December 19, 2012 by faithallen
Hi, all.
I am still super busy with my job and such, but I do have a holiday break coming, so I decided to participate over at Lori’s Song while I temporarily have a little more time so I can offer support to child abuse survivors over the holidays. Overall, I am doing well. This time of year is always hard for me, but it is less hard than in prior years, and I am celebrating the progress. I hope all of you are doing well.
Photo credit: Faith Allen
the onion peels
the tears spill
the pond fills
the lotus unfolds
~ by Reisha
Dissociative Identity Disorder
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
*All proceeds benefit a charity for child abuse survivors.
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Blooming Lotus 
I’m glad you’re doing well. I agree this is a tough time of year. I’m struggling and my therapy days fall on Tuesdays, which happen to be Christmas and New Year’s. I don’t feel like I can make it,
I know this has been a particularly hard time for you. I wish you peace! Take lots of down time.
Thank you so much for letting us know about Lori’s Song – I have registered & await approval (or whatever they call it)… And thank you in advance for your contributions there!
I have just found your blog tonight, but so far it feels like a cozy place.
Come by some time and let me return some encouragement to you!
— SynthGirl
http://www.SynthiaMasters.com
I went over to Lori’s Song and checked out the site. Our daughter also has Arthrogyposis! It is rare to find somebody else who has the same issue. We know of nobody in our town, but see folks at the clinic once in a while.
Glad you are doing well. 🙂
Hi Faith,
Really happy to hear that things are going well for you. I want to wish you every blessing at Christmas and the New Year.
However – and I apologize in advance – what follows is a considerable rant, for which I apologize, but need to get this off my chest.
One thing about ‘Lori’s song’ that really concerns me. I’ve looked, and can’t find a single reference (at least that I’ve been able to find so far) to female perpetrated sexual abuse (or female perpetrated abuse – period, for that matter). There isn’t a single book or resource listed on this subject that I could see. I haven’t experienced child abuse at the hand of a male (at least not significant abuse), so this is really frustrating. Wonder what on earth needs to happen before the issue of female PERPETRATED abuse EVER seems to hit anyone’s radar.
Also, it would be nice to see a man on the list of leaders/moderators. We need images of men as healers as well as victims, alongside valid images of women as perpetrators.
Unfortunately up to now my experience has ALWAYS been – and I’ve experienced this multiple times now over the years – that if I have to bring up the subject of FPSA &/or FPA to survivor services and ask them if they could include it (or why they haven’t) they may do so reluctantly but seem to be resentful of having to do so, and it never goes well, and never grows beyond a token reference. In my experience survivors of FPA/FPSA are definitely considered lower-status (muuuuch lower status) within even the survivor community. Mind-boggling, considering that mothers and female caregivers actually murder their children at rates far higher than fathers/male caregivers, so CAN’T understand why we continue to almost universally demonize men and absolve women.
SO sorry to lose your blog, because that (gender, race, etc…) just wasn’t ever an issue here.
Sorry to vent here, when you’ve been working so hard to help those of us who followed you here on your blog, but I’m *****REALLY***** angry to encounter this YET AGAIN. Feeling quite triggered – truth be told.
I hope you’ll consider undertaking a major re-education campaign to your compatriates at Lori’s Song. Viewing abuse as having ANYTHING to do with sex or gender – or race, etc… for that matter – (either as victim or perpetrator) and segregating services that way, imo, benefits no one. It only perpetuates false logic and, again imo, serves to reinforce the cycles that allow it to continue. Can’t believe how angry I am, and hate to vent things like this at the holidays, but I don’t want to carry this over into Christmas and the New Year.
Again, I apologize for venting here. Hope you’ll considering carrying the torch of wisdom and enlightenment over to the new group.
Thank you for everything you’ve done here. I miss your blog, and your community, and want to wish you and all of them a very Merry Christmas for those who celebrate, a Happy Holidays for those who don’t, and a wish to all for the very best in 2013.
Hi, Birdfeeder.
I will pass along your feedback. There is a forum for mother-daughter abuse. I’ll suggest that it be broadened to add other forms of female abusers.
Take care,
~ Faith
Hi Faith,
What courage you have for coming out with your story. I am fond of saying that “childhood is a nightmare from which I am just beginning to awake”. Your website is an inspiration to those abused all over the globe. While child rearing in America is vastly more empathetic in America today then in anytime previously in world history there is still so much more work to be done. My parents were not the empathetic or even socially helpful parents .I cannot even remember a single event of warmth or empathy. The inability to not silence the wrongs I wanted to correct in my head and the hope of helping others has led me on my own path to help others. I hope you will consider us a resource to reach out to others that are in need of legal assistance. Oftentimes, a counselor can help them not only with directing towards professional help but also apprise people of their legal rights and options to break the cycle.
Merry Xmas & happy holidays !
Happy New Year! I am holding you up in prayer and sending a smile your way 🙂
Faith, Lori’s Song is amazing. I don’t know of another site that is both blog and a safe forum for discussion around child abuse specifically. I look forward to being part of this new community. At a time when I’m just recently processing some heavy issues around orgasms during my own childhood sexual abuse experiences, Lori’s Song appears. I’m now realizing how my response to those orgasms are effecting my current sex life, however healthy and loving. I am happy to promote such a wonderful project. I hope it grows exponentially. ❤
http://teresalynn.ca/a-new-resource-for-healing/
Teresa Lynn