* Posts by chivo243

6665 publicly visible posts • joined 10 May 2010

Sometimes shining a light on a nuclear problem just makes things worse

chivo243 Silver badge
Facepalm

Interactive Displays

We recently had some LARGE interactive displays start going crazy. But only between 9 and 10 in the morning. Turned out there are cameras along the bezel of the screen to aid in the touchiness, and the sun would shine into this room just right for an hour or so to make it act possessed. Once the seasons changed it was no longer an issue. Plus there are now some foil screens on the window now as well

chivo243 Silver badge
Facepalm

Yes! Move the person out of the way!

Long ago, when wireless networking was best effort (and on 2.4ghz), we had one problem area in the school, call it one problem room. When ever the students started all writing a test on the laptops, the wireless would drop out of this room. We busted our heads and asses trying to get our minds around this problem. After a few observations of the issue, the coin dropped. Every time there was test on the laptops, the instructor would position themselves squarely in the doorway(to observe for cheating etc). This instructor didn't miss any meals, and didn't know when to push away from the dinner table. The AP was directly across the hall from their door and their large carriage was blocking the signal. We asked them to move away from the door, and presto, connection to the network was restored! We couldn't bring ourselves to tell them it was their own fault...

Flying taxis? That'll be AFTER you've launched light sabres and anti-gravity skateboards

chivo243 Silver badge
Coat

Re: Flying taxis = wrong solution to right problem

Better solution would be the "Tubes" in Futurama. Radio City Music Hall Please!

chivo243 Silver badge

Johnny Cab!

+1 for Johnny Cab photo!

+1 for Dabsy's new photo! Noh is vhen vee dance on Sprokets!

BOFH: You brought nothing to the party but a six-pack of regret

chivo243 Silver badge
Happy

'You brought nothing to the party but a six pack of regret?'

I'd buy it! It must be good with 6-pack and regret in the title!

Google scolded for depriving the poor of privacy as Chinese malware bundled on phones for hard-up Americans

chivo243 Silver badge
Thumb Down

Burner Phone

I was on vacation in the States 3 years ago, and had to buy a burner phone, it had so much google crap installed. I had to login with a google account, and I made the mistake of using my primary gmail account, instead of on of my throw-away accounts. To this day I am seeing weird behavior in my calendar.

Never again!

Shhh! It's us, Microsoft. Yes, it's 2020. We're here with a new build of Windows 10

chivo243 Silver badge
Unhappy

Re: XP Home Edition!

I feel your pain, but Home Edition was a silly experiment that we still feel to day... How many flavors of Vanilla do we need? How many builds of Vanilla?

I'll only say that networking for Home Edition was fscked... to dredge up any other bad memories would cost me at the pub or the shrink.

chivo243 Silver badge
Windows

XP Home Edition!

Burn it with fire! NOW!

Chin up, kids, and mind the webcam: Honor lifts lid on MagicBook 14-inch and 15.6-inch laptops

chivo243 Silver badge
Meh

Ma(gi)cBook?

Expect a visit from Cupertino's highest paid mouth pieces. Adding a couple of letters won't cut it, just like the company logo that had the apple with two stems and no bite out of it?

Eggheads have crunched the numbers and the results are in: It's not just your dignity you lose with e-scooters, life and limb are in peril, too

chivo243 Silver badge
Devil

Re: Safest form of transport is....

"Elevators (lifts), apparently. I'd certainly believe it."

Famous last words of one of Simon's managers! I think Stephen had recorded it too!

chivo243 Silver badge
Facepalm

Electric Scooters

Filtering the gene pool even as we speak, right Forest?

Windows 7 and Server 2008 end of support: What will change on 14 January?

chivo243 Silver badge
Meh

Re: I'm looking forward to this

we have one XPsp3 running only a few days a year, some US gubbermint reporting program, hasn't been updated since its release. We've been told that a web version is coming, like 8 years ago... not holding my breath on that one...

chivo243 Silver badge
Coat

Moving, not breaking speed records

Most of the estate is off of 2008r2, just one lowly server left. Working on it, also have to finish configuring Win10 for the Win7 users... I just might be ready, but will the users ever be ready for Win10??

