Are You Not Entertained?

Commentary/Satire by Bill the Butcher

The recent presidential debate changed nothing. But it was good entertainment. Were you not entertained? A debacle that was the first, and most likely last debate between Don Corleone and a sorority girl was not Biden v Trump 2 but a disappointing parade of unrealistic expectations of an epic Rap battle of left and right. What did you come to Philadelphia to see? While both candidates took liberty with some facts, fried cat and Biden’s jump over the Afghan border, THE fact remains that Trump is right, Harris is what’s left and ne’r the two shall meet. All observers just cheered, “Hooray for our side!” But nothing was fundamentally changed, and the fat lady never sang.

And Americans don’t like that. A fairly sedate, intelligent innocuous discussion has no Tik Tok in it. For one you cannot have candidates using four syllable words. The audience can only digest sound bites. No substance, but didn’t the hair look great? And it covered Harris’s earphone quite well, don’t you think? There was no audience because both candidates need to leave with both ears.

Oh, there were moments. From Trump mainly. From wild Haitians making fish tacos out of golf course geese to doctors garroting babies shortly after birth. I was surprised that people are surprised by tacos from another mother. Foreigners eat weird stuff. Folks in Texas know better than to eat anything below the border. And don’t drink the water! But Harris rebounded with her peace trip to Ukraine until Trump pointed out that Putin jumped straight up Zelenskyy’s ass right after she left. She pointed out that she’d never met Putin and Putin is a ladies’ man! He stood her up! Ra Ra Raputin! I thought I saw her distinctly tapping her ear bud when she wasn’t reminded of that.

Both candidates did good on facials. From the traditional shaking of the head to Trump’s totally New York, “I’m talkin’ heah!” Harris was rehearsed and plugged in . . . LITERALLY! Trump fires from the hip, and from what I’ve heard Harris fires from the hip, sorta, if you get my drift. That was the difference. Harris could string nouns, verbs, and adjectives together while Biden could not. But as far as content? I don’t think any votes were swayed except Taylor Swift who came out for Harris the next day. Where were all the girls like Taylor Swift when I was in High School?

It was the usual three on one. Harris and two moderators verses Trump. Harris went completely ad hominem and reminded us of all Trumps convictions which of course brought no response from the front desk while Trump’s Haitian sandwich was fact checked. I thought moderators were supposed to present topics and shut the “F” up!

Ok, right now it’s 49 to 49 and we’re in the third quarter. Neither camp provided any substantial plans upon election except they are gonna beat the hell out of other side. On January 20, 2025, Mexicans will still be pouring over the border and Harry Bawls will still be pissing in your little girl’s bathroom. Don’t you wanna know why?

Because most pick a candidate for president with the same standards that they pick a movie on Netflix, that’s why. The fact remains that neither contender produced a viable plan for America during the next four years. Trump reminded us that he was not president at the present time and Harris was too busy tapping her right ear. They both have to play the numbers game down at the Electoral Casino. Now Trump’s old school. Ok, ok, he dispatched Biden. That made him the OG on the yard. He’s closing in on eighty but let’s be honest, Biden was closing in on Ensure. Harris went from Arapaho to Africaco because she knows there are more Blacks than Black Feet! And depending on how well they maneuver the blocks of votes from fifty different ways of counting gives the winner. Some states its winner takes all while others are winner takes some. Oh, I’m sorry! You thought your vote mattered?

The handlers know the debate was a flop. Oh, both sides claimed a win, but c’mon? Did you watch that thing? I, myself went to YouTube at the end of the first hour and watched the history of Saint Paul. At least he had something to say. ABC had to pump this thing up. Otherwise, they’d look like Geraldo Rivera coming out of Al Capone’s secret room holding a beer can.

Biden had his four years and screwed the pooch until his eyes bugged out! Harris was right there giggling like a schoolgirl under the bleachers at a high school football game. She was not picked by the Democrat Party; the handlers picked her. So, who will win? I don’t know. Ask the handlers. They’re out there digging up bones right now.

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