends on one of my hobby websites, but recovered once I had eaten and slept a bit. Other than that incident, blood sugar has been pretty consistent and within acceptable ranges.
I'm struggling with feeling like I'm more of a social "burden" than my current support system can bear, so I'm reaching out to some friends I haven't talked with in a while, trying to spread the load, as it were. I have the persistent feeling that all of my local friends have worse stuff going on than I do, and it's really hard to tell how much of that is actually true and how much of it is my own brain weasels trying to tell me I'm not "worth" spending time with.
Work continues to be a bit up and down; I didn't get a promotion but I did get a pretty substantial raise. My boss professes himself happy with the work I'm doing. The people I'm working with are pretty much all delightful. I would normally be very excited about going to London for work meetings at the end of September, but I know that the subject matter is going to be contentious and that I will be socially overloaded.
We'll see what happens once I get the psych appointment re-scheduled and maybe find some folks to hang out with in non-work settings. This feels less like "the world crashing in" and more like "I am definitely stuck in a rut, time to find a way out."
See you next week; thanks for reading.
