Hello, Welcome. I’m Renée Valentina and this is Musing Interruptus. Musing Interruptus is a podcast for sharing thoughts and stories and enjoying idiomatic phrases. You can read along; the transcription is in the description of this episode; click on continue reading to open a Google Doc with the complete transcription. The idiomatic expressions are in italics. Try to get the meaning from the context and then look them up to see if you were right. If you like it, follow and share it, but more importantly, continue the conversation. Drop a comment with your answers to today’s questions! I love hearing from you! The background music is called Child’s Play by Blue Dot.
It’s coming down to the line. I’m sorry, but our ideas haven’t given us the desired results. One person suggested we parent-trap Santa and Mrs. Claus. You know, Lindsey Lohan style. Let me tell you, they both saw straight through it. They were having none of it. Someone else suggested we dose them. But we would just lose time waiting for the effect of the drugs to wear off, and honestly, that is not ethical. We can’t do anything illegal. A singer floated we organize a live aid for Christmas Spirit. But we all know what kind of reputation those events get, and it becomes all about the divas. Raúl thought we should just go to the North Pole and take over, but I reminded him that we don’t have the magic Santa has. He knows if you have been naughty or nice. He sees us when we are sleeping and knows when we are awake and who we are thinking of in the shower. He knows who ate those marshmallows in the cupboard and how many you can stick in your mouth at once. And why your mother’s favorite vase actually went missing. Did you scratch someone’s car and not leave a note? Santa saw that, too. Did you needlessly break someone’s heart?
You’re getting coal in your stocking for that one! How about taking Saturn’s name in vain? Tks… Were you speeding on a deserted highway? Did you break out of Hotel Califonia? How about throwing a brink through a window? Ghost your friends? Sadistically mistreat your underlings at work? At least three of you know what I mean. He saw that, too.  He also saw when you helped a complete stranger and supported your friends and family with no expectations. He saw when you took care of yourself when you needed it most. All of that. So, no, Raúl, we can’t just take his place. I don’t know… 
Wait a minute. This in, we just got news from Santa. He wrote a, a what? He wants us to read a statement. Of course will. Ladies and gentlemen, my dear listeners in the Musingverse, this is certainly unprecedented. It is my personal pleasure to transmit Santa’s message. It reads:
Ho, ho, ho! Dear boys and girls,
I have recently learned, through Musing Interruptus, that you have been sticking your nose in my personal affairs. That is naughty. You should know better by now, since you are all adults. Gossiping about people’s personal business is not only unkind; it is inelegant. I need to set the record straight here and now. The relationship I have with Ms. Mariah Carrey is and always will be of respect, as she is key to the miracle of Christmas cheer and Merriment. You should be ashamed of yourselves. As for Mrs. Claus’ visit to Acapulco. If you must know, we have an arrangement, and I think no one has the right to speculate or pass judgment on her or anyone. Continue reading