Look deep into my eyes and tell me this movie isn't good.
I fucking dare you
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Home Alone 2: Lost in New York 1992
So good to see Piers Morgan in his first acting job since leaving This Morning.
You work them damn pigeons girl.
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Moana 2 2024
It’s genuinely saddening to me that a movie studio who made such empowering and thought provoking and entertaining animated movies that would rip up the Best Animated Feature category and now 14 years on from when one of their movies got a Best Picture nom, their latest flick is simply just fine.
Moana 2 clearly lacks the musical flair brought by Lin Manuel Miranda or a plot that doesn’t feel like a rehash of the first one, but definitely has…
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Expend4bles 2023
Christ almighty.
This wasn't good, this was not good. Mhm.
I'm actually confused what was the need for this movie? A total cast change, a bump up from a PG-13, Megan fucking Fox? And for what? Nothing.
Let me tell you something, there are three factors I've been hearing people call Expend4bles, which sounds wierd as fuck when you say it out loud, Expend 4 balls.
Now those three factors are; embarrassing, cliche and weak. And I could honestly give… -
Maria 2024
Stunningly beautiful and crafted to perfection in its portrayal of the titular opera singer, Maria is a biopic in the highest octave led by an Oscar-worthy performance by Angelina Jolie, stunning visuals that immerses you into the suave-soaked city of Paris and gorgeous direction by Pablo Larraín that despite its arguably his worst in the strong women trilogy, it has to be the most poetic as a famed opera singer lives out her last days in Paris singing opera for herself, not for others.
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Love Actually 2003
Sometimes there’s moments in cinema that make you snap out of the film, making you realise that this movie is not real life.
For instance, no one, not a single person, not one person in their heart of hearts thinks that Margaret Thatcher is a saucy minx.
I mean, some serious intervention will be needed if they do so.
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Subservience 2024
Warning: 🚨🚨🚨
Don’t look up Subservience on Netflix because maybe, just maybe, they might try and make you watch Subservience on Netflix.
And, obviously, we don’t want that.
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A Town Called Panic: Christmas Panic! 2013
Watched the British version that premiered on CBBC around 7 years ago, all that time I’ve been looking for this lost archive piece.
And finally, I’ve found it. I’m presuming this is how the archaeologists felt when they found King Tut or The Lost City of Gold. Absolute scenes. -
Conclave 2024
‘I’d be the Richard Nixon of Popes’
I’m still taken aback by Conclave, a film which was ringing with praise from all the film festivals to the point where I couldn’t wait around another month when the Americans were reiterating those praises when it got released across the pond. But now, after watching Conclave, the Oscars better be prepared of the unholy rumbling Conclave will produce.
Ralph Fiennes surely has to be in the shout for Best Actor, he moves…
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How the Grinch Stole Christmas 2000
Sorry my review is a bit later than expected, I was too busy doing jazzercise at 5:30.
Had to cancel dinner with myself just to make this damn review.
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A Nonsense Christmas with Sabrina Carpenter 2024
Felt like a Saturday Night Live show which to a British person is not that funny. But at the end of the day, we saw Sabrina Carpenter serve cunt as she made Espresso Martinis so who can really complain?
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Smile 2 2024
Although I did enjoy this more than the first one, two hours is a LONG time for a Smile movie and I was expecting a whole load of backstory and lore and I didn’t really get that, all I got was a hell of a lot of product placement and a repetitive second act.
But honestly , I won’t lie to you I still had a great time, cutting off 30-45 minutes and leaving it on the editing table wasn’t…