Musing Interruptus is a podcast meant for sharing thoughts and stories and enjoying idiomatic phrases and words in general. You can read along; the transcription is in the description of this episode. The idiomatic expressions are in italics. Try to get the meaning from the context and then look them up to see if you were right. If you like it, share it, but more importantly, continue the conversation. 
Hello, I’m Renée Valentina and this is Musing Interruptus. Nobody wants to hear it is our fault. That is actually the last thing I want to hear. Ever. I want to be right all the time. Ms. Right. I don’t even want to be anywhere close to wrong. However! And there always is a, however, isn’t there. We need to be open and listening. Keep those antennae up and monitoring. We owe it to our future selves to make good decisions today. Physical and emotional health do not happen overnight. Sometimes not even in a decade. It all starts with a It’s not them, it's you. 
When we tune in to what is going on around us we can get a clue about other people and what they are going through. Zoning out can be very useful and protective. There is some good in that, too. Paying too much attention to what is happening out there might lead you to forget about yourself. Then what? Are you just living for other people’s pleasure? If you are, then you should get paid for that. There are people you can pay for protection so you can carry out your business. 
Sometimes people can be mean, inconsiderate, selfish, and take a lot from you. And you might have given them all of that because you had that to give. What is not so great is when there is a lack of reciprocity. Call it a red light, a red flag, or whatever cute way you want to identify the alert that goes off when you realize you are in a one-sided relationship.
I guess sometimes we just need something so badly, we give it our all, because in our heart of hearts (remember that idiomatic expression?)... because in our heart of hearts we might feel that if we give enough, the other person will give us what we need back. If it starts out that way, I don’t know that you will ever get what you are hoping for. On the other hand, I am reminded of what a friend told me many moons ago, “Just because I don’t love you the way you would like me to love you, doesn’t mean I don’t.” I hated him for saying it. I hated he didn’t love me the way I needed to be loved. But that is different from not being loved at all. 
I’d like to know if you have a case in which things went your way after single-handedly keeping the relationship afloat. I have other mental images in mind when you are giving a relationship CPR or it is on life support and the other person just stands back to watch you. I get that sometimes you need to go down with the ship. The Dido song, “White Flag”,  which I hate, is a good example of just that. I’m going to tell you why I hate that song. It is melodious and the singer's voice is privileged. My beef is with the lack of self-respect and self-love that I infer. Going down with the ship implies a very romantic notion, going all the way, so to speak. In this case, letting yourself drown, by your own volition, in a watery grave. Just remember, ships have safety rafts, you can both escape the sinking relationship. The Titanic sank and so can your ship. Was it because you didn’t see the iceberg, were you drinking beer and dancing with someone other than your partner down below? Did the other person try to force you to wear a corset and a very heavy diamond? I mean, whatever reason, the ship is sinking, if you are the only one trying to cast the flooding waters overboard, then consider getting yourself to safety. Continue reading



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