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* Posts by jake

28810 publicly visible posts • joined 7 Jun 2007

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Talk down to Siri like it's a mere servant – your safety demands it

jake Silver badge
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Re: TF?

See that phrase down at the bottom of every article, the one that says "Tips and corrections"? Ever wonder what it's for?

(Granted, ElReg could make it look a trifle more clickable ... )

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Secret weekend office bonk came within inch of killing sysadmin

jake Silver badge
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Re: Aircon Leaks

I hear a variation on this story every couple years. I always question it. Why? Well, I don't know about you, but I've pulled the cap on both fuel tanks and the vent/cleanouts of blackwater tanks. They look absolutely nothing like each other (first clue), they obviously have completely different purposes (second clue) ... and of course their smell is a dead giveaway.

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jake Silver badge
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Re: Live Steam

And in those days, it came to pass that incompetent staff were summarily fired. And low, there was much rejoicing throughout the land, for they were difficult to work with and made everybody's life a living hell whenever possible.

Well, that's the way it should work, anyway. Gut feeling is they got a raise for figuring out how to re-route the pipe after the fact ...

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jake Silver badge

WTF?

One of the first rules of AC work is "Always have proper drainage for the evaporator." ... It's not an afterthought, or something you have to go back to the shop to get. It is designed into each individual system, just like the ducting and power. It's just something you do, like breathing. It's in the estimate, and/or the bid. The parts for any particular install are on the truck with everything else. As a contractor, if my AC guy didn't have this prominently listed in his/her paperwork, I'd find a new AC guy pronto.

Also, I've got to ask ... How many cubic feet was that one system conditioning? It'd take an awful lot of air to wring out enough water to deposit an inch on a typical data center floor ... more if it's a raised floor, of course. This is especially true seeing as modern AC systems recycle interior air[0], meaning once the water is condensed out, it's out.

[0] Yes, I know, "fresh" air is introduced in larger systems, but that happens at a heat exchanger, typically on the roof where the noise of the air handling system won't annoy anybody inside. That condensation is typically handled by the roof, same as rain water ...

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Home taping revisited: A mic in each hand, pointing at speakers

jake Silver badge
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Re: "trying on shoes in a shoe shop"

Different manufacturers use different sized lasts. And plants on different continents belonging to the same manufacturer use different sized lasts. The only the only good way to purchase shoes is to physically try them on.

Last time I bought "walking the dawgs" shoes, I tried on four identically labeled pairs. One pair was too small, one too big, and two fit. I bought the two. They were made in Mexico, the large pair was made in Malaysia, and the small pair was made in Taiwan. Caveat emptor.

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jake Silver badge
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Re: clock hacker!

The technical term is "recovering clock".

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jake Silver badge

I've got a box with ...

... about 250 C90 cassette recordings of John Peel from the mid '70s. The few I've listened to recently sound like hell, but I keep them in the hopes that someday I'll be able to recover some of the rare shit he played. For example, the complete pre-release of Siouxsie_and_the_Banshees "The Scream", which was remastered by the studio a couple days later for the official release ... The two recordings are quite different, and my younger self quite preferred the original. (No, not the Peel Sessions, this was the actual album.)

Yes, I know, there is too much noise & not enough signal on that old rust ... and I did digitize them all almost two decades ago. Logic says I should probably just junk 'em. And yet I won't. Memories :-)

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jake Silver badge
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Re: C30 C60 C90 Go!

Thankfully.

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MY GOD, IT'S FULL OF CARS: SpaceX parks a Tesla in orbit (just don't mention the barge)

jake Silver badge
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Re: Great Headline, Register

... and a step to the ri-i-i-ight!

I wouldn't call it a Space Opera. More a homage to B movie horror.

One of the most entertaining films ever made, IMO.

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jake Silver badge
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Re: Speeding fine has been levied

He's got the LotusKludge over C? Fascinating ...

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jake Silver badge
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Re: Cool. Just Cool

And I'm sure your "dear Wife" is ever so pleased, Geoff.

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jake Silver badge
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Re: And, for the Brits...

Skylon? Isn't that a cemetery?

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jake Silver badge
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Re: Cool. Just Cool

Looks like we're running about 2 parents to one not (yet) a parent.

Interesting. I guessed about 1:1 when I made the post.

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jake Silver badge
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Re: Cool. Just Cool

Judging by the sophomoric attempt at humo(u)r[0], I rather suspect you weren't yet an itch in your father's pants when my daughter was born.

[0] I mean, really? That one was old before Shakespeare set quill to parchment ...

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jake Silver badge
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Re: Mafia mystery finally solved.