Ministry of Justice bod jailed for stealing £1.7m with fake IT consulting contract

chivo243 Silver badge
Facepalm

two in two weeks

Two guys who got caught with a phony company billing for non-existent services, the second one taking it to the next level, pinching from the MOJ. These guys must have dropped out of "using skillz for fun and profit" course before the 'covering your tracks' chapter?

Firefox 72: Floating videos, blocking fingerprints, and defeating notification pop-ups

chivo243 Silver badge

Browza browza browza

I've been 'trying' new browsers for about a year now. I dislike how much Google has their fingers in my pie. When I got my gmail invite back in the day, search and now email! Wow, that was cool. Google just got creepy after that. I avoided Chrome, util my employer drank the kool-aid and embraced gmail, and docs and sheets, etc.

What I find at work these days, is that I need browza 1 for these sites, browza 2 for those devices, and browza 3 for my personal stuff, browza 4 just because something doesn't work well or at all in browza 1,2, or 3.

I have given FF a try in the last few weeks, so far no show stopping issues.

A Notepad nightmare leaves sysadmin with something totally unprintable

chivo243 Silver badge
Thumb Up

Re: three decades

You're actually right... The new decade starts next year. We start counting with the number 1, not 0!

chivo243 Silver badge
Thumb Up

My fav tactic

I have to return to my desk to dig into it deeper... Head out for a cuppa, back to my desk <clackity><tap> finish the cuppa, return to the scene of the crime, and hope my wizardry has worked.

IT exec sets up fake biz, uses it to bill his bosses $6m for phantom gear, gets caught by Microsoft Word metadata

chivo243 Silver badge
Pint

Re: IT Exec

+1 - add another fraud to his charge sheet.

Love it! It's the holiday season, why not give him both!

chivo243 Silver badge
Windows

Word?!

He sent the invoices in Word?!! The judge should tack on extra time for that... and even more time for using his own install of it to generate the invoices. I could point out many other ways he should have covered his tracks, but I won't...

Brit banking sector hasn't gone a single day of 2020 without something breaking

chivo243 Silver badge
Meh

Re: I always laugh when companies use the phrases

Get used to it my <random_number> friend... it's the language of the new department MRP(maybe real people?)

We're sorry we're downplaying the scale of the massive fsck up.... we're not bad, we're just not people... we don't care, we can't...

chivo243 Silver badge
Coat

Is that Lenny and Carl

Hanging the sign for 0 days with out an injury?

yes, my coat, with the pocket that leads to the bank under my mattress!

The Register disappears up its own fundament with a Y2K prank to make a BOFH's grinchy heart swell with pride

chivo243 Silver badge

It must be global... I have a friend, Jim, we call him "Bub", never underestimate Jim.. or overestimate either for that matter... Uncle Charlie, can you attest? Can I get an Amen?

chivo243 Silver badge

Re: 1st PHB

+1 but we have entered into the age of the BHB... Bezos would be up there, Jobs, Ballmer? Zucker the B ?? You didn't seriously believe that is his hair? Do you??

chivo243 Silver badge
Happy

The same reason the PFY hasn't offed the BOFH. There is a chain going back generations, an unspoken bond that keeps us all on the path forward.

This page is currency unavailable... Travelex scrubs UK homepage, kills services, knackers other sites amid 'software virus' infection

chivo243 Silver badge

The days of the currency exchange

I remember traveling through Europe back in the 90's looking for these and Thomas Cook, stopping at each currency exchange and making notes, then deciding which country to visit next based on return for the current country's currency.

TikTok boom: US Army bans squaddies from using trendy app on govt-issued phones

chivo243 Silver badge

Re: social media data hoovering is an obvious security risk

It's a work phone, and the employer is a world government. Exactly why do they have use rights to install anything on it at all? Let alone a garden variety app. One would think the militaries of the modern world would have come up with a secure chat app?

