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Showing posts from March, 2009

Why is it so hard to get into a decent asylum these days???

Welcome, Welcome one and all, to my first posting by a guest blogger. Her name is Jessica Cowles-Rios. She is a talented writer and just a bit zany- as you will soon discover. Crazy or crazy brilliant is the question... I need a vacation. Boy, do I need a vacation. I will have had one day off between March 16 and April 3, and that day was last Sunday. I’m just a little burned out. Obviously my plan to get to Europe via pyramid scheme didn’t pan out as I had planned, but I’m not a girl to get dissuaded that easily. So yesterday, I was sitting at my desk (not working again and as usual) brainstorming ideas on how I can get away from it all with close to no funds or vacation time left. Hmmm, this one is a toughie but I’m a creative, resourceful girl who can think outside the box, so I wasn’t worried. It wasn’t like time was a factor. I had 8-10 hours to ponder the problem. All of a sudden, it came to me! A MENTAL INSTITUTION! Oh it was perfect in every way. The cost was totally covered

Letter to graduate heading to college

Dear Kelly, When I was eighteen I wished I knew so much more. The world was a big scary place filled with tons and tons of scary people. Who was I? What in the world was I going to do now? How was I supposed to get through every day? It’s really kind of mean the way the world just expects us to cope with everything just because we’re a certain age. Over the years I have figured a few things out. Actually , I figured them out, forgot them and had to relearn them a few times over. So I thought if I could share my viewpoint with you maybe some things just might make a little more sense sooner. I believe you should always share what you learn just in case you might help someone else. The following are maybe only true in my mind. Feel free to edit, interpret or ignore. 1. Every one and every situation has value to you. Look for it. 2. No one has power over you unless you give it to them. YOU CHOOSE to be offended, insulted, hurt, to feel inferior to be manipulated. You can choose not to fee

I regret to inform you

Dear Staff, Friends and Co-Workers. It is with deepest regret that I inform you I will not be able to join you at work today. I am currently in my basement, under the stairs adjacent to a northwest, southeast wall for fear of a wandering tornado. I have the phone in one hand with 911 on speed dial and a fire extinguisher in the other. I am wearing rubber-sole shoes in the event of a lightning strike, a swimsuit and life preserver in the event of a flood and a warm parka in case of sudden winter weather. Don’t worry I have packed a few supplies. I have a gallon of fresh water, a six pack and a box of crackers- (good for munchies, hangovers and morning sickness). I have a pipe wrench in case of burglary or failing pipes. However, could you please send over a bottle of Paxil, a bag of maxi pads and a priest who is familiar with the last rites? With sincere gratitude, Christine Mikowski

In regards to Vicadin, Jessica.

A new aquaintence of mine recently made a comment that brought to mind one of those subjects that rattle around in my brain and never really leaves. She wondered what all the fuss about using vicadin to relieve mental pain was about. She's ok with the plan. Pain killer+ mental pain. Seems like a simple equasion. I can't argue the logic. Now I am not a big pill popper. Not that I wouldn't be, it's just that my personal pharmacy isn't well stocked. I do keep my big wigs around for emergencies, long past the expiration date listed on the label. Some people have flashlights and extra batteries. I can't find my flashlights when I need them and the batteries are always the wrong size. But, But, I say, I have Darvocet and it's generic equivalent for when I over do on the dusting or laundry or something. I have 1/2 of a bottle of zoloft that a friend donated to me when she heard about the amazing transformation that starts about three days before my peri