By that logic, my 1965 Meyers Manx isn't a car. I suspect the California DMV might take issue with that opinion.

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jake Silver badge
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Waddayamean "Future archaeologist"?

To all intents and purposes the purpose is religious.

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jake Silver badge
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Re: Awesome

That's Link Hogthrob. Capt. Hogthrob to you.

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jake Silver badge
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Re: Academics

You, or any other "normal person" (whatever that means!), could easily "nip off down to the shops" in a bog-stock, as shipped to the moon, Lunar Rover. If you had one in your garage, of course.

https://youtu.be/FnyQ4-xyrUI?t=216

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jake Silver badge
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Pint

Re: Saw it from 3 miles away

Thanks for the eyewitness report, Gene.

This round's on me.

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jake Silver badge
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Re: Cool. Just Cool

I can beat that hands down.

I assisted in the delivery of my daughter.

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jake Silver badge
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Re: Academics

The first car in space was actually driven by a human being. On the moon.

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jake Silver badge
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Re: probably the *real* achievements are not so obvious.

I guess he's going to need some steenkeeng barges ...

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jake Silver badge
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Re: Great Headline, Register

I thought the headline was good, but too obvious to comment on. Doesn't particularly make me feel old ... I leave that to my grand daughter ;-)

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jake Silver badge
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Not a '57

The quad headlamp design was released in '58 ...

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jake Silver badge

Can't sell it, the battery's old and tired.

Junkyards won't take 'em for hazmat reasons.

Recycling them is a bitch.

So how to get rid of the thing?

I know! I'm rich, I'll send it to Mars where I can't be jailed for illegal dumping!

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Remember the Yorkie pizza horror? Here's who won our exclusive Reg merch...

jake Silver badge
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Re: Gravy/Chips issues.

Actually, that pretty much describes how I first ran across the monstrosity. An afternoon of playing hockey on a frozen lake in Stratford, 170ish kilometers East of Montréal. Only about -5C, but with a fairly decent breeze.

After the game, we adjourned to a local restaurant. They offered me a plate of poutine. I thought they were hazing me (being a Californian & all). But no, they were dead serious ... I was polite and sampled it. 'Orrible, 'orrible concept, kinda reminds me of the contents of the pig bins. Instead I went with the soup of the day (a delightful concoction of beef & barley with local greenhouse veg) and bread&butter, all made on the premises (including the butter!). Much more civilized.

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jake Silver badge
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Re: truly a north-south thing?

There are reason that Yorkshire is God's Country. This is one of them.

Gravy on scraps? Uh, no. Not unless you like eating wall paper paste.

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jake Silver badge
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Re: Gravy/Chips issues.

Poutine, by any name, is bloody disgusting.

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jake Silver badge
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Here in the US ....

... the Yorkshire Pudding is known as a "popover".

In the immortal words of Ogden Nash:

"Let's call Yorkshire pudding / A fortunate blunder:

It's a sort of popover / That turned and popped under."

The pizza hybrid is probably more like 3000 calories AWCT. TINW.

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It's been 50 years since those damn dirty apes took the planet by storm

jake Silver badge

The Varsity, Palo Alto, 3PM, July 17th 1969.

That's the place, time and date I first saw TPotA. How do I remember? Neil Armstrong, Buzz Aldrin and Michael Collins had taken a huge leap for mankind the day before ... and 3PM shows mid-week were 30 cents that summer.

I thought the movie was hogwash. Still do. Apollo still fascinates me.

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What did we say about Tesla's self-driving tech? SpaceX Roadster skips Mars, steers to asteroids

jake Silver badge

It occurs to me the title may be prophetic ...

"Steers to Asteroids" ...

Nobody's going to be growing beef anywhere outside Earth's atmosphere for a very, very long time. It occurs to me that shipping steers (half or whole) outside our home gravity well might be a seriously profitable business sometime in the next 100 years ... Dried beef is all very well and good, but there's nothing like a nice rare steak! And then to really clean up, start actually farming beef on Mars or the Moon.

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jake Silver badge
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Re: "a space-faring publication"?

Duncan,

https://www.theregister.co.uk/2016/06/16/lester_haines_obituary/

I don't think anybody has had the heart/ability to pick up the reins ...

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jake Silver badge
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Re: Mars Colony

How does a colony on Mars, which will be totally dependent on the Earth for survival into the foreseeable future, protect humankind against a "dinosaur extinction" asteroid collision?

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jake Silver badge
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Re: It was never going anywhere NEAR Mars

Here's a handy page to give folks who are unclear on the concept a rough idea of how much vacuum there is between planets ... And please remember, this is only a one dimensional representation!

