Thoughts In A Walmart On A Sunday Afternoon

Thoughts In A Walmart On A Sunday Afternoon

Commentary by: Bill the Butcher

I enjoy observing the human condition. I found it a very fascinating thing just watching people just coming out of the Walmart or some H-E-B anywhere. The people, all makes and models, especially the kids, just to watch how they act as they experience life with all its twists and turns. Paying particular attention to the women and their husbands, but other than that I try to keep everything on a simple mode of observation.

They all seem to have someplace to go, even when they’re walking into a Walmart they have a plan of action. Well, the men usually have a plan of action. Go in, buy, and just leave. Especially if it’s a Sunday and they’re waiting for the clock to strike twelve and buy beer. Makes one wonder if, instead of a McDonald’s, there was a bar instead. Nothing fancy. A few tables, seventy-five-inch TV on the wall and bowls of peanuts. It has to be peanuts if for no other reason but to keep the liberals out.

Now women are a little different. Going into any store is not a purposeful event so much as a social one. From fire sales to price checks, every moment is experienced with the thought process of a border guard in Laredo. An Abbott guard, not Biden. A shopping trip with a wife or girlfriend can exhaust a coal miner, but you may get lucky if she runs across an old high school “bestie,” but then, that’s none of my business.

I was watching a bunch of kids in the Bible class. Well it wasn’t Bible class it was more of a basketball game because they had this big gymnasium at the Baptist Church and the only way to get the kids go to church is to let them go and play basketball and while they’re playing basketball, they have to recite Bible verses. I checked my Bible and the only passage I could find that had any balls was Isaiah 22:18:

That’s pretty bad when your boss owns your car. I couldn’t find Jesus shooting hoops anywhere but as a rule the Jews back then were rather short so then there’s that.

One of my favorite pastimes is studying and understanding the human condition which can be is difficult at times especially if the humans you are studying are Walmart shoppers. We are all plagued by the human condition. You live in your human condition and everybody else lives in theirs. You try to understand your human condition by looking at their human condition and people make a universal mistake in that they assume that their human condition applies to all of the other human conditions worldwide, so yeah, try to understand Vladimir Putin by that standard.

If you wanna know how good the US economy is doing just look at the shoppers at Walmart. Remember back during the pandemic when they let in ten shoppers at a time. Makes you almost glad to only have to be on the lookout for mass shooters. You can see very quickly that we’re not really going down anymore and about 80% of the American population is pretty stable because we have to fight hard again to get the sales on Black Friday.

And even though we can’t really re-create the old traditional American family, just trying for it gives you a warm fuzzy far and above China or Indonesia. When you look at the entire world like Mohammed Ali, we are the greatest! I mean dude, People are swimming rivers and jumping walls just to be here. Even our jails provide three hots and a cot. And if you’re weird sexually, well, there you go! I think it’s flattering when I think about people wanting to be in America sans tuberculosis and if you could curb the sex trafficking Hollywood would shine again.

I’m not especially brilliant and I’ve never claimed to be a great thinker. Damn lucky I escaped from the Wellington. I’m not a great writer. I’m just a clever organizer of words and phrases that I already know but sometimes I get lucky and actually come up with something original. I get by giving people what I think they want to read and just maybe entertain them for a little while. I don’t care what anybody likes or don’t like it as long as they tell me what they think because while they are living in their human condition and I’m living in mine perhaps we can exchange human conditions for at least one night. Very simple psychology if not physiology.

I’m in Walmart right now and I’m looking at people coming and going. Some may not make it through the night. Others will never come here again, while for some this is like a religious experience. But we made it this far and showed the world in spite of all the naysayers and well-paid TV commentators we did get by. We did survive. And there’s something to be said for that.

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