How to Stay Joyful in Defeat

Even while delivering her concession speech at Howard University last week, Vice President Kamala Harris smiled. She laughed and she reassured people. Since Harris began her presidential campaign in July, she and her team have carried themselves with the promise of equality, human decency, and progress at the forefront. Whether or not one agreed with her policies, it's undeniable that the enthusiasm woven into the fabric of the Harris campaign was a shift from the bullying and fear-mongering tactics of many politicians. For young women particularly, Harris's campaign was a celebration of women's joy in a world that often dismisses our passions, interests, and feelings.

For many, former President Donald Trump's reelection has ushered in a pervasive loss of hope and crushing disappointment, resulting in grief for what could have been. It may feel personal and devastating for a sexual assaulter, a convicted felon, and authoritarian sympathizer to be elected to the highest office in the country over a highly qualified woman leader. But now more than ever, we can't allow these results and an uncertain future to rob us of our joy and hope.

In the face of defeat, resigning to cynicism may feel easier than searching for joy and decency in a world that betrayed you, but those are also the very things that keep us alive, according to Christine Crawford, MD, MPH, adult and child psychiatrist associate medical director of the National Alliance on Mental Illness. Leaning into your community and connecting with like-minded individuals is key in navigating grief and creating pockets of joy for oneself. "Be hopeful in the fact that we still have our communities around us that support our ideas, support our beliefs, and support us," Dr. Crawford says.

Christine Crawford, MD, MPH, is an adult and child psychiatrist who is also an associate medical officer of the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI).

Hannah Wesolowski is the chief advocacy officer and leader of the government relations and policy team at NAMI.

Of course, it's important to acknowledge the very real emotions you're experiencing right now. The death of a dream is a loss that is grieved not dissimilarly to the death of a person, Dr. Crawford says: "It's important for people to understand that any sort of emotional response that they experience is valid and for them to not feel guilty or shamed for having any sort of initial emotional response to anything that they experience as being stressful."

While isolating oneself is a natural inclination in times of stress, the comfort and sense of purpose a community can provide should not to be diminished. Dr. Crawford encourages people to lean into the important relationships in their lives, "because it's also going to fuel us, it's also going to help us heal and recover and assist us through the grief that some people are experiencing." When communities come together to navigate a dark time, they are able to develop compassion for each other and for the world around them.

Focusing on what one does have in their life and things that they have control over can also increase feelings of pleasure and mitigate anxiety. The future will always be uncertain, but bringing yourself back to the present moment is a helpful practice when experiencing events that are out of your control. Whether that comes in the form of breathing exercises, identifying sensory things in your environment, working out, or talking to a friend, "it's really imperative for people to be mindful," Dr. Crawford adds.

Taking a break from social media and disconnecting from the internet is another useful way of implementing mindfulness into your life. While it's important to stay informed, finding a few trusted news sources and digesting information in smaller doses can help prevent overwhelming feelings of distress.

Hannah Wesolowski, the NAMI chief advocacy officer, urges people to see this moment of darkness as an opportunity. "This is a good time to learn a new skill," she says. "Create art, go on a hike, enjoy the outdoors, do those things that really make you feel connected and centered and less focused on the news and the outside world, not that we can ignore it forever, but we also have to take care of ourselves."

While we hold space for the range of emotions people are feeling in the wake of the election, it's also essential to look forward to what we can do from here. If people are angry or disappointed, funnel it into advocacy. "There's so much we can do locally to engage policymakers, find our future candidates that stand for what we believe in, to volunteer and help our local community," Wesolowski says.

This election was a tough loss for many, but staying involved and advocating for the causes that you care about are the most tangible ways to make a difference and protect the people in your life. It may not take away the hurt or frustration, but it's putting it toward what you believe is meaningful — and, in turn, this is a way to cultivate joy. Giving back to the community and meeting people where they are can be transformative in the way one understands the world and finds fulfillment.

The joy and the hope embodied by Harris throughout her historic campaign is not lost. The possibility exists in all of us to seek it out, embrace it, and refuse to let it be squandered. As she said in her concession speech: "While I concede this election, I do not concede the fight that fueled this campaign . . . the fight for freedom, for opportunity, for fairness, and the dignity of all people."

If you or someone you know is struggling, the National Alliance on Mental Illness has resources available, including a helpline at 1-800-950-NAMI (6424). You can also dial 988, the mental health crisis lifeline.

Abby Balter is a culture writer based in New York City. Abby is passionate about covering everything from politics and social justice to sex and relationships to the fashion and art landscape. Abby's work has been featured in PS, Boston Common Magazine, the Cambridge Chronicle, and more.