If The Moon Were Only One Pixel

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jake Silver badge
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Yes, there have been coal fired cars. Here's one:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pUgVCR_658M

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It took us less than 30 seconds to find banned 'deepfake' AI smut on the internet

jake Silver badge

I see teh intrawebtubes haven't changed teenagers appreciably.

On the bright side, they eventually grow up.

But, there's always a new crop of pre-teens waiting to fill the void.

And so it was, and ever shall be.

Can we as a species please grow up and get over being shocked for the sake of being shocked? It's getting very old ... and it's exactly the reaction that the people who "invent" this kind of thing are looking for. Stop playing into their hands, prudes!

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Intel adopts Orwellian irony with call for fast Meltdown-Spectre action after slow patch delivery

jake Silver badge

That's not irony.

That's 100% Grade A Corporate Bullshit.

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Morrisons launches bizarre Yorkshire Pudding pizza thing

jake Silver badge
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Re: Mum's gone to Iceland

I called Marten, a rabbi friend of mine, and although normally he's a stoat fellow, he tried to weasel out of this question. After badgering him about it, he minkly admitted "Actually, no. Otter isn't kosher. But then it was considered a fish when the list was drawn up, so I'd take that with a grain of salt." ... I knew I could ferret out an answer.

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jake Silver badge
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Re: Made my own version over the weekend

"and let the kids (4 and 2) make there own pizza in a "orkshire pud""

THIS makes the entire 'orrible concept worthwhile. Thanks for restoring my faith in humanity, Andrew.

Beer ...because with two littles that age, you probably don't get out much.

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Shopper f-bombed PC shop staff, so they mocked her with too-polite tech tutorial

jake Silver badge
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Re: Bah!

Seems to me I've heard of something like the Plaxton's case ...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2riRAGzNzvQ

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Nunes FBI memo: Yep, it's every bit as terrible as you imagined

jake Silver badge
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Re: Really?

"Fox and Hannity are entertainers hired to invent dirty entertainment."

FTFY.

For small values of "entertainment", of course.

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jake Silver badge
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Re: How to get rid of fleas on your dog

Yeahbut ... That's hormones, not politics.

Oh, wait ...

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Weird interview questions

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Answer:

No, but I can upsell a convection oven while singing "Mary had a little lamb, with mint sauce, mashed potatoes and gravy" ...

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Accused Brit hacker Lauri Love will NOT be extradited to America

jake Silver badge

Thank heavens for that.

You lot pay to deal with the silly little skiddie.

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You're the IT worker in charge of securing the cloud for your company. Welcome to Hell

jake Silver badge

"You're the IT worker in charge of securing the cloud for your company."

No, no, no, no, no ... I'm the IT consultant in charge of bringing the company back out of the inherently not securable cloud. But I can see how you might make that mistake.

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jake Silver badge
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Re: Now let's play this through for a UNIX(oid) shop

Windows is secure nowadays?

Huh. Who would have thunk it.

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jake Silver badge
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Re: ..Osborne, you were spoilt!

Panasonic Sr. Partner. 38 pounds of luggable (including case, modem, manuals & floppies). At least it had a built-in printer. I still have it. You get attached to the daftest things after a quarter million air-miles together.

It has an MFM controller in the expansion slot, a 20 meg hard drive in one of the floppy bays, and an aftermarket hack that upped the stock 256K of RAM to a more usable768K. I used an external modem. Yes, it still works. Came with Panasonic-labeled MS-DOS 2.2, but it currently boots MS-DOS 3.3 ... It might be hard for some of the younger readers to believe, but a LOT of RealWorld[tm] work was done with such primitive devices.

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‘I crashed a rack full of servers with my butt’

jake Silver badge

Was filling the truck with diesel ...

... and noticed a youngster at the next pump getting out to go in to pay in advance. He left the car out of gear, and no parking brake. It started rolling back, towards my truck. I yelled, and lunged for his vehicle .... and caught my toe in the fuel line. Landed face first, with only the thought to get up and stop the car crashing into my truck, which I did. But not before the nozzle popped out of the tank unnoticed by me, and proceeded to pump diesel all over the station's forecourt. Failed auto-shutoff.

The attendant said that it was only about three gallons lost between the time he he noticed and managed to hit the emergency shut off, but have you ever spilled three gallons of diesel under pressure? What a freaking mess. That stuff gets EVERYWHERE! Fortunately, it's a small town, so we called the kids father ... who made him clean up the mess. In foggy weather the forecourt was slicker than owl shit for months afterwards.

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Epic spacewalk, epic FAIL: Cosmonauts point new antenna in the wrong direction

jake Silver badge

Damn litterbugs.

Can't escape the scum, even in LEO ...

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