• Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1

    Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1

    ★★½

    The bit where the snake wears the only lady like a puppet is genuinely horrifying.

  • Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

    Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

    Gets worst on every rewatch: visually disgusting, nothing happens. An absolute slog.

  • Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

    Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

    ★★★½

    Radcliffe can't sell the anger, but the final act still slaps.

  • Asteroid City

    Asteroid City

    ★★★★★

    The kids are alright: Anderson’s rowdy testament to the sadnesses of middle-age being lovingly obliterated by the sheer, dizzying wonder of adolescence and the virtues of finding beauty in all the cruelties of life. You can’t wake up if you don’t fall asleep. 

    Somehow even more beautiful and wise than it was two years ago, and Anderson’s singular artistic pinnacle. One of the best films ever made.

  • Grand Theft Hamlet

    Grand Theft Hamlet

    ½

    COVID-19 was an existential atom bomb for British theatre in that everybody realised just how staid and dull it was. Unlike in Euorpe, where theatre fulfils an important civic function and people below the age of 65 like to go and see it, British theatres realised that nobody gave a shit and - more pressingly - that their main demographic had been largely killed off. But because actors are narcissists they refused to learn anything and just retreated further into…

  • 12 Angry Men

    12 Angry Men

    ★★½

    Punishingly boring, script-as-delivery-system snoozefest save a few moments where the anger finally gets the engine going. If I wanted to go to the theatre I’d just go to the theatre: it’s insane that over in France the New cinema was just being born, in the ‘ol US of A it was on its deathbed.
     
    Surprised they don’t just distribute this via PDF.

  • Doubt

    Doubt

    ★★

    Vintage mid-naughties Weinstein effort: you don’t need to make movies that are intelligent, you need to make movies that make their audience feel intelligent. Always a pleasure to watch PSH, MS remains the most overrated actress ever.

  • Misericordia

    Misericordia

    ★★★½

    “This thing of darkness I acknowledge mine.”
    - The Tempest

    Bizarre, morbidly hilarious bucolic sex-comedy, minus the fucking but with added full-frontal erections and a bonus dose of legitimately brutal ultraviolence. Been a while since a movie left me slack-jawed like this one, and when it ended everyone in the screening has this hilarious moment of shared laughter.

    It’s reminiscent of Hitchcock, but everyone seems to be aware that they’re in a film - and it’s a comedy. It genuinely…

  • Behind the Curtain: Stranger Things: The First Shadow

    Behind the Curtain: Stranger Things: The First Shadow

    ★★★

    Not necessarily my thing and it is basically a glorified advertisement, but I was really impressed by the proper honesty and genuine candour they capture the whole process with. Sonia Friedman snapping at the illusionist guys to take their jobs seriously was great.

    I’m a real sucker for anything ‘backstage’ and I love watching actors working so this was a real treat to get to watch. I just wish it had been longer: there’s this amazing ensemble of young actors chomping at the bit to get out there but they never really emerge as individuals beyond the ways they relate to their characters on the show.

  • Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues

    Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues

    ★★★

    Dazed and Confused but it’s just me and my buddies sitting in my buddy Kieran’s garage, drinking Pepsi Max and quoting this at each other.

  • Mary Poppins Returns

    Mary Poppins Returns

    ★½

    Always pissed me off that the entire final act revolves around Cheeky Chappy Lin Manuel figuring out how to climb Big Ben when MARY POPPINS IS HIS LOVE INTEREST

  • Pitch Perfect 3

    Pitch Perfect 3

    ½

    Fun fact: we always go to the cinema as a family on Boxing Day. I got completely overruled on this one and we went to see this. My entire family fell asleep so I left the cinema, went for a few solo beers, and sat back down in my seat just as it ended and my family never knew.

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