Jesus fucking christ…

Remember when I said I was scared of Jurassic World Dominion being as boring and annoying as everyone said it would be? Well unfortunately in this case, the claims made against this movie are true. This barely has anything redeemable regardless to make up for this poor excuse of a script. This might honestly be one of the worst written movies I’ve seen in theaters and I’ve seen Rise Of Skywalker and Multiverse Of Madness in theaters. The writing in this movie is so fucking unbelievable that I have to make this a spoiler log because I’m gonna have to spoil everything in this movie without any sugar coating, it’s not the worst one but it’s bottom 3 and probably the most broken.

But firstly are there positives? Sorta, the kills were kinda cool, visually its great, and uh i liked how the opening credits felt old? I think thats it, maybe I’m generous

Sooo right off the bat the tone is a mess, this movie plays a lot of pop songs that are completely out of place, they aren’t even nods or anything like “Mr sandman”, they are just shoved in and completely out of place.

The film focuses on Corey a lot as reviews have said but I expected him to just be bland…. Oh boy I fucking hated him. Corey is almost like Rey of the Halloween franchise but possibly even worse, he is annoying at best and completely fucking unbearable at worst, I hated this fuck every minute he was on screen. And no movie, him being “sensitive” as you say it does not justify him, I am sensitive too but it doesn’t give me an excuse to be an asinine cuntwad to everyone I know. His purpose in the story is only to have a stupid fucking love triangle between Allyson which makes no sense seeing as the whole fucking town thinks poorly on him AND Laurie has even seen him caught so she out of all people should be paranoid of him being near Allyson from the very fucking beginning. The film ALSO focuses on these kids who got him injured 4 TIMES throughout the fucking film as if they were so important to his character arc of some sort instead of the parents who’s kid was killed by him from a kick to a closet even tho there’s quite a bit of distance between the closet and the bar buuut ok. Corey then later on gets put inside some cave that Michael was hiding in, shouldn’t have Michael killed the guy who put him in the cave in the first place? There isn’t any reason why he SHOULDN’T have or anything. Michael tries to kill Corey and I almost got happy until he sees Corey killed someone so that means Michael becomes a little bitch to Corey throughout the film… yet in the last movie the whole town got some mental patient to kill himself too, shouldn’t THEY have this connection to Michael as well? This pretty much fucks the stakes entirely since this would mean anyone could make Michael into an entire puppet and just kill him off. 

Meanwhile Laurie on the otherhand is completely calm despite her daughter getting killed only 4 years ago, so basically the logic is she was paranoid for 40 years when her friends got killed yet he comes back and kills a two parts of her family and is easily able to get over it? Huh? She also grabs a knife from Corey after he killed himself, meaning the cops can easily frame her as killing Corey and of course because movie, allyson HAPPENS to conveniently see the knife that’s killed Corey in Laurie’s hands, brilliant. 

Even the ignoring the writing, this still has completely poor acting and dialogue regardless along with being an absolute tonal mess while offering little to no value of fun, entertainment or exciting. At least Halloween 3 had it’s own reason for not having Michael, this has him on the poster and everyone and becomes a fucking puppet in his own movie. And fuck you film for copying the iconic shot from the original but with Corey AND having him take Michael’s mask just like that, you disgust me.

I still see people say Halloween 3 is the worst one when absolutely backwards written feces like this exists but why do I bother? Why bother asking for actual effort, entertainment, and unique wonderful experiences when you can get toddlers with brain damage to write your scripts to be called better than movies (that while can be flawed at times) have a decent amount of care, respect, effort, and have no means of disrespecting the audience unlike this blasphemous shitshow.