The Ward
Dan Abel

Review by Dan Abel Patron

The Ward 2010

★★

Watched Aug 15, 2024

Kristen is someone who most would consider mentally disturbed. After burning down a farmhouse she is committed to the North Bend Psychiatric Hospital, an asylum that is equipped to deal with situations like hers. She is placed in a wing known as "The Ward" where those who are deemed a danger to themself or others are housed. Within her first few days in the ward she begins to see the disfigured ghost of a woman.

Anytime someone asks "What is the worst movie ever made by Joh..." they are immediately cut off by horror hounds mid sentence with the title The Ward. For many years I have heard nothing but disdain, disappointment, and outright mockery toward this film but I've never gotten around to taking a crack at it myself. I think maybe it's time we change that today. It's time to see if I agree with the naysayers.

Anyone who follows my writing knows that I love asylums in horror films. Even the shittiest of films that feature an asylum get a bit of extra leeway from me. Why? I have no idea. Its just one of those things I guess. The irony of this film is that the "crazy woman" it stars is the real life bed-shitting crazy ex-wife of Johnny Depp herself, Amber Heard. Anyway, I hate to say this but film is the ultimate version of someone "phoning it in." If I didn't know it was a Carpenter film I would never guessed that he was the director even if I got fifty guesses with a million dollar prize for getting it right. He didn't even do the musical score and that is usually par for the course in his films. I'm not even sure how this film got a R rating because there is no nudity, barely any cursing, and most of the kills are those lame cut-away shots that everyone hates.

The naysayers were absolutely right. This film sucks. I might have a bit of a more favorable opinion toward it if it was a low budget bargain bin find on Tubi by some unknown director but it wouldn't count for much.
John Carpenter's last good film was Cigarette Burns, an entry in the Masters of Horror television series.

The Ward is ASS!

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