How a Harris Girlfriend and a Trump Boyfriend Handled the Aftermath of the Election

Just over one week has passed since former president Donald Trump defeated Vice President Kamala Harris to become the 47th president of the United States. This election undoubtedly exemplified the contention and disagreement of the nation as a whole. But, for some individuals, it also showed the disconnect in their own romantic relationships. Yes, some couples discovered — or could simply no longer ignore — that one of them would be voting for Trump and the other for Harris.

According to exit polls from The Washington Post, 53 percent of women voted for Harris and 55 percent of men voted for Trump nationwide. Of course, this ignores quite a bit of nuance, considering only 45 percent of white women voted for Harris, compared to 91 percent of Black women and 60 percent of Hispanic and Latino women. Meanwhile, 77 percent of Black men voted for Harris, while only 37 percent of white men and 43 percent of Hispanic and Latino men did.

Social media, from Reddit to TikTok, has populated over the last few months with stories of individuals — mostly women — who were unsure how to proceed with a partner who decided to support Trump. Some vowed to "cancel out" their husbands' votes, while others ended relationships over their partners' support for Trump.

PS spoke to multiple people expressing their frustration or inability to continue a relationship because of this election. One remark as polls closed came in from a Harris voter with a Trump supporter boyfriend. She said, "It is super challenging and definitely brings a new perspective to the relationship."

After the election results became clear, that feeling was even more acute. "I felt so much sadness in my heart today, but I broke up with my boyfriend over the phone because he voted for him," another woman shared. "I feel numb."

In one case, we spoke in depth with a woman facing this challenging dynamic. Megan, 35, lives in Indiana, just outside Chicago. In the most recent election, she voted for Harris while her partner, 33, voted for Trump. Megan has spent 10 years with her partner, but she didn't realize how different his and her political views were until this last election. We first spoke with Megan about this experience and its impact before election day and again after the results were announced — and they have since had a conversation about ending their relationship. Here's her perspective, in her own words, as told to PS.

I voted for Harris because I want to be able to live in America as a woman. It's the long and short of it. I want to know that yet another right of mine won't be stripped away for the sake of appealing to extremists. I want to move forward, not back an entire century. He voted for Trump because he believes that women don't have the capacity to be in that sort of role because they're "too emotional," which is hilarious when you think about how many tantrums Trump has thrown over nothing. He wants a "better America" and doesn't realize the damage Trump will continue to do if in power again. He hears other opinions instead of formulating his own beyond "women are too emotional" and "abortion is wrong."

It definitely caused a divide that wasn't as bad as before. It started to deepen when it was announced that Harris was taking over for Biden, and it only continued to get worse. He just cannot see a woman in that place of power and I can. It's been hard for him to not have his own thoughts, but rather regurgitated nonsense from wildly conservative friends.

This is a very divisive time for relationships if you're on opposing political sides. It's one thing to differ on something like what to get for dinner. It's another thing entirely to differ on important matters like women's bodily autonomy, rights for the LGBTQIA+ community, and the genocide in Gaza.

I was devastated Wednesday morning. I almost didn't go to work. When he asked me why I was upset, I couldn't believe it. He said, "The right party had won and that's all that matters."

The election results made me realize there is a fundamental divide in my relationship. There is no "we can still be together" when you are on opposite sides of human rights and morality. I would never say that my partner is a bad person, but I can say that we are fundamentally and diametrically different.

When I prompted my partner about what made him vote for someone who was — insert adjectives here — he asked me where any evidence of those things was. I was flummoxed. I couldn't believe the sheer lack of awareness of the blatant racism, sexism, misogyny, xenophobia, and homophobia that that man has spewed across national television and social media. It was outrageous.

Again, there's having a difference of opinion on what to eat for dinner, but there's no seeing eye to eye when you believe stripping people of rights is acceptable. Just say you don't like women and move on.

We are simply too different, and I could not imagine moving forward or bringing kids into this world with someone who does not share the same values as me.

Sarah Fielding is an acclaimed journalist with seven years of experience covering mental health, social issues, and tech for publications such as PS, The Washington Post, The New York Times, Insider, and Engadget. She's also a cofounder of Empire Coven, a space highlighting trailblazing women across the United States.