• Longlegs

    Longlegs

    ★★★★½

    Shit myself and felt it running down my long legs

  • Talk to Me

    Talk to Me

    ★★★

    But I am telling you right now, that motherfucker, that motherfucker back there is not real!

  • Abigail

    Abigail

    ★★½

    7-foot muscular Elon Musk has great comedic delivery

  • In a Violent Nature

    In a Violent Nature

    ★★½

    She definitely got stretched out more

  • Gladiator II

    Gladiator II

    ★★★★

    Paul Mescal movie star
    Paul Mescal dirty sweaty smelly shirtless
    Paul Mescal gladiator shorts flexing arms
    Paul Mescal two swords swinging angry sweat dripping nice legs

    Complaints about bad plotting, sequel bullshit, and a total lack of bite in battle sequences or otherwise are all valid and correct but I will firmly push back against Paul Mescal haters. In fact, all other criticisms are rendered meaningless because of the power of our glorious Paul Mescal.

  • The Bikeriders

    The Bikeriders

    ★★★½

    Masculinity is a prison but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t go 30 in a 25 on the drive home😎

  • Your Monster

    Your Monster

    ★★★

    Start planning your Lisa Frankenstein x Your Monster double feature movie nights now

  • Trap

    Trap

    ★★★★★

    Got to meet M. Night Shyamalan at the world premiere so this is kind of the best day of my life but I freaked so much talking to him that I forgot Josh Hartnett was standing right next to me. Made me feel even worse about it when he took his shirt off in the movie. What a star performance.

    Funniest movie of the year, Shyamalan and Mukdeeprom go god mode like 20 times, started crying at the end. Family is everything. Best day of my life!!!

  • Civil War

    Civil War

    ★½

    One of a kind. A movie about the power of images. Yet it's so vague, so tonally inept that it managed to garner some laughter from my audience while our characters stood next to a mass grave, so full of creative decisions from music cues to writing to action that consistently pull it away from being a harrowing anti-war film or even just a film that makes us feel some kind of emotion for a small group of photojournalists risking…

  • The Fall Guy

    The Fall Guy

    ★½

    A love letter to making bad movies

  • Ferrari

    Ferrari

    ★★★★½

    I have never felt the mood in a movie theater shift as much as it did during THAT scene. Unreal.

  • nothing, except everything.

    nothing, except everything.

    The YouTube top comments for this are actually terrifying

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