I added a bit or two... sorry, you got me started...

Greetings from the future where it's all pole-dancing robots and Pokemon passports

chivo243 Silver badge
Pint

pole-dancing robots

"They know what you like and they'll do it to within a tolerance of one micron!" Happy New Year Naked Weirdo!

Beware the Y2K task done too well, it might leave you lost in Milan

chivo243 Silver badge
Thumb Up

Y2K! Paying dividends to this day

I didn't make any extra dosh off W2K. The biggest benefit was an extra week off work just in case, we had to work to fix things. The knock on effect of this is we still get an extra week paid at Christmas vacation! Someone at the top realized it was a good idea! So far 20 weeks paid vacation due to Y2K bugs!

Two missing digits? How about two missing employees in today's story of Y2K

chivo243 Silver badge
Thumb Up

Another case of

It was this way when I got here. I worked on X and found another case of "Well there's your problem." Don't shoot the piano player!

A sprinkling of Star Wars and a dash of Jedi equals a slightly underbaked Rise Of Skywalker

chivo243 Silver badge
Alien

There are only three Star Wars films. How low can we go? I'll say 2.5 films..

The Ewoks ruined that film. Same for the mysterious group of nomad children in Mad Max III. Again, Hollywood and the inability to think out of the box. Let's add something cute! and Music Video tie-ins!

BOFH: The case of the Boss's hidden USB inkjet printer

chivo243 Silver badge
Pint

Feels like X-mas

It would seem that some new shiny surveillance gear should\would be under the tree for Simon and Stephen. These cold war antics of putting radioactive material in the printer toner, then tracing it with a geiger counter could have been done from the comfort of mission control. Besides, as much as it's a danger to the 'Boss' it is also a danger to our heroes, and that is just not acceptable, now is it!

Here's one for the New Year! Thanks!!

A user's magnetic charm makes for a special call-out for our hapless hero

chivo243 Silver badge

My only memorable incident

Back around the turn of the century, I had the Asst. to some D-level call up and complain that when she opened a certain document Word would lose its mind and type crap. English wasn't her first language, probably 4th or 5th, and back in my greenhorn days, I was always as polite a possible. I showed up to see this "only in this document" phenomenon. Turns out this Ass. to a D had to transcribe written minutes stored in a binder. She would dutifully open the document in Word, type a few things date of meeting, minute taker (her), no problem! She would slide the binder into place, and open it right onto the control key!!! and proceed to transcribe the document, all the time producing utter crap! I moved the binder off of the key, repositioned they keyboard slightly and asked her to try again. No problem! I advised her to keep the keyboard clear, in a pleasant, calm tone, it could have happened to anyone. I was later asked about the incident, behind closed doors...

chivo243 Silver badge

Nice one, REE!

Rare earth element? You mean common courtesy towards support workers?

Beware the three-finger-salute, or 'How I Got The Keys To The Kingdom'

chivo243 Silver badge

Re: "The Boss handed over his key to the server room"

Nah, I trust him enough to nag the shit out of me until I have an answer to the all burning question:

"When will it be back up??!"

Thought lately, another part of the circus is screaming for help, but it isn't my monkey...

El Reg presents: Your one-step guide on where not to store electronic mail

chivo243 Silver badge
WTF?

Re: Deleted

PST Hell! This is another thing I am glad we ditched. It was never fun trying to resurrect a local .pst file that is larger that some 4K films.

chivo243 Silver badge
Trollface

Mick eh?

In most other places with a D level, giving the apple in the trash analogy will get you moving boxes and an escort to the loading dock...

How do you ascertain user acceptability if you keep killing off the users?

chivo243 Silver badge
Thumb Up

accidental aerial food delivery!

I once tripped and launched a pizza off of the tray, it will forever be a slo-mo moment in my mind. Whooof whoooof whoooof glop! and the pizza skids across the floor!

