Airborne Sturgeon? It's No Joke

Sturgeon have been around since the dinosaur age, and they look it.

They have long, flat snouts and hefty bodies covered in sharp, bony plates. [In Florida,] Gulf sturgeon can grow up to 8 feet long and weigh 200 pounds ...

And every now and then one jumps out of the water,

high and fast, twisting their armored girth in midair and returning to the depths with a stunning splash.

If you're cruising by in an open boat, the result could be very unpleasant.

Leaping sturgeon have injured three people on the Suwannee [River in Florida] so far this year, including a woman on a Jet Ski and a girl whose leg was shattered when one of the big fish jumped aboard her boat. Eight others were hit last year [...]

"These injuries are very impressive," said Lawrence Lottenberg, director of trauma surgery at the University of Florida College of Medicine in nearby Gainesville. "You've got people sitting on the front of an open boat, and the boat is going 20, 30, 40 miles per hour. The fish jumps up and usually slaps these people right across their face and upper chest. Almost every one of them, universally, has been knocked unconscious."

Abby Goodnough has more details, courtesy of the International Herald Tribune.

Did I happen to mention that these are big fish?

"You'll be sitting out there," said Melanie Carter, who boats on the river with her husband, "and then all the sudden, 5, 10 feet away from you, a big one will jump up and scare you half to death."

No kidding? Cool! How long before we see the politicians jump on it?

Islamofascist sturgeons scaring innocent boaters half to death! Details at eleven!!

Never let an opportunity go to waste, right?

Sturgeon Alert: RED!