• Wicked

    Wicked

    ★★★★

    First off, David Ehrlich is a total loser with an inflated sense of self-importance (not unlike most “professional” critics, who are really just bitter failed artists themselves beneath their pretensions and detached cynicism who project their own self-hatreds onto the Popular Thing of the Moment) who has contributed little of value to the art of filmmaking writ large. Imagine getting genuinely upset about a film that has this much going for it and is this novel within the realm of…

  • The Wizard of Oz

    The Wizard of Oz

    ★★★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    The quintessential American fairytale - a truly timeless production where lonely frontier girl Dorothy Gale is swept away to a surreal parallel universe (not unlike a Japanese Isekai story or any of the classic "otherworld" folk tales found in multiple countries throughout the world) where every facet of Oz helps her confront things she would otherwise be too afraid to face in "reality". Surprised at how well the effects in this have held up even though the film is now…

  • Frank Herbert's Dune

    Frank Herbert's Dune

    ★★

    Gets points from me for being pretty faithful to the novel.

    That being said, the costuming is some of the worst of all time with the Spacing Guild looking like Coneheads, Paul Atreides looking like the Karate Kid, the Sardukar looking like French combat chefs, and the Baron looking like Oriental Hugh Hefner. The production design is equally funny, with the Harkonnen combat arena looking like a dojo. It actually gets so distracting that even if you were to try…

  • Rebel Moon – Part Two: The Scargiver

    Rebel Moon – Part Two: The Scargiver

    ★½

    Why watch Dune: Part Two when you could watch Rebel Moon - Part Two: The Scargiver?

  • Longest Third Date

    Longest Third Date

    ★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Influencers do not deserve rights.

  • Hazbin Hotel

    Hazbin Hotel

    ★★½

    I tried to like this, I really did.

    Some decent ideas and animation for an independent work.

    Shame about the writing.

  • Bride of the Gorilla

    Bride of the Gorilla

    ½

    One of the most baffling things I have ever seen.

    I got suckered in by the premise, yet the titular Gorilla is almost nowhere to be found.

    Some filmmaking decisions here are Room-tier (Wiseau, not Larson).

    I kept accidentally calling this "My Husband, the Gorilla" while watching.

    That might have been a better film.

  • Salem's Lot

    Salem's Lot

    ★★

    zzzzZZZZzzzzzZZZzzz

  • I, Tonya

    I, Tonya

    ★★★★

    I must thank this film for introducing me to "Goodbye Stranger" by Supertramp.

  • The Phantom of the Opera

    The Phantom of the Opera

    ★★★

    Some nice cinematography for the time and great use of colors, especially when the Phantom dons the Red Death costume.

    Far from a definitive adaptation of Theroux's story - still waiting for a prestige one a lá Eggers' "Nosferatu" (provided it is great) considering the best one we have is the Royal Albert Hall version of the ALW musical. If we can do that musical with prestige filmmaking, we'd have a fucking masterpiece on our hands.

  • Dune: Part Two

    Dune: Part Two

    ★★★★★

    I'm back.

    Anyway, rewatched this at least twice again in the interim. Infinitely rewatchable. Close to perfect. People may still be underrating how truly special this is. Probably the best Hollywood film of the past twenty years, or maybe the best film of the past twenty years full stop. Recontextualizes and elevates the first part to even higher quality - decisions that seemed questionable in Part One (the "running through the desert" in the "Third Act" that many criticized makes…

  • The Great Gatsby

    The Great Gatsby

    ★★½

    The Get Gotsby

    Watched for the pretty cinematography and Ralph Lauren costuming.

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