That flingin' food thing didn't fly while grandpa was at the head of the table. I saw aunts and uncles marched off to their rooms after one volley. I believe the projectiles were peas, and no two rail cannons.

Happy Holidays Dabbsy! Take the rest of the year off!

BOFH: 'Twas the night before Christmas, and the ransomware struck

chivo243 Silver badge
Thumb Up

Mis-Direction

Nice Job! Keep him running...puff sputter

UK's Virgin Media celebrates the end of 2019 with a good, old fashioned TITSUP*

chivo243 Silver badge
Holmes

Beeping vehicles and hi-vis-guys They didn't get our fibre!

Many years ago, they got our power line, or most of it, and we felt it for months afterwards. In the following months, we lost over 50% of our switches. After the third one in a month, someone at the vendor asked if we had seen a power cut...

The time PC Tools spared an aerospace techie the blushes

chivo243 Silver badge

Norton Utilities 2002

Saved my bacon once. And many times it fixed errors on stubborn XP issues too! Is HiRen still producing his utility CD? That rocked too!

What's that? Encryption's OK now? UK politicos Brexit from Whatsapp to Signal

chivo243 Silver badge

which would frustrate the process of leaking a conversation to the press.

Really? Another phone with a decent camera will get around that. What about mobile screen recording? Is that a thing? Let me look...

for the fruit users Go to the Photos app and select your screen recording. Some apps may not allow you to record audio.

and for our droid users

https://www.wondershare.com/screen-recorder/free-android-screen-recording-app.html

This isn't Boeing very well... Faulty timer knackers Starliner cargo capsule on its way to International Space Station

chivo243 Silver badge

poor Boeing

First they get toilet paper on their shoes from the 737max\MCAS debacle on their shoes, now that TP is on fire!

'Supporting Internet Explorer is hell': Web developers identify top needs – new survey

chivo243 Silver badge
Windows

consider it the beacon for malware... runway lights and a guy waving the malware in pointing where to park!

chivo243 Silver badge

Develop for IE?

The missus has never asked for a winstall to check her work. She tests on phones, tablets and her mac(s). She's found over time that fewer and fewer people use a computer to access her company's website. I don't remember the figures, but tablets and mobiles are at the top for her customer base. Yes, her company is at the opposite end of the spectrum from corporate entities that rely on M$ technology.

Five years in the clink for super-crook who scammed Google, Facebook out of $120m with fake tech invoices

chivo243 Silver badge

5 years

to plan his next caper, while the balance collects interest. I wonder where he will be doing his time? Someone important also housed in that Pen? Wasn't that a movie plot, guy gets put in prison so he can get close to another crim with better chops?

Cheque out my mad metal frisbee skillz... oops. Lights out!

chivo243 Silver badge

Re: Who me?

The new tagging of articles is really throwing me off... Like VonDutch, I don't know what day it is.

Das Reboot: Uni forces 38,000 students, staff to queue, show their papers for password reset following 'cyber attack'

chivo243 Silver badge
Facepalm

That photo of the queue

Looks like my days at uni when I had to do course selection, 5 days of queueing just to find out the class was full! I did meet some nice girls in the queue, that was the only bright side.

chivo243 Silver badge
Windows

"..a more efficient and effective way of cleaning PCs than running about with USB drives and sticking green stickers."

There has to be, but some educational institutes don't have the tools or techs to use the tools. Back in the early 2000s we chased NIMDA and KLEEZ with the sneaker net attack. Even after disconnecting every computer from the network(phase 1) and running to each computer to stick in a floppy to remove both offenders (phase 2) it didn't work. WE still had to do it like 3 more times.

I would hope each staffer and student who had to run the clean on their computers would get a discount on tuition or staff could ask for overtime?

Hate speech row: Fine or jail anyone who calls people boffins, geeks or eggheads, psychology nerd demands

chivo243 Silver badge
Trollface

Re: I think she's trolling

Trollvertising!! El Reg has the branding covered ------------------>

chivo243 Silver badge
Thumb Up

+1

Nice ELP reference there!