Karl T.

Passed a million steps, since I started measuring on July 7. *throws confetti*

The last three weeks have been like hiking through molasses. I have mostly made step-count, but I have also gone entire days without measuring my blood sugar because I just wanted to eat and eat and eat.

Thank you to the couple of people who reached out to me when the weekly posting didn't appear. My audience here is not large, but it is very supportive. Thank you.

I can barely face the prospect of the US mid-terms and their (lack of) aftermath. As is usual when I enter one of these phases, I am continuing forward mostly out of habit. This is why I worked so hard to establish the habits while it was still mostly light out, and before I re-engaged with the world. The habits are serving me pretty well right now, but oof.

I had a lovely trip to Minneapolis, and the chill on my skin felt wonderful. But now I want to hibernate, to set my alarm clock for "Spring," and just hide myself away through the coming awful season. But I can't go back to disengaging, because I'm afraid I'll never ever want to come out again. And there are so many who need comfort just as much as I do: my trans colleagues, my Jewish friends, my comrades who are mentally ill. I am not obligated to finish this work, but I sure as hell am not free to abandon it, either. My love is all I have for this world, and in the end, it doesn't matter whether it's enough or not; it's everything I have, everything I am. Every teaspoon counts, every person comforted is that much less pain in the world. So I get up in the morning and do it all over again.